As much as I would like to say that I, too, shoplifted an angel food cake (it’s one of my top five favorite foods), the truth is that 23 years ago I walked out of an art supply store with one of those huge, smelly black markers. I did this specifically for the purpose of writing on walls, mailboxes, and other public places. Which I did. And I enjoyed it.

12 replies on “A Note to Our Readers”

  3. When I lived in the U District I would paint over the tags on the side of my garage, then apply a coat of chain lube or axle grease or crisco. Whatever I had around that was clear when you spread it over the paint.

    Then I’d find all these attempts to tag the grease with markers, and they’d only get an inch or two before the marker got all greased up, so they’d have to go steal another one.

    I got so much satisfaction out of that. I mean, it would make me feel good for days, and then somebody would try again and man, that was awesome. I’m kind of grateful in a way, and I sort of miss that I don’t get to do it any more.

  4. It’s all part of the great circle of life, elenchos. I’m glad that my vandalizing brothers (and sisters) and I could give you that small moment of pleasure.

    Fnarf: The misspelling of my name is ass-kicking enough.

  6. Yep. Everyone knows I can’t get enough wine. In fact, they don’t even pay me. I’m chained to my computer each and every day, a slave to my unquenchable thirst for… wine.

  7. I’m sorry, I thought your name was Hoffman, and you just spelled it HUFFman because of all the markers you HUFFED. Now get on over here so I can commence your ass-kicking.

  9. @7: No fair! Your clever wordplay has my head spinning (or maybe it’s because I’m on my fifth glass of Two Buck Chuck)! How can I defend myself? How???

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