- Seattle Seahawks
- The Seahawks beat the Panthers at their last matchup. The little voice in our head says tomorrow will be a repeat.
Saturday night marks the beginning of the postseason portion of the Seahawks’ Insufferable Journey to Rewinnining the Super Bowl. This most assuredly demands a most insufferable preview. So let’s go!
Wait, what’s happening on Saturday night?
Seahawks play-off football. At home.
What are the stakes?
A berth in the NFC title game, which would also be here in Seattle. Win that, and the Seahawks’ Insufferable Journey to Rewinnining the Super Bowl will go all the way to the Super Bowl.
Will that be in Seattle, too? ‘Cause that would be so cool!
No. It’ll be in Arizona.
Boo. Who are the Seahawks playing on Saturday?
The Carolina Panthers.
Are they good?
By the standards of some average dudes playing football? Very. By the standards of the NFL? No. They’re slightly below average, having gone 7-8-1 in the lackluster NFC South.
Then what are they doing here?
That lackluster NFC South was so lackluster, 7-8-1 was good enough to win the thing. Then they beat the so-tarnished-he-doesn’t-even-qualify-as-lackluster Ryan Lindley and the Arizona Cardinals in the Wild Card round of the play-offs. Also, they’re hot.
How hot?
Six and one in their last seven games.
That’s scary!
They beat the Browns, Bucs, Saints, Falcons twice, and Ryan Lindley. They also lost to the Vikings by 18.
That’s less scary.
Yes.
Wait, didn’t we play the Panthers already?
Yes. And we won. In Carolina. And this game is in Seattle.
Oh, so this is gonna be easy?
Not necessarily. The Panthers have played the Seahawks tough each of the last three years. They have a strong front seven and are good at neutralizing what the Seahawks do best on offense. As Michael “Black Santa” Bennett put it:
“It’s like you look at a girl who looks like you, and you find out it’s your cousin, so you can’t go on a date with her even though you’d like to, because she looks like you.”
Wait, what?
I think he is saying that the Panthers are like the Seahawks. And also they’re hot?
So they’re really hot? Did they get some new players back? Is this bad?
Not really. In fact, the personnel news favors the Seahawks significantly. Seahawks center Max Unger will play, which means Russell Wilson will have something of a pocket to work in on occassion. Wide receiver Jermaine Kearse is back, meaning the Seahawks can stretch the field and create offense without going directly at Carolina’s excellent linebackers. And Panthers defensive tackle Star Lotulelei is out with a broken foot, meaning, seriously, we could see Russell Wilson working out of the pocket all day.
Also, while Carolina has played Seattle close the last few years, their quarterback, Cam Newton, is 0-3 against Seattle without a touchdown. And all three of those games were in Carolina.
So the Seahawks are going to win?
Probably.
What’s the score going to be?
I don’t know. Maybe 24-10? On paper it looks like the Panthers will need both a big game from Cam, which he has yet to produce against our secondary, and two or three big fluky breaks to win this thing.
Sounds fun.
Should be.
Where should I watch?
The game is on Saturday at 5:15 p.m., so anywhere with cold, refreshing beverages and a big TV will work. Also, ticket prices are falling on the secondary market, as they often do for first-round play-off games, so if you have $150-$200 bucks burning a hole in your pocket, you could probably get your way into the stadium.
Let me rephrase, where’s the weirdest place I could watch?
Is the Central Library weird enough for you? They’ll be giving out free tickets starting at 4 p.m. and setting up a viewing party in their auditorium.
When the Seahawks win…
Ahem.
Fine. If the Seahawks win, who’s next?
Either the Cowboys or the Packers.
I’ve heard of both of those teams. I hope the Seahawks win the Super Bowl.
Me, too, voice in my head. Me, too.