The Stranger is proud to announce HUMP 5. The Pacific Northwest’s biggest, best, and only amateur (and locally produced) porn festival goes down October 9-10, 2009 at On the Boards. The deadline for HUMP 5 submissions is September 21, 2009. Tickets for HUMP 5 go on sale September 15.
BIG NEWS: the maximum length for HUMP 5 submissions is 5 minutes. Now we don’t want to be total assholes about this, so… if you feel your film is brilliant at 6:15 and seriously harmed at 5:00, you are welcome to submit two versions of your film, i.e. a 5 minute cut and a longer cut. But you must submit both cuts. If the HUMP jury agrees that the longer version of your film is superior we may make an exception just for film.
CASH PRIZES! HUMP isn’t just about love and sex and laughs. HUMP is also about cash prizes. There are two award categories in HUMP—Humor and Hot—and a $2000 First Place Prize is awarded in both categories. (The winners are determined by audience vote.) We will also award a $500 second place prize in both categories and $250 third place prize.
EXTRA CREDIT! We ask HUMP filmmakers to use certain props and shoot at certain locations so that audiences will know when they’re watching something made just for HUMP. This year’s extra-credit props: a pink slip (lay-off or undergarment); Mormon undergarments; motorcycle boots; E-Stim Unit; Applets and Cotlets. This year’s extra-credit locations: the SLUT; theP-I Globe; the Statue of Liberty at Alki Beach; the giant mitt outside Safeco Field. Filmmakers are not required to use extra-credit props or locations, and not using them doesn’t count against you with the HUMP jury.
STUFF THE HUMP JURY WOULD LIKE TO SEE: Fem-domme action, CFNM, pegging. Including these themes won’t get your film into HUMP automatically, but it’ll give you a serious leg up. There has been a lot of films featuring tied up and/or submissive women over the last couple of years—not that there’s anything wrong with that—but turnabout is fair play and the HUMP jury is interested in seeing some women on top this year.
NEW TO HUMP? HUMP is safe, fun, and anonymous. People make films, give them to us, we make only two screening copies, and return the originals. Our only copies are destroyed live onstage after the final screening. We’ve hosted DOZENS and DOZENS of HUMP screenings over the last four years with ZERO leaks! HUMP lets you be a porn star for a weekend—not for life! And HUMP films do not have to be hardcore. Animation, instructional videos, mechanical dogs, and sexy, nonexplicit shorts have all been featured in HUMP!
FREE ADVICE: Last year we heard from several people who didn’t start shooting their films until a few days before the submission deadline and wanted to know if they could submit their films late. We weren’t able to include their films in the festival. Don’t procrastinate! There’s no reason you can’t start making your films now. It’s going to be a lovely weekend for making porn!
This story has been updated since it was originally published.
Enough with the pasty, greasy models overexposed in front of white seamless paper already.
How you guys get KOMO to sponsor this? After that whole thing with Marlee Ginter and her story for the Center for Sex Positive Culture?
Did you know that this year you’ll have more films than NY’s Tribeca film fest?
Wow.
And Yawn is right, we wants curves and multi-ethnic people like we see, not your gfs and bfs.
Hurray! Thank you.
Maybe you should add that it would be a good idea to have credits at the end (with pictures!). I’ve never been able to give the best actors the props they deserve.
FE plz.
@5 To clarify, I recommend each film try to include visual credits.
@5 & 7
Credits take up precious time in an already tight time limit, but I hear you.
You’d get twice as many submissions if you promised that Will in Seattle wouldn’t be allowed to see them.
“Including these themes won’t get your film into HUMP automatically, but it’ll give you a serious leg up. “
Heh heh. Leg up. Heh heh.
I don’t actually think I’ve ever seen any of them, actually.
Just make sure you don’t let Anthony Lane of the New Yorker review them.
Will Marlee Ginter be submitting an entry? I sincerely hope so. Googling ‘Marlee Ginter’ still returns results awash with goat references.
@11: so, you DON’T KNOW if you’ve been to Hump before, or not? Interesting.
Love the two “actuallys”, actually.
Please keep the Tunafest under control.
I see a lot of movies – like Star Trek this coming Tuesday – and if something from HUMP showed at another festival, it’s possible I saw it.
But I didn’t see it at HUMP.
is this the year where Toe Big Fnarf screws the Lincoln Toe Truck?
Why do you always advertise this with those nasty masks? Bunnies? Sure, I loved my chocolate eggs last weekend, but bunnies are no turn-on. In fact, they are just creepy. How about just the shot of the woman, and leave the 2 bunny-men out??
There’s a video from a past Hump on pornhub. Look in the funny section. I don’t remember the title but it’s about making it in the porn business and it features the game mousetrap. I suppose it’s likely that the makers of the film posted it.
That bunny on the right is Jonny Boy from the Can Can Castaways. I so wish he’d do me.
Dan, you’re supposed to be a sex-advice columnist. I can’t believe you’re telling guys to shoot early.
They’re all castaways! Or at least all were at one point!
Dan,
Your son must be proud.
He is!
@22,
I’d be proud of Dan…”Your dad’s an accountant. Look at what mine does!”
Will, you’re seeing “ST” THREE DAYS before opening? How does THAT work? And I’m assuming it doesn’t involve a dark, wobbly, poorly recorded bit torrent (not that I know ANYTHING about such things!)?
I think I just officially became old.
I had to look up CFNM. I mean, really, there’s an ACRONYM for that? Okay…
“Stuff the Hump” is a good name for a band.
@25 – it got rescheduled from Tuesday to Thursday – but it’s still beforehand.
Gonna be fun!
@17–Naw, kick the girl out and leave the two boys in. I’d happily do/be done by either.
29, For sure!
celebrate the diversity of my anus hole
HUMP hastens the day when Seattle slides into the Pacific Ocean.
32, Yes because the Earth’s tectonic plates are sooo offended by human sexuality.
ask Sodom.
and Gomorrah.
34, What do two fictional towns from an ancient mythology have to do with this? This is reality, Greg. Here in reality, the Earths natural functions are not affected by sexuality.
nor are viruses
36, Actually, AIDS predominately a heterosexually transmitted disease.
sniff that buttcrack!