FOUND: One large bejeweled cross-on-a-stick*, lying in or near the street at 39th and Stone Way at 10 p.m. last night. Sadly, it does not appear to be solid gold. If you or someone you know is waking with a massive hangover and slowly becoming horrified as you realize your large bejeweled cross-on-a-stick is missing, please leave your story in comments and email your contact info to Almighty Slog. God says He’s willing to forgive you.
* The finder suggested it might be called a crosier, but the dictionary suggests that term is reserved for large sticks-with-crooks-on-the-end, bejeweled or un-.
Does this belong to that guy dressed as a Templar who hangs out on Queen Anne?
I use that to fuck my ass with and I’d like it back right now!!
That’s a processional cross. It’s not a sacred object per se but it does suggest that a local Church was recently burgled. Contacting the police is in order.
A crosier is something else and is the size and shape of a shepherd’s crook.
Yeah, that has to go to the cops. It most likely belongs to a Catholic or Episcopal church.
Does that belong to the guy who is always yelling about how Seattle Police are communist?
Oh, shit. I thought that was a dream, a terrible dream full of running and broken glass and then nothing but black fog until I woke up wearing a torn and bloodstained white robe, my feet sore and my head reverberating with thunder.
If That Ain’t Plastic, expect a Spastic Catholic.
And don’t dress like a fucking templar.
Thats my staff of RA!
if you’re wanting to read a murder-mystery novel where a crime-solving female episcopal priest beats the shit out of a bad guy with one of these (and i’m not saying you are), may I recommend _I Shall Not Want_, by Julia Spencer-Fleming.
@8 Your daughter is hot- I’d totally hit that.
Wait. Don’t give it back.
I want to use it as part of my Halloween costume. Or maybe as a prop for HUMP.
@11
No. No, you don’t. As a former alterboy, you really don’t want to touch that thing.
I vote don’t give it back if it is in fact stolen. Screw those douchebags. If their kind wants to steal gay marriage from California then I don’t believe that there is any obligation to return their silly cross. Besides, I believe the finders keepers, losers weepers rule applies here.
I wonder if this belonged to that guy who was carrying around a 3 foot tall wooden cross yesterday in the U Dist – maybe he dropped it back there before he took the bus to the U?
He said he found a cellphone but didn’t seem to grok how to get them working …
@3 and @4 are correct.
It might belong to a member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. They get pretty serious with their costumes.
14, thats silly. If you were an asshole, and someone stole something from you, and I found it, could I claim it for myself, because I knew you were an asshole? that is silly.
Episcopalians have ordained gays, btw. And Seattle Catholics are pretty progressive when it comes to gays.
@13 – Not all Catholics belong to the California Catholic Conference or approve of their attempts to blackmail Prop 8 detractors, nor do all Catholics support a gay marriage ban for that matter.
Unfortunately the CCC doesn’t seem to have realized that the Church views civil and religious marriage as totally separate entities.
i really hope this story gets a followup.
sorry, i meant 13, not 14.
If you don’t find the owner, I’d love to have it for the Tarts & Vicars party I’m throwing this weekend!