Hi: Welcome to college. Welcome to Seattle.
On a related note: College is terrible and Seattle is terrible.
Wait! No, they’re not terrible, but they are full of people, and people are the worst—full of shitty, unsolicited advice that’s way more about them than it is about you. In many ways, the most important thing you can learn in college is who to trust and who not to. For example, don’t trust anyone who tells you it matters that the previous sentence didn’t read “whom to trust.” They’re correct, but that doesn’t mean they’re right.
Do trust The Stranger. Always. Pick up a copy every Wednesday. Make thestranger.com your home page. Want to see a show? Find out what’s happening in the news? Learn where and how to properly insert a butt plug? We are the only Seattle media outlet you will ever need…