All I want for Christmas is for Uncle Jonah to stop touching me in my bathing suit area. Also a miniature horse.
Love,
Jennifer
PS Please help me.
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West
Like a college is going to give a scholarship to such an *inept* cheater…
Is the miniature horse really in the note or is it someone’s attempt at humor? If it is the latter it is in the worst taste possible. Nothing is funny about child molestation!
You’re not funny. Really. Way to make fun of children being raped, asshole.
This will cross my mind every time I walk by the little letter-to-santa station in Macy’s now
Molestation is OK because a chick made this post. That’s how it works, 2 and 3. I mean, HELLO.
yeah, it was funny until i followed the link and realized it wasn’t some freakydeaky game Spangenthal-Lee & Graves were playing.
Hidalgo County is one of the poorest counties in the US.
Anybody notice how the accused is named in the article, but not the children, to protect them? Way to selectively protect people’s privacy, AP.
I’m glad Santa was there for the 2 girls. Didn’t seem anyone else was or that they could turn to and trust.
C’mon people, do you for one second actually believe that Lindy West thinks child molestation is funny? I think she wrote the mock letter intending to highlight the sadness and absurdity of a little girl asking Santa to make her uncle stop molesting her.
I have a feeling you’re the same people who are worried that the shoe-throwing campaign at the White house will deprive homeless people of footwear this winter. Waaah waah.
i can’t believe people had the energy to get offended at this post. the depression this post induced knocked all the fight out of me.
Telling real live people – like, say, your mom – that you’re being molested might be slightly more effective than telling Santa Claus. Acknowledging that probably makes me the very most hateful person in the whole entire world, but there you go.
@8,
He’s already been charged, which means his name’s part of the public record.
Reporters only “protect” the accused up to the point when charges are filed.
@11,
Yes, it does, especially when you’re putting that kind of expectation for mature, logical, and sensible behavior on a 9-year-old kid.
telling real live people would also make it real and irrevocable. which is a lot more scary than telling santa.
@12: Depends entirely on the mother.
@ 10: I actually know Lindy quite well and I can tell you she does find child molestation to be very funny. Not as funny as, say, people who un-knowingly transmit the AIDS virus or dolphins dying in fishnets, but it’s up there.
Matt Hickey, you are not helping.
goth dolphins!
sweet!
I totally have wood for a dolphin in torn fishnets and heavy black eye makeup now. THANKS LINDY.
@12: Obviously the most effective way to get the bastard arrested and to get him to stop was actually to write a letter to Santa. That is the really sad part. At least the kid found a way to tell SOMEONE! Thank goodness for Santa!
Nobody seriously thinks that after all these years of molestation, the little girl still believed in Santa… do they? (Do even unmolested children still believe at age 9?) Looks to me like she was too afraid to tell a responsible adult (“I’ll tell them you’re lying and then you’ll be punished” is pretty common, and a parent not believing a child is pretty common too), and too freaked out to, like, go to the school nurse or whomever; so she wrote to “Santa” in school, knowing the teacher would read it and knowing – or at least hoping – that it would get followed up. Good for her.
@12
Unless your mom is pimping you out to molesters.
Heterosexual creep uncles should all be arrested before they can molest and confuse lesbian 9 and 10 year old girls. Obviously these girls are gay. Hopefully some assertive butch social worker will be assigned to their case and will help them find their way.
hopefully
Honest to Pete. Why do so many men *want* to get sexual with children? I mean, what’s sexual about a child? No tits, no ass…I don’t get it. Yet, statistically, it fucking happens a lot.
“the girls’ mother had been unaware of any abuse but that the relative had moved out of the home after an earlier falling out.”
Wake the fuck up and pay attention to your kids. And, if you are going to leave, take them with you.
@26 – it says the RELATIVE moved out.
God, even I’m pretty well offended, and I find most things in bad taste hilarious. This isn’t funny. I don’t even think she thinks child molestation is funny, but how is this even acceptable as a post? Go ahead and make light of it, but to stick it in the format of the letter itself is fucked-up. I don’t blame West for this, she wasn’t trying to make fun of molestation (more often than not, inappropriate jokes are made by people with some of the best intentions), but perhaps next time she should try proof-reading posts like this. This isn’t hilarious, this isn’t funny, this isn’t cool.