It was totally out of line for me to come into your apartment with
the keys you gave me, look at your computer monitor, and allow my eyes
to fall on the open chain of e-mails you were sending to the girl you
were cheating on me with. That was a total invasion of your privacy.
Oh, my bad. And how awful of me to use the word “cheat” to describe you
spending the night with some girl and then talking with her about what
to do with “your situation” since your friends were on to you. You’re
right, you didn’t do anything wrong. The nerve of me to confront you!
And I was acting like a totally psycho “ex” girlfriend when I came back
the next day to get my stuff and saw three open condom wrappers around
your bed from the night before. And yes, it was a totally criminal act
on my part to dump out the massive booze collection you had so wisely
chosen to invest your insurance-settlement money in. I know how
important alcohol is for your lifestyle, but hey, maybe your friends
and new fuck buddy will still like you without it. And on the bright
side, you don’t have me getting you down anymore with any of that
long-term, serious-relationship bullshit.

74 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. I have little sympathy for someone who takes “here’s a key” for “you can dig through my computer and any personal communications”.

    How is that okay?

  4. he was cheating on her long before this next chick with my con artist exroomate. he’s a bad seed and i hope him and his stupid bicycle gang take a wrong turn and all ride off a cliff together

  7. i’ve soooo been there, oh HOW i’ve been there. you’ll be fine. & that fucker will never be able to keep anyone worthwhile close to him & his poison existence…. but the wasted years don’t grow back. & WHY do they always have to feebly try to point the blame back at you somehow??

  8. Why didn’t she get her stuff when she initially found the email (which she didn’t snoop to discover, no, not at all)? It sounds like she came back to perpetrate some form of revenge (see: booze down the drain) which is, indeed, psycho.

  9. I am totally hungry too. These vodka breakfasts and amphetamine lunches leave me famished come dinner time, though I could use some sleep.

  10. OK, for the last time “girlfriend” does not equal “wife”. Just because you are dating someone does not mean you have entered into a monogamous relationship. If there is no ring on his finger, then he is not cheating on anyone. If the guy was married to this nutjob, then he would be a cheater. As it is, all he is guilty of is dating the wrong girl.

    She, however, broke into his house, invaded his privacy and destroyed his property. If I were that guy I would have pressed charges. But then I would never be in this situation because I don’t date dumbass bitches.

  12. This is what happens when monogamy is just assumed to be the default. One wonders if they ever even had that conversation regarding exclusivity. This sounds to me like she made assumptions, and then got all psycho when they weren’t reality.

    I’ve been married to my husband for 11 years, with him for 16, and I would NEVER read his IM conversations with others or his email.

    Dumping the booze is in fact a criminal offense, if it can be proven.

  15. lol at 60 and 63 you are morons and too old to understand the digital age. its NOT the same as opening someones physical mail… and dumping booze as a criminal offense? please.

    It would be weird to read someones email if you were only dating them for a few weeks, but if you have a key to their place and had been together long enough to know who they hang out with I dont see the issue. He or she would have to go out of their way to hide another partner after a few months.

    If you have half a brain and dont want her find out then sign the fuck out of gmail. Sounds like a drunk man-slut that was too sloppy to keep his shit together.

    That being said, I would have stolen the liquor.

  16. Even better-you could then have resold the unopened bottles(or even the opened ones to particularly deserving winos, at half-price.)

  17. @60 seems like you are guilty of the same and are bitter after getting dumped. haha if you knew women AT ALL you know to assume you are in a monogamous relationship unless a conversation is had to the contrary. Just out of respect just say it. Not that hard, and then you would avoid these types of situations. Don’t take your bitterness out on this girl whose circumstance you dont know in full.

    I love how upset people get over these!

    Who knows if its even real…look at the balloon boy!

  18. Guy like calling girls they are sick of psycho. Really, once they are done, no matter what you do, you’re a psycho. But really, pouring out ALL the booze that’s really psycho.

  21. I’m glad you dumped the booze.

    And yeah, #63: monogamy is the default. Like it or not. The default is decided by the majority culture, not you. Not me. Not him.

  22. three open condom wrappers around your bed from the night before? damn, viagra or cialis? dude had it coming though – what kind of a dipshit gives the bitch a key to his crib?

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