You only have two kinds of black tea… and you’re always running out of the one that isn’t Earl Grey with lavender. That’s because Earl Grey with lavender tastes like soap. Please stock more tea that tastes like tea and less tea that tastes like soap. Thank you.

39 replies on “Dear Oddfellows…”

  1. I thought I was brilliant when I made lemon-blueberry muffins with just a touch of lavender one time. They tasted like soap.

  3. Dan didn’t find his favorite flavor of tea. Fascinating stuff.

    Can you also blog about the pastry you had with tea, Dan? It would be equally captivating. I need to know how you feel about your breakfast in its entirety.

  10. Lavender tea only tastes like lavender scented soap. Otherwise it is pretty good stuff.

    Is there a corkage fee for bringing your own bag of tea in?

  15. True Earl Grey tea is flavored with a specific kind of orange and is delicious.

    Lavender is a complete interloper is should justly be shunned. Who thought that up and why call it “Earl Grey”? Soap is the best adjective

    P-tooey….

  17. 1) Americans don’t know the first thing about tea. The number of times I ask for tea and I’m presented with a cup of water that has not been boiled and a wedge of lemon or honey and then gotten a strange look when I’ve asked for hotter water and milk is beyond counting.

    2) Tea made from not-boiling water is flavorless.

    3) Earl Grey tea is wonderful, provided you’re not drinking cheap stuff.

    But I find that really, American attempts to make tea is like American cheese or American cars–a pale imitation of the real thing pedaled to Americans who don’t know better as something worth enjoying.

  19. Maybe you should try going someplace that knows how to make tea, Dan, instead of going to a place that doesn’t, over and over, and expecting it to magically start happening for you.

    Try the Panama Hotel Tea House in the International District sometime. 607 S Main. They’ve got about fifty kinds of black, green, white, and silver tea, all prepared impeccably, and it’s one of the most interesting rooms in the city besides.

  21. @17: I’m not surprised that you got a weird look when you asked for milk with your tea. Only gap-toothed Brits and their unholy spawn drink milk with tea.

  26. @18 for the win. That stuff is disgusting, and I don’t care that it tastes like something else to most everybody else in the world.

  27. Um, did you try calling them or talking to the manager before posting your critique on your blog w/ national readership?

  31. @17 Similarly, I have often been presented with INSTANT COFFEE (or Nescafe) in England when I’ve asked for a coffee, a far worse offense than not being given hot-enough water for your tea. You can at least have tepid water heated up more, but there’s not much you can do to improve the inherent grossness of instant coffee.

  32. It’s funny–really good Earl Grey tea can be SO delicious. But crappy Earl Grey always tastes like soap. I have always pondered the whys of this.

  35. Have you people never been to the lavender festival in Sequim, lavender capital of the world?

    Lazy, lazy Washingtonians, get thee back to California!

  36. Dan…

    Are you a tea drinker???

    I hereby take back and recant every bad thing I’ve ever said about you. You totally and utterly rule.

    @17: It’s a coffee drinkers world. We just get to live in it.

  37. News to Brits: steeping black tea in boiling water brings out all of the bitter, nastiest tasting elements of the tea, and is considered inappropriate and gross everywhere else in the world. Also, adding milk completely negates the beneficial antioxidant properties of the tea, which is why you guys don’t see the same health benefits as other societies which consume large quantities of black tea.
    I’m not trying to say you’re doing it wrong; it’s just that you’re doing it wrong.

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