Just kidding about that headline, but holy crap is Carrie Prejean’s ongoing downward spiral a wonder to behold.

Hot on the heels of her View grilling and idiotically aborted appearance on Larry King Live, Prejean has abruptly pulled out of a splashy speaking gig. From TMZ:

TMZ has learned Carrie Prejean just pulled out of a talk she was supposed to give this afternoon at the Capitol Hill Club in Washington D.C.—an exclusive club for Republicans only.

An insider at the Capitol Hill Club tells TMZ Carrie canceled five minutes before she was supposed to speak because her camp wanted to avoid a repeat of last night’s “Larry King Live” fiasco — when she almost walked off the set.

Carrie faced a fresh wave of criticism this morning after her former hookup told us she wanted him to lie about her sex tape and tell people she was underage when she filmed it … when she was really 20-years-old.

Also on TMZ, some damning anti-Prejean testimony from Miss California USA president Keith Lewis:

“The public is finally getting a glimpse of the real Carrie Prejean who lives in her own delusional world. The childish behavior, her negative attitude, the sarcasm and condescending tone, the disrespect and continual lying she is demonstrating now is only a fraction of what we endured during her reign and after. Anyone who buys her book is supporting a woman who is actually the opposite of everything she claims to be. I sincerely hope she is able to get the psychological help I believe she has shown to clearly need.”

Don’t forget, Prejean’s whole horrible week was originally supposed to function as publicity for her new book, the full title of which is Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks, which currently ranks #701 on Amazon’s Bestsellers List—a gratifyingly ridiculous position for a book whose “author” has been on a headline-making weeklong press blitz. From the book’s inside flap:

Carrie Prejean endured the hellish nightmare that the liberal media can inflict on anyone who disagrees with their agenda, but her faith, courage, and conviction have made her a role model for how we can stare down the bullies of political correctness and reclaim our God-given rights to freedom of speech, thought, and conscience.

And that was written before the events of this week. What a wonderful world we live in. Now please enjoy what for me is the ultimate image of the whole Carrie Prejean saga—a photo taken by the boyfriend for whom Prejean diddled herself on camera, which accomplishes the amazing task of making a thin, pretty, ostentatiously “Christian” woman look like a fat slut.

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Carrie Prejean, you are a national treasure.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

56 replies on “Carrie Prejean Found Dead in New Jersey Motel Room!”

  3. You liberals will stop at nothing to destroy a strong christian conservative woman, will you?

    I’m sure Carrie and Sarah Palin could have a grand old time comparing briefs on the subject.

    You people are truly pathetic. Go back to your pot and homo loving music, okay? Let real Americans make up their mind based on the facts.

  6. 3: What’s so great is that Carrie Prejean is destroying herself without any help from the evil liberal media. All we have to do is watch and report. It’s wonderful.

  7. And wasn’t this guy her boyfriend of only four days when she made the “ladyfingers” video for him? I know I read that somewhere.

  8. shit.. now i’m starting to like her..but then i have liked crazy since i was a little boy. let me go see who’s on springer..

  11. I am all for exposing hypocritical christian women like Prejean and Palin. The more they fall under media scrutiny the more we know what “real Americans” are all about.

  16. 13: I LOVE fat sluts. If I weren’t married, I’d probably be a fat slut. This is about celebrating the failure of Carrie Prejean. (If Donald Trump was convicted of fraud and went broke, celebrating that fact wouldn’t be the same as making fun of the poor, know what I mean?)

  18. 6
    why would you find the destruction of a human, self induced or otherwise, “So Great!”

  19. @1

    The Gay “Culture” is all about obsession with body image and the superficial.
    You are washed up and thrown out by 30.

  20. 19: It’s not a human that’s being destroyed, it’s a human’s bullshit facade, which she hyped as real and flagrantly attempted to cash in on. I’m sure there will be a very interesting person left standing in the ashes of “Carrie Prejean: Christian Beauty Queen(TM)”.

  24. @16 Bullshit. You’re celebrating the failure of Carrie Prejean by deriving joy from a picture of her that makes her look like a “fat slut” (a negative) instead of “pretty and thin” (a positive).

    Degrading the worth of a woman, or any human being, down to a sexual object by insulting her body size and sexual choices and thus her attractiveness to men, is sexist. Prejean may have done this to herself by participating in a beauty pageant, but perpetuating it makes you a hypocrite as well.

  25. I’ll bet in her own mind she sees herself as a victim, and that in and of itself is pretty terrifying. Her selfishness must be breathtaking to behold up close.

  26. I’m with Max @2. The crazier her antics become, the more I want to see that tape. Needless to say, at this point I really, really want to see that tape.

  29. I hate to say it but for once Loveschild makes an excellent point. Anyone able to corroborate the guys story?

    More importantly, now that we know (according to an unnamed source) she was 20 where’s the tape? That damn thing should be everywhere online by now! If that guy’s for real and she really did make him a bunch of tapes he should be selling that shit! With this debacle that guy should be a millionaire by the time this thing is done.

  32. David, the most treadmill-phobic-no-portion-control-having-fat-blob-of-a-homo is suggesting that a thin woman is fat? That’s rich, real rich. Why don’t put down the fork before you start talking smack like that, you ugly FAT fuck.

  38. @37: What are the chances that Loveschild is an in-house sock puppet for use by the Stranger staff? Could even be Savage’s puppet. Consider, would anyone who professes such dogmatic head-up-the-ass religiosity with a patently obvious dimness really read The Stranger, let alone spend time debating on the Slog?

    That devilishly sly Dan Savage could easily have devised such a nemesis as his Slog foil. He’s wicked smaht!

  40. @40: I once owned a chihuahua named “Skittle” and I’m offended by your “I just want to watch that hypocritical hottie diddle the skittle.” comment.

    BAD DOG!

  41. “Carrie Prejean, you are a national treasure.”

    what, like Mammoth Caves National park?

    spelunking the shame cave on video and all.

  44. ‘You liberals will stop at nothing to destroy a strong christian conservative woman, will you?”

    But aren’t those formidable, rock-solid Christian values we keep hearing about supposed to keep a gal from straying down the path of dating douchey athletes, getting cosmetic surgery, sexting trashy girlie pics to random guys, and trasforming herself into a too-tan peroxide doll who’ll do anything to be on camera in the first place? Aside from all the pretense and the crazy eyes, isn’t she exactly the same as any other sell-out girl on The Dirty? She’s the face of the Young Republican zeitgeist?

    And isn’t her appearance really fair game in her case? Despite her attempts to market herself as an orator or commentator, she is a beauty queen and a glamor model. If that’s the star you hitch to, that’s what you are. If she actually were, say, a satirist or activist who utterly lost her wheels and was outed as a fraud or an Uncle Tom, wouldn’t her phony intellect be up for grabs? Was Anita Bryant’s meltdown of a marriage off limits after she lionized it?

    At this point, I’m convinced she is the human incarnation of the monstrously entitled Disney Princess parody from “Drawn Together,” meaning she’s just as two-dimensional and nowhere near as well-written.

  46. You know? I think she looked better before the pumped-up collagen-injected lips, the lipo, the implants, the bleach, and whatever other plastic work she had done on her face.

    Still probably stupid as all shit, but better looking.

    If the revelation that she made it at 20 is true, the masturbation video is at least officially not child porn. Not that I’d want a copy. Unless maybe she fists herself.

  47. “You look at Sarah Palin and Congresswoman, you know, Michele Bachmann, they are relentlessly, you know, torn down by the liberal media,” Prejean said. “They’re great mothers. They’re brilliant. And yet there’s this double standard that conservative women are fair game to be attacked. And it’s not right. And it needs to stop.”

    The former Miss California USA also said “Sarah Palin is my hero… I really look up to her and admire her for her strength and her courage.”

    if her book duties took her this far off the rails on a crazy train, imagine what those “immense pressures” of a beauty queen would have done to her sorry/loopy ass.

  48. David I don’t think you should have posted that photo. A writer for the Stranger of all publications should have respected the privacy of that image. The woman is a moron and a bigot and offensive in ways I don’t have time to list, but there’s a difference between reporting the facts and intentionally humiliating a person. You’re playing the man not the ball.

  49. Dang it.

    a) Why is this picture posted? So you disagree with her position (I don’t agree with it either), but posting this image is mean spirited and cruel.

    b) That is not a fat woman, that’s the angle of the camera.

    Way to put a downer on a perfectly lovely Blues session.

  50. Schmader, you fucking suck at schadenfreude. Nobody needs more negative body talk and slut-shaming. You just had to go and make it clear that you judge women on the same criteria as the right-wingers who went crazy for Carrie Prejean because she was skinny and virtuous. Asshole.

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