We’re revisiting some of the most popular Savage Love letters of all time and organizing them in our new Best Savage Love Letters of the Day section. Today’s fan favorite comes from September, 2015. —Eds. Note
Our son, who is almost 30 years old, was married four years ago. He just shared with us that for the last three years he and his wife have been practicing polyamory. They are committed to their relationship, but have each had relationships with both men and women over the last three years. We are trying to get our heads around this, as we come from a more traditional background (we’ve been married 40 years in a loving and respectful relationship), and we find ourselves feeling very sad. We are accepting and non-judgmental, just trying to understand how he came to this decision. He feels that to make love “finite,” to love only one person, is “not being true” and that this kind of relationship prevents dishonesty and is based on truth. He also shared that his wife was the first one to broach this idea three years ago and after many long and deep conversations he eventually overcame his jealousy and now is embracing this practice. They do not have children and do not plan to ever have children. Any guidance you can provide to us would be greatly appreciated.
I greatly admire you and your work, and thank you for all of the caring guidance you have provided over the years.
Sad Mama