Nuns eating corn off the cob and stuff, there’s nothing heavy happening there. - Derek Erdman
"Nuns eating corn off the cob and stuff, there’s nothing heavy happening there." - Derek Erdman Photo courtesy of Derek Erdman

What will we do without Derek Erdman? The consummate prankster and local artist is leaving for the bright, sunny shores of Lake Michigan (and/or New York City), and the closing party for his last gallery show "No, You Catch Us Outside How About That" with Brandon Vosika is tomorrow at Vermillion Art Gallery and Bar.

You are leaving Seattle…nooooooo! Why?

Oh, no no. It’s okay. You won’t even notice I’ve gone. I’ve hardly left the house the past couple of years, the consta-drizzle of the Pacific Northwest has molded me into an extreme introvert. So not much will change. Though for the past year we’ve been playing really loud animal noises out of our apartment window with a megaphone, our neighbors will be happy to see me go. Alas, that’s life in the big city. Don’t love elephant screams at 11pm? Move to Monroe!

What will you miss about Seattle the most? What WON’T you miss?

I’ll surely miss the friends that I’ve made, my apartment, my job at Sub Pop. Also Little Uncle, L’il Woody’s, the Bait Shop, Linda Derschang’s restaurants, Rancho Bravo, the Hideout, Vermillion, LifeLong’s thrift store, Molly Moon’s, Frankie & Joe’s Salty Caramel Ash ice cream, the Stranger, Clay the Solowheel rider , the Pony, Scarecrow Video, Annapurna, Black Lodge, Volunteer Park, Momiji sushi, Banya 5, Central Cinema, GameWorks, Maneki... holy shit I’m typing so much stuff right now. There’s a lot I’ll miss because there are still a lot of great places left here.

As I mentioned, I won’t miss the consta-drizzle weather, the always gray. The continual tearing down of neat old things in Seattle is a drag, but people should still look for the bright side. But I guess that’s pretty difficult when there’s NEVER ANY FUCKING SUNLIGHT. I never did care much for the Light Rail for some reason, and the fries at Dick’s are way too soggy.

But I’ve driven like a fucking maniac here for the past seven years and have never gotten a ticket. Mariner’s games are pretty fun. The Home Depot in SODO is excellent. I’ll miss Pacific Supply in Capitol Hill. Proletariat Pizza and the restaurants of Monica Dimas. Nancy Guppy. Crows. I know I’m forgetting some stuff. The Gum Wall? The Crab Pot?

Word on the street is that you are considering either NYC or Chicago. Made any decisions yet? Leaning towards one over the other?

I’m going back to Chicago. I’ve been telling people that Seattle “chewed me up and spit me out.” But ultimately my girlfriend Ashley Armitage and I will probably be spending time in both cities. Chicago is a really easy place to live economically, so we’re trying to figure a way to have a place in New York too. But my books and furniture will be in Chicago.

Art & Swag from the Vermillion show.
Art & swag from the Vermillion show. Photo Courtesy of Derek Erdman

Is Vermillion your last art show in Seattle? Is it true all the pieces sold out the opening night?

My last gallery show in Seattle, most likely. I’ll probably have a few house shows before I move though. The last day I’m here will be August 1st, so those shows will probably happen in July. Tons of paintings will be for sale and I’ll probably make pancakes. I’ve gotten super good at making pancakes. And yes, I think 95% of the Vermillion show sold on the opening night. That’s really nice. The prices were a lot higher than usual too. People here can be very kind.

How has living in Seattle over these years helped you grow as an artist?

Err, perhaps in a sense it’s made me a little more cautious, so I’d say perhaps the opposite of growing? Or maybe growing in a sense of maturity, but also being super sensitive about what might offend somebody. I’m thrilled to go back to a big city where there’s more anonymity. Seattle’s a tiny bubble. It’s an encouraging place, but you can also get raked over some coals. Sometimes unfairly, by lunatics.

Surely you have one last amazing prank planned before you leave? If so can you give us a hint as to what it might be?

I’m planning an art show that will display and sell stolen apartment signs and then donate all of the money to a shelter called Mary’s Place. I never would have done that before I moved here. What a noble effort! I’ve also always wanted to cover the giant Chloe apartment sign with paint. But if that actually ends up happening IT WASN’T ME.

What are your plans for your last summer living in Seattle?

I’d like to have my friends over for pancakes, and try to stop using words like “hella” and “stoked.” My offer to make every person in Seattle a drawing of Carol Channing will end the day I move, hint hint.