That’s right, you can CERTIFY your virginity. Look! 176 certified virgins so far!
At least it’s nice that some of the proceeds go to AIDS research. Of course it’s probably researching how to stop teh gays from spreading their gay gay cooties.
Certifiable.
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Issued by Saddleback University
nitty gritty – is this just for women or can they “certify” that a man is a virgin? if so, HOW?
“Certify Your Friends”? The possibilities are endless.
@3 Tell me about it, Grant. Look out friends, everybody’s getting certified for Valentine’s Day! WOOT!
@2, the site has photos of men and women, old and young… apparently you just have to “feel” like a virgin or “want to be” a virgin in order to be certified.
They spelled CERTIFIED wrong on their website!
I got shafted. I paid my $1, and all I got was a receipt. There was no certificate.
-Jon Brock
i’m signing up.. i mean umm..i don’t have it anymore..i lost it some time ago, but i’ll sleep better knowing it’s certified.
It’s like Who’s Who for sexphobics
This isn’t really appropriate for me. I need a site that will certify that I am a lousy lay.
Has anyone else noticed the box that says “I know this certificate is for humor purposes only. It does not certify that my friends are real virgins”?
Are you sure this isn’t a joke?
@10,
Can’t Mrs. Fnarf provide some sort of certification?
@11, 12 yes, I think it’s a joke. But it’s not like it couldn’t be real.
@5, Mary, remember, you made me do this with that ” ‘feel’ like a virgin.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKIqGhqMv…
I know what I’m putting in the office gift exchange this Christmas.
@ 10, 12, maybe you two could get together next Slog Happy and then Kesh can do the certifying. I think Mrs. Fnarf might be too prejudiced to make that call.
Most likely inspired by this: http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com
Come on everybody, lets bring the number of certified virgins to 666.
That is a pic of a boy and his fag hag if I ever saw one.
Funny stuff, but I’m leery about giving even one dollar when I don’t really know where it’s going. Someone should step up and take ownership of this clever site. The “part of all proceeds will be going to AIDS research” makes it even worse if we don’t know for sure – I’d probably prefer a link through saying “we hope you love the certificate – we’re going to go buy beer with your money now!”
And the fact that this is a joke makes it even better. It’s a good one.
By the way, the certificate (if you actually get one – see @7) seems to be signed by Woodrow Wilson, who I just found out from Wikipedia had his portrait on the $100,000 Gold Certificate. I guess your virginity is worth $100,000!
one of these could come in handy if you happen to get knocked up by God, you could say:
“See, nobody but the Holy Spirit been up in here…what?”
As a gay male that has never had sex with a female, do I qualify as a “virgin?” If so, then I guess I’ll die a virgin too.
However, if it requires that I have a hymen, well, I lost that years ago.
Any one notice the mega gayface on the boy in the ad?
Don’t worry, your hymen grows back every time you take a bath. I’m sure that’s in the Bible, somewhere.
$50 says neither of the two people in that screengrab are virgins.
I’d rather be a Certified Slut.
Nah, I don’t need to get tested girl… look I’m a certified virgin.
Betcha it’s a dating site.
So, what are the certification exams like? Is there an automatic retest if you fail the first time?
It certified virgin the same thing as confirmed bachelor?
I’m going to frame my certificate and hang it right next to my International Star Registry cert.
it’s cheaper to just check to see if they make the same face those two are making. it’s caused by virginity or douchebaggery, either way, sensible adults should move along.
@Unpaid Intern
Hi John, i am one of the creators. You did not get shafted. If you did not receive your certificate, it is because you receive a confirmation email that provides you with a link to your own personal certified virgin page where you can print it out.
or maybe its because you are not really a virgin… you stud you…
I think that’s her “speculum” face.
Do all certified virgins walk around with big “hey I wanna blow you” open-mouthed smiles (like the ones in the photo)? If so, Imma hafta start /taking/ some virginities – hubba hubba. XD