ROTFLMAO, as the kids say/said. George Rekers explains what he was doing in Europe for ten days with a male escort he hired on he was attempting to cure him—the escort—of his homosexuality.

Like John the Baptist and Jesus, I have a loving Christian ministry to homosexuals and prostitutes in which I share the Good News of Jesus Christ with them (see I Corinthians 6:8-11). Contrary to false gossip, innuendo, and slander about me, I do not in any way “hate” homosexuals, but I seek to lovingly share two types of messages to them, as I did with the young man called “Lucien” in the news story.

Joe has the whole thing—go read it, go read it this instant.

And you know... I'm sure anti-gay preachers and groups that want to "cure" gays would get a lot more takers if more gay people knew that the "cure" involved all-expense-paid trips to Europe and large fees for our time. Hell, my boyfriend and I volunteer to accompany George Rekers on this next trip to Europe (provided there's no sex, just easily-tuned-out bible verses). Getting back to George: Pam at the Blend thinks this may be the best excuse ever...

If you talk with my travel assistant that the story called "Lucien," you will find I spent a great deal of time sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse, and I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him in great detail.

"Sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse" isn't all that catchy—so let's just stick to "lifting your luggage," okay?

UPDATE: I propose that "whatever floats your boat" be immediately retired in favor of "whatever lifts your luggage." And, once again, the Miami New Times broke this story. Read Penn Bullock and Brandon K. Thorp's hilarious takedown of George Rekers here.