Last night, I attended an event for Seattle City Council member Tim Burgess’s reelection campaign at the Jefferson Park Lawn Bowling Club (people were stuffing envelopes with money, but I didn’t donate). Naturally, I was a little nervous beforehand, so I decided to look up guidelines on appropriate attire. Worldbowler.com said I’d be okay if I dressed in all cream or white. So I grabbed some khakis, a cream yellow dress shirt, and off-white Converse and went to town.
Burgess and his dozen fans (mostly upper-middle class, middle-aged white people) shared four Costco pizzas (veggie, pepperoni, and cheese) and nonchalantly discussed the deep-bore tunnel, the Seattle Police Officers Guild, and the correlation between homelessness and crime. Burgess thinks it’s very low—he wants to move toward location-based enforcement.
Tim and I played the first game.
The goal of lawn bowling is to roll your four unevenly-weighted bowls closest to the jack in a series of rounds. You swing the ball and let go with a spin motion, with the heavier side pointed towards the inside. A low release and graceful, gentle departure guarantee a solid bowl.
After two heated rounds, I eventually stole victory from Burgess (totally intentionally) by knocking the jack toward my bowls. No one who knew what they were doing bothered to keep score. When asked what he thought of his first game of lawn bowling, Burgess replied, “It was great until you assaulted me with your bowls.”
I applaud your brave sally into posting pictures of yourself here on Slog – that’s a line I’m not sure other interns have crossed. You appear to fit right in with the middle class white people, iPhone in your Dockers pocket and all.
That’s a pretty classy getup, yeah.
This was just an excuse to show off your bowling outfit and brag about your win, wasn’t it? Not that I’m complaining.
Is “lawn bowling” what rich people (or, um, upper middle class people) call bocce ball? Or is there an actual difference?
@4 – I believe they prefer to be called Job-Creating Americans.
Time until someone asks Unpaid Intern to assault them with his bowls…5…4…3…
@5, bear in mind though that the JeffPark clubbers aren’t rich – anyone can join for a hundred bucks a year. A person doing a season of kickball with Underdog Sports leagues (or bocce with Underdog at the Green Lake Lawn Bowling Club, for that matter) runs $65.
http://www.underdogseattle.com/gallery/?…
rule #1 for lawn bowling: no fucking pleated pants. wait, that goes for the rest of life, too.
Meh.
Moe Bar tonite for the fundraising win.
But it’s nice seeing lawn bowling.
@6 can’t leave you hanging…
Paul, dear unpaid intern Paul, you can assault me with your bowls any day of the week.
@10 – I almost did it myself, but that’d be wrong. This is Slog.