January 2, 2014: Ke$ha entered a rehab facility to receive treatment for an eating disorder. She would stay in the facility a month longer than the 30-day stint she originally announced.
January 18: The Pitbull song "Timber," which features Ke$ha on vocals, reached number one on the Billboard charts.
January 21: Ke$ha asked her fans to mail her their teeth in rehab so she could make crafts with them. (In 2012, she famously fashioned a headdress, bustier, and jewelry out of fan-teeth.)
January 22: TMZ reported that Ke$ha's treatment facility had "a strict no-tooth policy," but said that fake teeth were welcome.
March 22: Ke$ha announced that her stint in rehab was successful and she was "feeling healthy" and "working on tons of new music." To demonstrate her progress, she turned the dollar sign in her name into a normal letter s, and she changed her Twitter handle from @Ke$haSuxx to @KeshaRose.
June 22: Kesha debuted as a judge on Rising Star, a Voice-like reality singing competition show that no human being will ever watch.
October 14: News broke that Kesha filed a lawsuit against celebrity pop producer Dr. Luke alleging that he sexually, physically, and emotionally abused her.
October 17: A new Kesha single called "Lover" was leaked onto SoundCloud and YouTube. For a Kesha song, it's practically dirgelike, ending with Kesha imploring her lover to "walk away," all set to a dying-heartbeat handclap.
December 3: When Lady Gaga admitted on Howard Stern's radio show that she was raped by a producer when she was 19, Kesha's lawyer, Mark Geragos, tweeted "Guess who the rapist was," and when a follower replied with Dr. Luke's name, Geragos replied "#bingo." Lady Gaga's PR firm immediately denied that Dr. Luke was the producer Gaga was talking about.
December 8: Dr. Luke countersued Geragos for his Twitter claims.
January 15, 2015: Kesha, Beyoncé-like, drops a surprise double album packed with head-on party jams, fierce declarations of personal strength, and surprisingly touching country ballads cowritten with her mother, country songwriter Pebe Sebert.
March 21: Kesha launches a seat-of-her-pants national tour, featuring a set and instruments constructed entirely from the teeth of her fans.
June 1: Kesha announces that she's reinstating the dollar sign into her name and changing her Twitter handle to @Ke$haRulezz.
August 25: The United Nations names Ke$ha humanity's ambassador to the Kth'raatha, the alien race that landed a spaceship in the middle of Central Park in mid-July.
September 18: Ke$ha ascends to the heavens with her new alien friends and becomes Queen of the Galaxy. Too late, humanity realizes that she was too good for us, and we begin in earnest to try to make ourselves better. 
