A hot tip from Slog reader Cedar, who went through airport security yesterday, but declined to go through the backscatter body scanner with his wife and 17-month-old son.

[The screener] asked if we were opting out, and I said yes. He called out “we have an opt-out!”. His companion, on an adjacent baggage scanner told him “they aren’t opt-outs, let them through, I’ll tell you why”. Then he told him that parents traveling with small children could elect not to go through the machine, and it wouldn’t be a formal “opt-out”, they could just go through the regular metal detector. Their supervisor overheard the explanation and made a “be quiet” gesture, and said to “keep it down!”. So apparently, there is a new, secret policy that lets families avoid the scanner, without a pat-down.

Yeah, you never know when the terrorists are going to bring down an airplane with an exploding baby, so shhhh… don’t tell anybody.

Also, let me understand this, the backscatter radiation scanners are perfectly safe—nothing to worry about at all, the TSA assures us—yet they’ve made an exemption for babies. Doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. But then, nothing about TSA’s security theater ever has.

41 replies on “Babies Are the New Boxcutters”

  2. LOL at the “secret” … at the “backscatter” … to meany it wasn’t a concern about how healthy they are, it can be an invasion of privacy to a specific community, and with the bickering between two larger communities, this small one is vulnerable to a LOT of shit from people, especially people in power. The problem … this small community needs to fly to get that one part fixed so they are no longer at risk of persecution …. so, no danger from radiation, we already knew that, danger from getting beaten, raped, or murdered by idiotic people in power and having it all written off …. for a true minority, very high.

  3. Oh, wanted to add, that if they did make a medical exception call for that small minority, it wouldn’t decrease it’s effectiveness at all, but they don’t want to …. which is one of the reasons these backscatter things are suspicious.

  6. the radiation tests were done by the company who produces the technology. they tested the amount on the entire body, but the radiation from the technology does not penetrate the skin. the question they needed to answer was whether the skin can safely withstand that much radiation. that they didn’t test. i wonder why.

  9. The other day I went through airport security and declined the back scatter. And the TSA guy, in a snotty whine, said “You know you get more radiation up there at 30,000 feet than you get from this machine.” I said thank you, I decline. And he said, “I’m required to tell you that information.” Right. Not very likely, not in that snotty “I know what you need better than you do” voice.

  13. “you never know when the terrorists are going to bring down an airplane with an exploding baby, so shhhh… don’t tell anybody.”

    Well, why wouldn’t terrorists do this? If someone is willing to kill themselves and thousands of innocent people – including many people of their own religion / nationality – why wouldn’t they be willing to sacrifice their own baby?

  15. SLC airport tries to make me go through the stupid thing every time. Then they starting saying that the machine they were using didn’t utilize radiation. I end up getting groped every time I have to fly out of there.

    @4 – I vote for KittenKoder and SeattleBlues locked in a room together.

  16. You know, I enjoy a good groping every now and then. Much preferable to being irradiated by an inadequately-tested machine. Fuck you, TSA.

  19. I go for the groping every time. In my experience the TSA guys have been super professional about it.

    To my disappointment, my last three flights had the backscatter machine out of commission…

  20. @13,

    Terrorists, especially suicide attackers, tend to be single, childless men. I guess it’s not impossible, just unlikely.

    That said, those who get up in arms because grandma or a wittle precious baby were searched by TSA are very clearly advocating racial profiling. They aren’t upset about the onerous loss of privacy; they’re upset that it’s applying to “good” (read: white) people.

  21. @9 check back in w/ him after a decade of working w/ that thing, when he’s got some bizarre skin cancer. while those machines put us all at risk, most likely the greatest risk will prove to be to the operators themselves.

  22. As I was driving into my apartment complex just now, an elderly black man in blue jean overalls, was walking into the parking lot and saying to someone (in a voice loud enough for all to hear) “are you sucking his cock in that car”.

    Time: 6:45 pm

  23. Sorry, but on this one limited issue I have to agree with Goldstein.

    TSA is a joke, always has been, always will be. And the level of liberty we’re collectively willing to surrender for the false impression of security is truly appalling to me as an American.

  26. @15 You know, that could be fun, as long as there are no repercussions … none, no law involved, no hold bar.

    @21 The machines do not put out that much radiation, you get more on a sunny day in Seattle … even more on an overcast one.

  27. I still want to see Dan Savage and that turd ‘Dategurl’ from The Weakly wrestle it out in a kiddy pool full of Jell-O. Because Dan will kick her ass.

    Then we all drown Kitten Komputer Goddess in the pool of Jell-O.

    Seriously, Kitten Komputer Dingbat: Pay attention to this- You do not need to post in every goddamn thread. You do not need to post NEARLY as often as you do. Fact.

  28. @23: Amazing, isn’t it? I’m pretty darn liberal and I agree with you “one this one limited issue” 100%. I wish rational conservatives and liberals could get together and at least get rid of the stupid TSA. Countless billions just to make ourselves no more secure, but considerably less free.

  29. Minus 9/11 – TSA employees to a person: “Would you like X-rayed fries with that?” I just loved being protected by the Blue Glove League as if I had Hansen’s disease or Ebola virus. Because I was wearing ‘heavy metal’ suspenders, I was informed I would have to go through the feel-up; the unattractive TSAgent explained how it would work and if I wished, we could do it in private, and I said: “No, I’m fine, I’ve been groped in public before…” [not mentioning, it involved a double martini and a blow job on a bar stool].

  31. #31

    Sounds Svensmarkian to me.

    CLOUD is an experiment that uses a cloud chamber to study the possible link between galactic cosmic rays and cloud formation. Based at the Proton Synchrotron at CERN, this is the first time a high-energy physics accelerator has been used to study atmospheric and climate science; the results could greatly modify our understanding of clouds and climate.

    http://public.web.cern.ch/public/en/rese…

  32. The exploding baby line is cute, but doesn’t really get to the point. Does anyone seriously think that a terrorist with the serious intention to hijack/bomb an airplane would hesitate to bring along a woman and baby to act as a “family” and thus get around these scanners?

    Either the scanners are safe security procedures that vastly improve the detection of weapons and explosive devices and are essential, or they’re not. If they are, while a baby may be taken through the metal detector, adults should still go through the scanner. If they’re not, then we should get rid of the whole ugly mess for everyone, with or without babies.

  33. I’m 2 months pregnant and either go through the metal detectors or get the pat down. As much as they say the technology for the new scanners has been tested, they still zap me with a decent dose and I’d rather not double (or multiply by 1.8, whatever) the amount I’ll be getting by flying. Other concerns are that those machines require calibration and the operators aren’t necessarily trained to do that, so even if they are supposed to be low-dose, who knows what they are really doing. For me and the very rapidly developing baby I’m carrying, its just not worth the risk.

    I guess I just don’t trust the security theater that is the TSA….

  34. There’s no new “secret policy”. The supervisor asked them to “keep it down” because he was studying for his GED. Once he gets it, he is eligible for a TSA executive position.

  36. I think this exception is so stupid. If this scanner is necessary and helpful (and I don’t believe that it is), then it is necessary and helpful for everyone. As 32/Lynx said, it isn’t like terrorists are unwilling to kill women and children. All we’ll be doing is convincing terrorists to drag babies onto planes that they intend to blow up.

  37. One idiot from Nigeria tries to light his skivvies on fire and now we have scanners and ball gropes. I am dreading the inevitable jackass who tries to get on a plane with a stick of dynamite up his butt. Then we move to full cavity searches.

  39. We were flying out of Pullman last month, and they made my husband do a special hand-swab test for gunpowder and explosives residue. I rather doubt Pullman is a high-priority target for terrorists, so what I suspect is that they were issued the kits, and they need to use the crap up to get it out of the way. My husband was pissed beyond belief; I was just a little skeptical of their claim that he didn’t need to wash his hands afterward, because it’s perfectly non-toxic.

    They pulled one lady out of that line to do the private-room search, too. Jesus, overreact much? Yeah, I’m sure the hordes of jihadists are all converging on fucking Pullman.

  40. There have been at least two attempts or plots to use a baby to smugggle a bomb on board a plane.
    both stories i know of are horrible. In one, an irish woman was given a ticket by her fiance and baby father to supposedly join him in cyprus. Explosives were found in the baby carrier. the woman was exonerated.

    In 2006 in London, MI-5 arrested several people plotting to hide explosive liquids in the a baby’s bottle. the parents of the baby were in on the plot and prepared to sacrifice themselves and the infant.

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