0d05/1236116503-scaled.apple_boy.jpg

At the stock photo at right so deftly illustrates, apples are delicious.

But as anyone who’s been served one knows, pink slips taste awful.

From Gawker Media’s Valleywag:

One tipster tells us there are “major layoffs” at Apple. Another writes that “all sales teams have mandatory meetings today” and that “HR booked conference rooms in Cupertino.” Is Apple cutting salespeople loose?

At the U Village Apple Store this weekend, there was seemingly one Apple staffer for every Apple customer—it was luxurious, and did not feel like a recession. Maybe next week will be different?

(Speaking of U-Village retail experiences, at the Eddie Bauer store, I saw a customer bring a good armful of merchandise to the counter and wait for a checker. The checker arrived and asked the customer, “Buying or returning?” When the customer said “buying,” the checker said, “Oh thank God.”)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

9 replies on “Apple Layoffs Looming?”

  1. And speaking of other retail experiences, I was in Macy’s downtown yesterday and felt like I’d walked into a scene from “Dawn of the Dead.” It was utterly abandoned save for a few blank-stare employees shuffling around, zombie-like.

  3. What? I had to spend a big chunk of my weekend there getting my POS iPhone fixed. They were busy as fuck. I hate stepping foot in that place. I can never move. That place has to be making a shitload of money.

  5. I hate the Apple store SO much. I just needed to trade in my power supply that exploded and it took me hours of waiting and scheduling and explaining and negotiating. The most infuriating part was that the whole time I was trying to complete this should-have-taken-two-minutes transaction, I kept getting reminded to call the incompetent weasel behind the counter a “Genius!”

  7. Maybe this has more to do with people getting laid off and realizing they can’t afford to keep their christmas present …

  8. I totally understand the staffer at Eddie Bauer. At my store, this happens all the fucking time: You bought that bag? Really? Because we haven’t sold it in two years. Oh you bought it two years ago? And you want to…return it for full value? Oh fuck consumer, you have to be joking.

Comments are closed.