That beard can drain my swamp. Credit: ZACH GIBSON / STRINGER
That beard can drain my swamp.
That beard can drain my swamp. ZACH GIBSON / STRINGER

A note to former Washington senator-cum-Amazon-lobbyist Guy Palumbo: There’s bipartisan agreement that you shouldn’t be allowed to be a lobbyist, my man. Today, U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Ted Cruz have agreed over Twitter that members of Congress should be banned from becoming lobbyists. The conversation began when Ocasio-Cortez shared an article from Public Citizen that found “nearly two-thirds of recently retired or defeated U.S. lawmakers now working outside politics have landed jobs influencing federal policy.” Cruz retweeted Ocasio-Cortez, repeated his stance that there should be a “LIFETIME BAN on former Members of Congress becoming lobbyists.” It appears the two may work together to create legislation.

Crosscut’s Melissa Santos recently broke down our state’s policy on senators quitting their gigs to lobby their former colleagues, and spoiler: “There is no law in place to prevent Palumbo from leaving the Legislature and going straight to work as a high-level Amazon lobbyist.”

Greenpeace gives Jay Inslee an “A-” on climate change: But he’s the top of his class. The other 19 candidates ranked by the environmental group all scored a “B+” (Bernie Sanders, who came in second) to “F” (Bill Weld, Republican). The group noted that Inslee “has laid out the most detailed plan of any candidate so far that’s right in line with a Green New Deal, and championed bold action as governor of Washington state.”

Here’s how Greenpeace ranks and grades the current candidates:

Jay Inslee, A-
Bernie Sanders, B+
Cory Booker, B+
Kirsten Gillibrand, B
Elizabeth Warren, B
Tulsi Gabbard, B
Beto O’Rourke, B-
Marianne Williamson, C
Pete Buttigieg, C
Kamala Harris, C-
Eric Swalwell, C-
Amy Klobuchar, C-
John Delaney, D+
Andrew Yang, D+
Julian Castro, D+
Steve Bullock, D
Tim Ryan, D-
Joe Biden, D-
John Hickenlooper, D-
Bill Weld, F

Top North Korean officials allegedly executed: Kim Hyok Chol, an aide who led negotiations between North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and our idiot-in-chief in February, has been executed, according to the Chosun Ilbo, a major South Korean newspaper, and other outlets. Chosun Ilbo reports that four other North Korean foreign officials were also executed. Reuters is calling it a purge.

That said, a good point from Twitter:

What’s the light haze outside? It’s smoke from Canada. Eventually, this will be Seattle:

It’s “LinkedIn meets Bumble, for developers”: A new app called FizBuz was profiled by GeekWire today. The app promises to connect job-seeking software engineers to employers in a more holistic way than LinkedIn. I’m not sure exactly how it’s like Bumble—it doesn’t seem like you hook up on FizBuz—but I’d like to use this space to point out that LinkedIn is a hook-up app, and multiple creepy ass men have tried to get on my dick through my LinkedIn DMs. I HAVE NOT RESPONDED AND I AM NOT INTERESTED.

Hot tip:

It’s true! Here’s what the city says:

You can borrow a radar gun from your nearest Customer Service Centers to determine typical speeds vehicles travel. When you go in to pick up the radar gun, you will receive instruction on its use. Most people who borrow the radar gun find that there is not a speeding problem on their street. SDOT defines a speeding problem as 15% or more of the traffic is going five miles over the speed limit.

I know Slog PM is kinda boring when we link to our own posts, but…: I definitely recommend these Slog posts from Nathalie, Rich, and Lester today:

  • We Asked Seattle’s Business Titans Why They’re Spending so Much to Flip the City Council. Here’s What They Said.
  • Landlords Are Already Scheming of Ways to Dodge New Eviction Laws
  • What Do Council Candidates Want to Do About the Recent Spate of Shootings?

    Innocence lost:

    I hope J.K. Rowling makes Harry shove his wand up his bussy: Because that’s the only thing I’m missing from the already-too-long Harry Potter series. But alas, J.K. Rowling can’t quit, and the series is getting four more titles. They’re only “bite-sized” and “non-fiction” (wait, what?) and will be available for $2.99 in June through Pottermore, the place where nerds still play with wands on the Internet. Do Slog commenters even like Harry Potter? I feel like all of you are 45+ and hate everything, so I doubt this news will matter to you.

    I’m living for this Car2Go drama: There’s a standoff happening in Queen Anne. It’s between a man, Dan Smith, and a Car2Go car, operated by Share Now. When someone parked the car on a property that Dan Smith manages, Smith says he contacted Share Now to have it removed. Since it’s a part of a car-sharing service, there was no telling how long the car would stay there. Smith, unsatisfied by how long Share Now was taking to get back to him when he called them to retrieve the vehicle, decided to hold the car hostage. He barricaded it on his property with metal fence posts. Now, he’s asking Share Now to pay him for the posts, as well as impound and late fees and a “$500 renter harassment fee.”

    Disclosure: I’ve been a longtime Car2Go user. I’ve rented them in Seattle, Minneapolis, all over the country. And you know what I’ve noticed in Seattle more than any other city? PEOPLE PARK THESE THINGS ON PRIVATE PROPERTY—FREQUENTLY. In their garages. In their apartment complexes. There have been multiple instances where I’ve gone to rent one of these cars and someone’s parked it away in a private garage. Or, like in this guy’s case, barricaded it on their property as some sort of private property performance art. We really don’t care about our neighbors here.

    Ew:

    EW:

    • Chase Burns is The Stranger's former editor. He's covered everything from gay luchadores to chemical weapons to Isabella Rossellini's favorite pets.