Here’s the gist: In June 2009, two Texas artists who go by the name The Art Guys make an artwork called The Art Guys Marry a Plant. The two straight guys marry a live oak sapling in a ceremony at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston.
They tell the Houston art critic Douglas Britt that it’s nice they can ride the publicity coattails of the gay-rights marriage discussion, but “I don’t even care about that,” one of the Art Guys tells Britt. “It doesn’t even warrant discussion. I’m happy that the issue is out there because it helps promotes us, in a crude sense, when the people mistakenly think that it’s a political gesture, which to my mind, it’s not.”
Britt slams the piece in the Houston Chronicle for its careless whimsy, when meanwhile gay couples around the world are fighting for basic rights, from protection from being jailed and killed to marriage.
Then, this fall, things get more urgent. The Menil Collection—currently enjoying a resurgence in its reputation for supporting civil-rights causes, in this book—decides to acquire The Art Guys Marry a Plant. And the piece will find a permanent home on the outdoor grounds of the Menil, sharing space with icons by Mark Rothko and Barnett Newman.
This is when Douglas Britt asks me to marry him.
He explains:
Unfortunately, I didn’t hear about the accession until September, so I’ve had little time to execute a response before the dedication on Nov. 19. I ultimately settled on staging a piece called The Art Critics Marry Each Other. (Because the Art Guys’ brand of performance is largely meant to confound criticism, I thought readers — and perhaps the Menil — might find it helpful to see what really marrying for art, not pretending to, could look like. Besides, I can’t support the remedy some have suggested — that rogue elements harm the tree, which never had a say in the matter. Make art, not herbicide.)
It turns out trying to legally marry an art critic blurs the boundary between art and life quite a bit more effectively than pretending to marry a plant. Maybe too much more effectively. While four colleagues I asked — Jen Graves, art critic of the Stranger, a Seattle alt-weekly; Milwaukee Journal-Sentinal art and architecture critic Mary Louise Schumacher; Paddy Johnson, New York-based editor of the blog Art Fag City; and Houston artist Laura Lark, who writes for Glasstire — said they loved the idea, their lives got in the way.
In my case, there were several factors, above all that I’m planning my actual wedding (happening in April).
But I’m still torn. I despise the idea that art evades politics just because a couple of clueless (heartless?) artists say it does—and then that they’re rewarded by a major museum.
What do you say, Slog? Is The Art Critics Marry Each Other a compelling and effective enough protest to drop everything for? And should I do it especially because it’s an homage to Amy and Dan?
UPDATE: I’m adding a poll, which may or may not be legally binding. (For the record, my fiance says whatever I want to do, he supports.)
Yes! The art work has to include all the elements though, including annulment to have your own “real” wedding… All the legal bumbling that goes along with the marriage, and tracking the differences between a pretend wedding to a tree and the legal proceedings of a “real” one.
The tree thing sounds totally douchey, and the response re: referencing gay marriage struggles is thoughtless to the point of idiocy.
I think a more interesting response would be for an art critic to marry an artist, and then write an art review of the marriage ceremony. The conflict of interest issues make this scenario much more interesting than having two critics marry.
Um, no. Just because one bunch of idiots has engaged in a misunderstood clusterfuck doesn’t mean you have to.
I suggest as an alternative finding The Art Guys and discharging several full canisters of pepper spray into their eyes.
@2 – A wedding is more in the realm of a theater critic, assuming he can be bothered to sit through the whole thing.
Don’t do it.
Despite your intentions, in my mind, you’d just be further cheapening the fight for LGBT civil rights.
The way to fight against these two douchebags is to stop giving them publicity, and on the rare occasions when you do have to mention them point out that they are talentless, moronic hacks.
I feel uncomfortable advocating you participate, though I do like the idea.
What I really wanted to offer was a defense of the Art Guys. They’re been performing prankster art for decades now and are well-known for producing work that is funny, thought-provoking, heartfelt, and yet often quite stupid. Sometimes they take the piss out of SERIOUS ART, and sometimes they start something silly that turns into something beautiful. I attended a retrospective show a few years back that was a fantastic night of arts entertainment.
So when I read what they’d said, it just sounded like them promoting themselves as always into the nearest bullhorn. (I’d like a little more context for the quote the writer includes) As a gay dude, I’m not miffed in the least with The Art Guys, though this performance is less interesting than others.
Yes, why not?
I got married in Portland at Voodoo Doughnuts, to a dying man. He asked me to marry him (both of us aware of his condition) and I said yes, if I could annul it on the train back to Seattle.
The night after I agreed to this I had a dream that I was walking down an endless cathedral aisle in a strapless white wedding dress, with a white kite safety-pinned directly to the skin on my back. After some research I learned that white is the color of death in China, where kites (I believe–please if there are any history channel watching trolls out there don’t jump all over me if I got this wrong) originated. So I tried to replicate this as closely as I could during the actual ceremony.
My wedding ring was a bacon chocolate cruller.
It was sort of a Make-A-Wish Foundation wedding, but it was delicious! And when people asked me if it was real, my answer is actually yes. There was an act of love imbedded in the entire goofy thing.
Now I have a great story and a profound experience. I would do it again and think you should too! If you want to….
I’d do it. Just make sure you get a pre-nup to facilitate the divorce.
Some “artist” should print out this post and comment thread and declare it to be a brilliant piece entitled “In Which the ‘Art World’ Crawls Yet Another Meaningless Inch Up It’s Own Self-absorbed Socially-disassociated Pretentious Ass”.
It IS fascinating that the Menil will be acquiring it. Fuck the art critics, talk to the people at the Menil. I don’t take the “Art Guys” quotes about marriage equality seriously. Artists talking is not nearly as important as their work. Maybe they are serious about not caring, maybe indeed this is some sort of slippery slope argument. But only in the context of marriage equality does this matter at all. So what is the Menil’s stance?
It’s nice that you were proposed to, but youd be better off writing and talking about the situation rather than performing a stunt. Blehg
As an art critic, aren’t you supposed to observe symbolic statements as opposed to wed yourself to them?
Oh please do, if only to amuse this ex-Seattleite in her new town. Texas is practically screaming for some decent cultural commentary and I’d kill for just a little intelligent art prank flavor again. I’ll pick you up at the goddamn airport. You guys can even honeymoon at our lovely stilt-house on the Bizarro island planet of Galveston if you promise to bring your real fiancee too. There is BBQ.
Also please ignore the inconveniently accurate #11, I hate it when he’s right.
I’m understanding that this would be a legit, legal marriage… so what if you marry the guy and then he doesn’t allow a divorce or annulment? or what if he makes your life hell to pursue that? that sounds like a hot mess that wouldn’t be worth the headache.
I’ve met your fiancé and he seems a lot more interesting (and handsome) than The Art Guys. If you’re going to do it then marry Flat Chested Mama. Isn’t she already married to her creative self/other? That would be covering the grounds of LGBT conviction and reinforcement as well as polygamy.