Whatever .22 bullets! I am MACHETE. And I am not afraid. I will even chase you out into the parking lot. MACHETE HAS NO FEAR. Machete improvises.

Watch the un-embeddable video, with parking lot chase here.

Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...