Christina!!! Christina has won the opportunity to compete in tonight’s Drunken Spelling Bee at the Crocodile (8 pm, $10, for the children!).
Here is her winning entry, which judge Bethany Jean Clement described as “a model of economy and sibilance.” (To refresh your memory: the contest was to write a 50-word story or prose poem about either spelling or bees.)
Miss Douglas was a strict enforcer. Say the word, spell it, say again. My word: “caterwaul.” Nailed it. But I failed to repeat. Denied. Forced to return to my seat, ceding first place to Carrie Castleman (“maraca”). That summer, a bee stung Cousin Jenny and she almost died. All true.
Congratulations to Christina! I cannot wait to duel with you tonight. Everyone else: You should really come to the Bee. There are six civilian speller spots left, which will be given away tonight.
Thanks to everybody for playing. All of your entries were extremely cute and entertaining. Our two runners up are after the jump. They win nothing but the admiration of their peers.
By Tom:
“Apitoxin.”
“Definition, please.”
“Venom carried by honey bees.”
“A-P-O-“
The buzzer sounded. Suddenly, an angry black cloud of bees poured out of the microphone. He ran off the stage screaming, waving his arms frantically.
“Next contestant. Your word – defenestrate.”
Panicked, Julie stared out the window and tried to concentrate.
By Eric:
I sit down at the public library computer terminal, glancing around at the people who still read books
I log in and begin to bring up the google page, checking to make sure no one is looking over my shoulder
The internet is a terrifying and mysterious place, filled with mystery, intrigue, and my true goal here
I begin to type
“Hot Bee Boners”
Breath quickens
Nearly 3 million
Results
Hooray for us all!
Go, Christina! Knock ’em dead. I have a similar story (spelled correctly, denied, “besmirched”) but not the artistic flair. Go, Christina; you drink, and spell, for all of us.
How is that story economical? 20+% of it is completely off topic and adds nothing to the main storyline. I demand a recount.
Oh no! Did gmail break the formatting on my email?
Here is the way I sent it: http://bfhoodrich.com/wp-content/uploads…
Oh no! It looks like the formatting on my story didn’t get through gmail.
Here is what it was supposed to look like: http://bfhoodrich.com/wp-content/uploads…
Also, I double posted and there isn’t any way to delete my posts. Sorry 🙁
I really like Tom’s. He just crossed over into the “Twilight Zone.” Props, Tom. Peer admiration well earned.
Damn, how did I miss this???
Eric: Really like the formatting. It adds that little extra something.
Wow, how did Tom not win this? I mean the other two are great, but that is an amazing microstory.
Tom’s was clever and funny, but Christina’s was better. The sense of the whole thing being recalled as a childhood memory, and the poignant comic bitterness of that word, (“maraca”), like she will forever feel a tinge of resentment when she hears it — just great. I want to read more. If Christina isn’t already writing stories, she should be.
I have no memories of spelling bees I competed in, but I still recall my older brother being knocked out because he did not know how to spell mascara in 6th grade. 🙁
Thank you Lindy and committee, and I am honored by my peers, both of whom are stellar. I had a great time at the Drunken Bee, getting bested by my husband (shocker! showed up as emotional support and then got all nerd-competitive on the situation! love him still). It was great and I have learned, Seattle is crazy for spelling. Don’t come if you can’t bring it.