It was the morning of December 1, just this past Wednesday, when a woman entered a building near 2nd Avenue South and South Jackson Street, approached a man sitting at a table, “set down a note in front of him, and then stabbed him in the neck with a pen,” according a Seattle police report. The woman then reportedly left and headed north to commit three more alleged assaults.
Walking up 2nd Avenue, the woman attacked another woman by grabbing her hair and then trying to take her purse, the report continues. At this point, a nearby parking enforcement officer—Officer Funk—got an eyeful of the havoc, and attempted to stop the encounter. But the woman reportedly “lunged at Funk and tried to grab an item on Funk’s belt.” A building security officer jumps in, and she turns on him, too, and slaps him in the head. Then, yet ANOTHER parking enforcement officer stepped in, who finally managed to overcome the woman and pin her to the ground.
But it’s not over! After the policeman handcuffed her, she started kicking her legs, so the police tied her legs together. The report says that the woman understood her Miranda rights, and suggests the suspect had been “using Crack and Methamphetamine in the last two days.” She was booked into King County Jail and police are seeking charges for misdemeanor assault.
But what did it say on the note she handed the man in the coffee shop?
Yay! More crackheads to make this city “interesting”!
All the while singing…
We Want The Funk
Give Us the Funk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5luzVtBMx…
The note read:
SURFACE OPTION!
What did the note say? That’s easy: “Kenneth, what’s the frequency?”
who the fuck cares ?
Unfortunate earlier slog post: http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineout/a…
I’m kind of concerned that stabbing someone in the neck is only a misdemeanor.
What kind of pen was it?
@7 She might as ell have been running around affixing stickers to public property.
“Don’t bother me, I’m an artist, I whittle heads with pens!”
@10 Slow down, man. Officer Birk would’ve been just as likely to freak out and shoot the guy she stabbed as much as shoot her.
But I’m sure you could find something sub-human about the person she stabbed if need be.
The note said: “Give me your money, this is a Bic up!”
Shouldn’t she also be charged with graffiti?
The Mayor and the Chief of Police announce that in an effor to increase public safety, they are firing all regular police patrols, and replacing them with parking cops in golf cars.
my t key must be sticking. “effort” “golf carts”
The note said: ” I’m about to stab you in the neck with a ballpoint. Act natural.”
The note said, “I’m about to stab you in the neck with a ballpoint. Act natural.”
Seriously: WTF.
Isn’t meth wonderful?
I wonder if this is the same woman being escorted by police into the ER the other day. She was wearing a spitguard and seemed agitated.
@16 – ha ha!! I like.
@12 Excellent!!
It wasnt a note. It was a Jack Chick tract.
@ 22, fucking brilliant. If I was drinking milk, it would be coming out my nose right now.
Hey, I was the girl who was attacked on second ave! The note said “I am trying to get home to Los Angeles – I need money – I can’t speak”. This turned out to be a lie as someone from the robbery dept called me and said she spoke after she was booked.
She is currently being help on $100,000.00 bail and is being charged with assault and attempted robbery.
And I have to add – I punched the bitch in the face while she was trying to take my purse. Ha. And I now carry pepper spray.
-Shana