Baby Gorilla, born May 18, 2026, at 5:50 a.m. at the Woodland Park Zoo
It’s an especially busy week, but when Megan challenged me to do the Woodland Park Zoo’s baby gorilla’s astrological chart yesterday morning in Slog AM, what was I supposed to do? Not drop everything to quickly do amateur astrology for a newborn primate? I need an important/whimsical distraction, and maybe you do too.
The baby gorilla is a Taurus. Aww. Taurus is a grounded earth sign; I’d say they’re the most earthly of earth signs? Or, to use a word that will always remind me of Charles Mudede writing about that Natalie Merchant album cover (more than once): fecund. They’re ruled by the planet Venus, and they appreciate beauty and earthly comforts more than most. In astrology memes, they’re always associating Taurus with elaborate sandwiches and luxury slippers. They’re also a bit stubborn and honestly good for them, they know their worth (expen$ive). I always think of Taurus as Ferdinand the bull, peaceful, unbothered, relaxing under his tree, appreciating his flowers. Or that statue of the babe god Dionysus, one hand on his gorgeous hair, the other casually palming some grapes.
The baby gorilla’s moon is in Gemini. In fact, this baby gorilla has a Gemini stellium (when three or more planets are in the same sign) with Gemini also in Venus and Mercury, plus a Gemini rising (!).
Gemini is an air sign that’s ruled by Mercury, the messenger, the fast-moving planet of thinking, speaking, learning, and ideas. They love information! They love to yap! They want to be entertained! They want to know, and they want you to know. They want to know if you know.
They’re bright and articulate and clever, but can also be somewhat mentally restless (Gemini’s shadows are well documented, so we’ll just leave it at “mercurial”). I think of Gemini and I think of Charlie Day’s string graph. I also think of the time my Gemini friend read the entire Dave’s Killer Bread story to me off the Dave’s Killer website in college when we were trying to finish a project at 3 a.m. and somehow that is just very Gemini to me.
Anyway, Gemini in Mercury? Apex yapping.
Your Venus sign has to do with relationships and how you give and receive affection. Gemini in Venus, then, might be stimulated through conversations, curiosity, double texting, triple texting, and debates. This baby gorilla would probably like it if you wrote them a witty lil poem or sent them a puzzle to solve. Your rising/ascendant sign is how you “come off” to the world, so a Gemini rising probably seems sort of playful and animated. Maybe even a little tricksy. Youthful well into adulthood.
We also have some fire in here to balance things out. Mars in Aries, where it loves to be. Mars deals with war and action of all kinds; Aries energy is all about that. The firstborn of the zodiac, let’s goooo! Kinda impatient, direct, brave, act-first / think-later, but they get shit done. In this placement, you can imagine a little tussle here and there, a little fight in this baby gorilla’s heart.
Who else is a Taurus with a Gemini moon, you ask? Sigmund Freud, Shirley Temple, Jet Li, Ella Fitzgerald, and Enyaaa
Okay! Remember, astrology is real and is never wrong! If you don’t like it, don’t read about it, bye!
