Right Now at Green Lake

1. It’s very nice and spring-ish out there.

   Confidential to people with strollers on the multi-use path: pull over to the side before you spend five minutes fussing with your little bundle of joy. The rest of us want you dead, you path hogging scum.

2. All this early blooming just makes me dread the usual early April freeze even more. My cherry trees are going to be fucked. Climate change sucks.

3. Lovely! We still have 2 feet of snow on the ground here in Baltimore.

4. @ 1, I always pull over to the side, but I’m going to make sure to stop right in the middle of the path the next time I go ’round Green Lake, you passive aggressive pussy.

5. It is beautiful out. I’m definitely getting my ass to work early tomorrow so I can cut out and enjoy some sunshine. I’m worried we’re going to have a mild summer (i.e. not good for growing my veggies) but I’m still going to enjoy these gorgeous winter days.

6. Oh my god I’m jealous. I’m in Iowa right now, we’ve had snow on the ground for about 70 days. The trees don’t even start to bud until April.

7. Daft Matt, if I knew what you really looked like, I’d hit you even if you were on the side of the path.

   As it is, I just politely say “excuse me” to the many jerks who seem to think the middle of the path is the place to stop on a crowded multiuse trail on a sunny Sunday.

8. That’s just beautiful, one my favorite colors if not the favorite. No human hand can recreate to such perfection what nature so exquisitely creates.

9. Oh dwight, you’d run scared as soon as you saw me. Passive aggressive pussies always do.

10. I’m going to side with Dwight on this one. The Stroller People drive me out of my everlastin’ mind. Why do those things have to be so BIG? Some of them are the size of European cars. And they do, they do stop dead on the path to chuck their little nummykins under the chin and check to see if his Mozart-playing iPod headphones are still plugged in and his $400 DieselKids jacket is zipped up tight.

11. We’re just starting to get little green points sticking up out of the ground. Still, it’s better than last winter (or Iowa this winter)…

12. Jesus Christ people in Seattle really have nothing better to complain about.

13. @12, we do — but complaining about other people’s children is just so much more satisfying.

14. Really, Dwight, Fnarf, jut because no one would ever want to breed with you doesn’t mean you have to hate on those of us attractive enough to get a date. Most parents are doing the best we can with an entire life who is completely dependent, but I guess that’s a level of responsibility that your fat ass can’t understand since you can’t even be bothered to go one whole foot out of your way. Thanks for sharing.

15. The condescension is bothers me. Seattle seems really pro at this. Snarky references to “your little bundle of joy” and “nummykins” get really tired after awhile. This is coming from someone who abhorred the idea of having a kid 2-3 years ago. Now, I love carrying my daughter around outside looking at trees and insects; if I lived closer in I would love to jog her around the lake. It’s that simple.

16. ^ is what

17. Dwight has a point, but he places himself in the wrong with his anonymous complaint on slog. (Unless that’s his real name, which would be unfortunate.)

18. I don’t get the people who walk near the innermost edge of the path and let their dog (who is on a leash) casually walk along in the bike lane, thus annoying walkers/runners/bicyclists all at the same time.

19. Global Warming Rules!

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