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In the army of songs about bummers, Kurtis Blow‘s “The Breaks” and Alanis Morissette‘s “Ironic” rank high. But between things that are ironic and things that are the breaks, what’s worse?

Cast your vote on Line Out.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...