Bristol speaks to America’s teenagers:
She has a healthy baby boy who has just learned to sit up, but Bristol Palin said she’s using her fame to tell other teens to do what she didn’t do—abstain from sex.
“Regardless of what I did personally, I just think that abstinence is the only … 100 percent foolproof way to prevent pregnancy,” she told “Good Morning America” today, backing away from a previous statement on Fox News that abstinence wasn’t realistic, saying it was taken out of context.
Right off the top of my head, Bristol: mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, outercourse, sex toys your partner can insert into you, sex toys you can insert your partner into, erotic role-play that doesn’t culminate in vaginal intercourse, GAY SEX—there are lots of “foolproof” ways for teenagers (and adults) to be sexual, to be fully intimate, without risking an unplanned pregnancy. It’s possible for a teenager to have fulfilling and low-risk sex, and the intimacy and closeness and connection that comes along with it, without risking the “24-hour job and… huge responsibility” that having a baby entails. Instead of telling teenagers to say no to sex—which will work about as well as telling them to say no to drugs—we should be telling teenagers that, yes, they can wait.
But if they do decide to become sexually active they need to know about birth control—and have access to it—and they need to know that they options. Sex isn’t vaginal intercourse or nothing at all. Outercourse, oral, masturbation, and sex toys aren’t consolation prizes for teenagers who aren’t ready for sex; they’re honest-to-God sex acts and that adults enjoy in addition to and sometimes in place of vaginal intercourse.
“Sex toys you can insert your partner into” is a very evocative phrase. Thank you.
Dan, you forgot about opposite sex, you know its what you have in opposite marriage… Really I kinda feel bad for Bristol, I mean she got all the consequences of sex (family backlash, a baby and a really herpe of a babydaddy) but I am betting none of the orgasmic, sloppy, bendy, twisty, tasty, and downright delightful benefits… Poor ickle kid…
And speaking of teenagers:
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article…
The safest way is forced sterilization.
Democrats must be desperate if they keep have to parading a Palin in the media to take the heat off their crumbling administration.
Hey Bristol, just why did you do what you personally did? Surely, you received the abstinence message from your parents. What else did you need to know? Why were you so weak?
Silly Dan. “Abstinence” includes saddlebacking and in some cases, unreciprocated blowjobs.
Wait… what’s “outercourse”? Do I even want to know?
@5 The Palins parade themselves. They refuse to go away.
Shorter Bristol Palin: I’m about to speak and you’re about to wish I hadn’t. Again.
Where I work there’s practically a syndrome: kids who were homeschooled to protect them from the baddies in the big wide world and got pregnant during unsupervised “study sessions” with other homeschoolers. There seems to be a belief bordering on superstition that “nice” boys don’t.
Dan,
Something tells me this is getting old. Both Bristol & Levi, her ex-beau and father of her child are clearly milking their 15 minutes of fame.
Look, if at least a few teenage gals are prevented from having an unplanned pregnancy because of Bristol’s experience & counsel then so be it. On the other hand, if they don’t listen to her advice, then there’s a good chance they’re in for a big hurt.
Put Bailo’s mug on a box of condoms. Serious boner-killing, even, dare I say, spermacidal properties there. What happened, man? House fire?
Abstinence IS the best way to avoid pregnancy… just like simply holding it forever is the best way to avoid accidentally peeing on the toilet seat.
Well, I can certainly think of quite a few very kinky things I’d like to do with ol’ Bristol that don’t involve vaginal intercourse. Maybe I should offer to give her an education.
You wouldn’t happen to have her e-mail address, would you?
I knew she’d have to backtrack on the “abstinence isn’t realistic” statement sooner or later. You can’t say things like that when you’re mom is jockeying for power in the Republican Party.
Man, her situation must suck, having to lie about her personal beliefs to a national audience for the sake of momma’s career in a doomed party.
@12 – you’re disregarding the larger effect of Bristol saying ‘abstinence is the only way.’ Even if 100 girls listen to her, thousands more will be making unsafe sex choices because their parents and school districts have been backed up in their decision to not even mention safer sex practices.
No amount of Jonas Brothers/Bristol Palin grandstanding would have kept my teenage brother from becoming sexually active. But he was smart enough to use a condom. And when THAT failed, he knew that Plan B was an option, and one he and his girlfriend utilized. Score one for comprehensive liberal Seattle sex-ed.
@16 – yeah, that mother daughter ‘you’re cramping my career’ conversation must have been at LEAST as awkward as the Palin family birds and bees talk. That is, if Mama Palin wasn’t still telling Bristol that the stork brings babies as of last year…
Haha. 100% foolproof… says the fool. who got pregnant.
God, how much would it suck to have Sarah Palin as your mom? Poor leotard never had a chance.
Carefull there, Mr. Fifty-Two-Eighty. She could become enchanted with you.
Can somebody PLEASE make a PSA advocating all of these 100% foolproof contraception techniques?
Outercourse is not quite 100%, because of dribbling, of course.
Oh, and Abstinence is not quite 100% either, if you believe in that whole immaculate conception thing.
@23
Abstinence: It sure didn’t work for the Virgin Mary….
Urban dictionary says “outercourse” is what used to be called dry humping. OK, call it what you like.
“Frottage” is another word that ought to get used more frequently in this kind of context…
In this context, the word “abstinence” should always have an asterisk denoting “if used properly”, like they do in Ortho-Cept and Valtrex commercials. Also, doing great business thanks to programs like these.
But: “Vaginal Intercourse is just the BEST!” – Lois Griffin
@Kim, well, I guess that’s just a risk I’d have to take. It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.
You can have all the sex you want as a teenager, and never risk getting pregnant, Bristol. Just have sex with another woman. *poof!* pregnancy worries over! (Plus I bet you’d have a hell of a lot more fun than you had with Dungaree, or whatever the hell his name was.)
@ Fifty-Two-Eighty, you are such a team player. We owe you one.
Just how likely is getting pregnant, honestly, if she was on the pill and he was wearing a rubber, and they had sex only the week before menstruation? Cuz I’m thinking 0%. Stats anyone?
Has anyone at all asked her what she was doing for birth control post baby? I’m sure it was ok for them to have as much sex as they wanted during the pregnancy, but if she’s an abstinence advocate (and she did say she wished everyone would wait ten years – I assume that meant to have sex) she should be staying celibate for the next ten years? Unless she gets married? And even then? I guess? God, this is all so confusing! What does Bristol Palin want me to do? I mean, if that was the policy, is it a mystery why the boyfriend bailed?
homo bashing hetro; this shit never gets old/
Yeah, her quote makes it sound like she’s saying, “Don’t be like me. I tried to avoid getting pregnant, while having sex, but only abstinence is 100%.”
Was she using birth control? Besides prayer.
Yeah, her quote makes it sound like she’s saying, “Don’t be like me. I tried to avoid getting pregnant, while having sex, but only abstinence is 100%.”
Was she using birth control? Besides prayer.
@31. I’m pretty sure if you were pregnant that would unpregnant you, the odds are so low they’re negative.
Why is it such an unrealistic idea to teach our children to wait until they are married to have sex? It’s because parents today are just too lazy to bother actually raising their kids anymore. They don’t EVER tell their kids no about anything, why start with sex or sex toys??? It’s pathetic!
#37, I was raised not to have sex before marriage, but as I became an adult I questioned that teaching. Do you really think you can avoid teenagers likewise questioning what they were taught? So the reasons and rationales better be clear and something the teenager will believe. Fear of god didn’t work for me because I believe in a forgiving god, fear of my parents led me to hide it, fear of pregnancy got me on the pill, fear of STDs and being emotionally hurt kept me monogamous. As a parent, I’m sparing my kids much of the anguish I overcame by teaching them to be sexually responsible. I guarantee you that I’m not a lazy parent, and I’m absolutely sure I’ve spent more time thinking than you have!
most guys would prefer to marry a virgin
if you are a virgin, more successful and attractive guys will be after you, even if you are not as attractive or successful as the next “popped” girl
tell this to our girls – it is the truth. any virgin over 20 is hard to find but most guys will do anything for one.
nobody wants to marry a girl who got screwed when she was 14 and ever since then.