Courtney Gregoire for Port Commissioner!

Hey, its the port n stuff! The port commissioners, um... they commission this. We think.

Port image via Shutterstock
Hey, it’s the port ‘n’ stuff! The port commissioners, um… they commission this. We think.

Okay, we need to come clean. Nobody knows what port commissioners actually do—besides huff embalming fluid and whine about how sports arenas are bad for freight mobility. Courtney Gregoire is clearly huffing embalming fluids: Even though she’s campaigning on strengthening port jobs, she is simultaneously refusing to support SeaTac’s $15 minimum wage initiative. She dodged the question about the minimum wage initiative three times. Have we mentioned that she’s former governor Chris Gregoire’s daughter? She is! Still, as the former director of the National Export Initiative, Gregoire has some experience with ports. That’s more that we can say for her Havana-humping challenger, socialist John Naubert, who talks about “building a fighting movement” but lacks the experience with or knowledge about ports to convince us he could build a model ship, let alone a movement. Vote Gregoire, because what other choice do you have?

Read all the rest of our fine, embalming-fluid-laced endorsements right here!