…and promotes pregnancy prevention by gloating about her weird, lucky privilege.

Thank you, E!

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

34 replies on “Bristol Palin Plays “What If?””

  1. I’ll bite her trolling. What if she didn’t grow up in that family? Well she probably would have gotten an abortion, that’s what.

  3. Are these people really this stupid? Pause? What the fuck?!?
    Use birth control! This reminds me of that stupid “Just say no” campaign by another stupid right winger.

  5. I’m not one to shy away from a little schadenfreude when given the chance, but I have to say, this message might make a difference in some young stupid girls thought process.
    She doesn’t seem to be promoting abstinence, if anything, she’s encouraging pre-marital sex. Pause doesn’t mean stop playing, it means take a second to get that condom on, then go to town.
    We sex-positives should jump on this message and say “Yeah, you should pause, get some protection, then have fun.” Yay for co-opting!

  7. i’m with #1 and #5. this commercial is ridiculous. yeah it wouldn’t be pretty because no one, especially not conservatives, wants to offer any sort of support or assistance to any POOR woman who chooses to have her child. FUCK YOU!

  10. What if my family hadn’t totally bogarted all the Pascal Mouawad jewelry, Skagen watches and other expensive items from the Oscar swag tent?

  12. With no support, she still has a pretty nice apartment.

    I was thinking while I watched this…”What if all that was true, AND women didn’t have the right to choose?”

  14. i have bigger problems with other stuff the Palins do. Bristol seems like a decent kid with great tits being brought up by hypocritical, delusional trash.

  19. to be fair, this is part of a campaign by an organization that doesn’t support abstinence only education. In their Latest News section, The Candie’s Foundation says:

    “Health care reform legislation reinstates abstinence-only funding

    The nation’s leading teen pregnancy prevention organizations, including The Candie’s Foundation, were relieved last year when President Obama decided not to renew funding for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs whose efficacy is questionable.

    These same organizations, which support sex education that provides teens with information about both abstinence and contraception, were disappointed last week when Congress decided to reinstate some of this funding as part of the health care reform legislation.”

  21. @8, her momma’s big Fox contract is being put to good use in those New York salons and department stores, isn’t it? She looks pretty hot. Have to find something to gag her with, though.

  23. “What if I didn’t have a mom willing to claim maternity to the first of a pair of Irish twins just to prevent damage to her reputation, and I actually had to also raise the baby with Down’s Syndrome that I gave birth to?”

  24. David,
    I agree with @5enigma and @19pain. If this PSA prevents one less unexpected/unwanted pregnancy so be it. That’s a good thing.

    I have a great friend who has a 19 y/o daughter who recently had a baby out of wedlock. My friend remarked “you play, you pay”. She was trying to encourage responsibility. At the same time, she is raising other 3 teenage daughters. None are pregnant or sexually active that I know of. They are also honor students. I think preaching some sense of “fear” or “danger” associated with sex at adolescence just might work. It worked for me I never had sex until I was 21 y/o.

  26. I understand the point that the PSA’s goal is to help young women.

    Which is why I give it a D+.

    “Pause before you play”???? What the hell does THAT mean. Sure, it could mean put on a condom before fucking. It could also mean dump your loser jock bf because he’s pressuring you into sex. It could mean a lot of things, but what it doesn’t say is “When you’re horny and hot and just gotta FUCK, those are the times you make big mistakes. The time to address those potential mistakes are when you’re in a normal state of mind. Get on the pill. Keep some condoms w/ you at all times, because you never know. Alcohol will make it far more likely you’ll be doing the nasty, so be especially prepared when you are drinking. Find out NOW where to get an abortion, and if you have no facilities in your area, or only ones which are surrounded by gun-toting teabaggers, then make damn sure you have access to the morning after pill.”

    I’m not a writer for PSA’s (obviously), but I’m sure w/ the folks who produced this one had enough money to find someone to write something succinct that has actual information in it, instead of the blathering platitude of “Pause before play.”

  27. I’m not going to press play on that video, but I do have to wonder why they filmed it in a domestic roomful of stuffy pseudo-antique furnishings, and dressed her up in an old-bourgeois-lady Chanel knockoff jacket, and lit her with the type of super soft lighting that’s usually reserved for old wrinkled ladies like Barbara Walters. She’s not even 20 years old yet and she’s already being styled to look like a dried up middle-aged Republican trophy wife.

  31. Well, since that Kim in Portland-Attitude Devant threesome is probably never gonna happen, I’ve got to set my sights on something more attainable.

  32. You naughty flirt, you made me laugh. Thank you. From what I read of her, Attitude Devant, sounds hot. I applaud your excellent taste.

  33. lmfao so its vague..but okay “what ifs” dont mean ANYTHING you have the privileges and money and everything. this does not hit home with the other millions of poor pregnant or sexually active teenagers. what a fucking waste.

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