Hey all you laid off Microsoft contractors looking for work... have you heard the good news? The Creation Musuem in Petersburg, Kentucky is hiring! Open positions include Constituent Data Administrator, Web Developer—Python, and Senior Database Administrator, the last of which lists the following required technical knowledge and skills:

  • 4+ Years of Experience Administrating SQL Server Databases
  • SQL Server 2000, 2005, 2008 (installation, configuration, securing, monitoring)
  • T-SQL creation, analysis, and tuning
  • Database backup and restore processes
  • Disaster recovery planning and implementation
  • Data warehouse design and administration
  • ETL creation, scheduling, tuning, and Maintaining
  • A proven firmness in personal walk with Christ and a passion to use technical skills for the glory of God

So if you have the topnotch SQL skills necessary to organize the Creation Museum's incredible collection of lies, myths, and anti-science bullshit—covering all 6,000 years of world history—email them your resume... along with your "Salvation testimony," "Creation belief statement," and "Confirmation of your agreement with the AiG Statement of Faith."