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ROTFLMAO, as the kids say/said. George Rekers explains what he was doing in Europe for ten days with a male escort he hired on Rentboy.com: he was attempting to cure him—the escort—of his homosexuality.

Like John the Baptist and Jesus, I have a loving Christian ministry to homosexuals and prostitutes in which I share the Good News of Jesus Christ with them (see I Corinthians 6:8-11). Contrary to false gossip, innuendo, and slander about me, I do not in any way “hate” homosexuals, but I seek to lovingly share two types of messages to them, as I did with the young man called “Lucien” in the news story.

Joe has the whole thing—go read it, go read it this instant.

And you know… I’m sure anti-gay preachers and groups that want to “cure” gays would get a lot more takers if more gay people knew that the “cure” involved all-expense-paid trips to Europe and large fees for our time. Hell, my boyfriend and I volunteer to accompany George Rekers on this next trip to Europe (provided there’s no sex, just easily-tuned-out bible verses). Getting back to George: Pam at the Blend thinks this may be the best excuse ever…

If you talk with my travel assistant that the story called “Lucien,” you will find I spent a great deal of time sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse, and I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him in great detail.

“Sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse” isn’t all that catchy—so let’s just stick to “lifting your luggage,” okay?

UPDATE: I propose that “whatever floats your boat” be immediately retired in favor of “whatever lifts your luggage.” And, once again, the Miami New Times broke this story. Read Penn Bullock and Brandon K. Thorp’s hilarious takedown of George Rekers here.

46 replies on “Whatever Lifts Your Luggage, George”

  1. With any of these Republicants, you need to operate under the assumption that they are both closeted and gay – and the “struggle” they describe is the one inside themselves about that very basic fact (being gay) clashing with their own inclinations.

    The more active they are in being anti-gay, the more likely they themselves are gay.

    This is not, however, usually true of the women Republicants active in the movement.

  2. I don’t think a “free trip” could possibly make up for a) having any sort of sex with that nasty troll and b) having to pray with him for forgiveness and healing afterwards. I just hope that rent boy charged a very, very high rent.

  3. “It has been scientifically proven, Lucien, that young men who smell my ass leakage never want to have sex with men again. Try it.”

  4. Trying to “cure” hot young rent boys is a good cover story for your ignorant, spiteful followers back home, I guess, if you’re a self-righteous bigoted closet-case with a chip on his shoulder and a deep, secret longing for dick.

    I mean, sure, we don’t buy it, but I bet his congregation does. As long as other people keep paying his bills, what does it matter if a bunch of effete liberals in Seattle can see what he’s doing?

  5. @2 – No, the women are more often than not sexually repressed and resentful of male sexuality of all kinds, gay or straight. They’re afraid that if being gay is “okay”, then their husbands will leave their frigid asses.

  6. It’s one thing to witness to a homo or pro$titute, it’s another one to take them on a vacation with you…

  7. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  8. Hmm, I guess that Miami New Times link didn’t go through. Anyway, you can find it on the homepage, miaminewtimes.com

    Somebody should mention that Rekers adopted kids and testified against gay adoption.

  9. So, let get this straight. He only wanted to help. By doing what?

    Sucking the gay right out him?

    It’s his calling from God no doubt.

  10. Hey, Penn…

    Linked and quoted your piece in my first post about George. I will add a link to this post. Amazing stuff! You’re doing the Lord’s work there at the New Times.

    xo
    Dan

  11. I think “sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ” should also be assumed to be an euphemism. Certainly up there with “hiking the Appalacian Trail.”

  12. Prostitutes are “culturally despised”? The only people I know who despise them are religious assholes. He’s a sick mutherfucker, this one!

  13. This has to be the best excuse of all time for paying to spend time with a sex worker… “I’m just preaching the word to the young man as Jesus would have done…” “He looked like he needed a little time away.” “I thought taking him for a ten day intensive session away from his day job would help him find the Lord!” I just keep laughing.

    I wonder if he used money from the church for the trip after all it was a working vacation and the good Reverend did say Amen several times…. The Reverend’s next sermon could be titled, “Who I Did on My European Vacation While Seeing God.”

  14. Penn, I’ve posted this comment about Rekers anti-adoption/foster care views on a couple of sites. It’s nauseating when you think the 16 year old he adopted is now the same age as the rent boy he hired to carry his luggage.
    ———-

    The implications of Rekers taking in foster children and adopting a 16 year old boy are deeply disturbing when taken in the context of Rekers’ own testimony in an Arkansas foster parenting trial. In a compilation of his testimony on the NARTH web site, Rekers states, ““households with a homosexually-behaving male also would contribute to a potentially higher risk of removal due to the sexual abuse of an adolescent male foster child by that homosexual”.

    While it would be a leap to claim that Rekers has done anything wrong with the children placed in his care, it certainly gives one pause to consider how many of these viciously anti-gay men have acted out in the private lives exactly what they attack in public.

    Here’s the link to the NARTH post: http://www.narth.com/docs/Rati…..al040… The quote is on page 3.

  15. you hear about these religious guys sometimes who pay a stripper for a dance and then sit beside them and preach about jesus and so forth. win-win i guess (easy money for the lady)

  16. “He took such a wide stance lifting my luggage and sharing scientific information that I forgot to abandon homosexual intercourse.”

  17. Dan how could you post this without a pic of the Rent Boy in question? Some found the profile clearly. We’re all reading descriptions of his tight ass! I thought you for sure would have scored a picture.

  18. Red Flag Alert!! Ok, listen, this guy likes young guys apparently including adopting a 16 year old boy who is now Lucien’s age. There’s something seriously off about this man. Then again, if you’ve ever met any of these “ex-gay” folks, you immediately recognize something’s off.

  19. Ol’ George might be on to something with this radical new approach to curing someone of the desire to have sex with men. I’m pretty sure that 10 days of sex with him would leave me with absolutely no desire to ever again have sex with a man for the rest of my life.

  20. This justification is right up there with the whole “I’m not gay, I love women. I just love them so much that I want to know what it’s like to BE one, and seeing as I’m a man, the closest thing I can experience to being a woman is having sex with a man. Boy do I love women!”

    HAHAHA

  21. @23 – Not so. I just got an e-mail from change.org about the EVILS of Craigslist’s “adult services” section and how I should be OUTRAGED that CL promotes “drug trafficking” and is the “biggest pimp” out there. *sigh*

    Also, before Christianity came along, the dominant religious paradigm was all about prostitution.

  22. I wonder if men like this make deals with God in their own heads…things like, “Lord, if you just let ME have all the gay sex I want, I’ll make sure nobody else is having it! That’ll make You happy, right?”

  23. I’am tired of you weenier/wackers,crossdressers and perfect circles. Your comments are boring and stupid. Get a job.

  24. Has anybody ever noticed that when ever republicans/christians get caught having in gay scandals….they are almost never headlines on Drudgereport?

  25. His story makes absolute sense to me. He needed someone to help him “lift his luggage”.

    As anyone who has ever traveled knows, there are NO porters at the airports whose job it is is to help you “lift your luggage”.

    The airlines don’t employ any baggage handlers to help you “lift your luggage”.

    No taxi drivers or chauffer will help you “lift your luggage”.

    Hotels have no employees called porters or bell men that will “lift your luggage”.

    How in the world was this man supposed to get his oversized suitcase full of dildos and lube all the way to Europe on his own????

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