Break out the popcorn: there’s a super-entertaining fight brewing that could completely upend the presidential race, and it couldn’t have happened to two nicer twits.
It started when a rich Jeb Bush supporter (one of the few remaining) bragged about plans to call Donald Trump a bunch of names in a full-page ad in a newspaper. On one hand, this is incredibly childish; but on the other, bless their cold black hearts for financing what’s left of print media.
Donald Trump, the adult embodiment of a lunch-money bully, responded by having his lawyers threaten legal action. But oh, whoops, because of the way it went down, now Bush’s people are urging an investigation into Trump by the FEC.
Mike Fernandez, a billionaire sucker who still thinks Jeb Bush is a sound investment, had planned to call Trump a “hater” in a newspaper ad. Good one, Mike!
Trump’s response came from Alan Garten, who has the dubious honor of representing the Trump Organization. Alan reportedly sent a letter to the Club for Growth (among others) with lots of grandstanding about “legal action” in response. Trump apparently surrounds himself with people who are as intolerable as he is, because the threats from his lawyer are mortifyingly dumb:
“Though we believe your decision is fool hearted” — that is not a saying, Alan — “in the event your ads contain any false, misleading, defamatory, inaccurate or otherwise tortious statements…we will not hesitate to seek immediate legal action to prevent such distribution…and will look forward to doing it.”
This could easily have been written by a YouTube commenter. And get this: Alan apparently sent the threat to the wrong address.
Charlie Spies, who advises Bush supporters, pointed out that some of the recipients are PACs that funnel money but don’t make ads.
In a response, Charlie mocked Alan’s “confusion over the difference between Leadership PACs and Super PACs” and added, “we wish you personally the best in your attempts to learn election law.” Hahahaha. Bush supporters may be poisonous garbage heaps, but it’s nice to see them turning their toxic gaze at Trump instead of the White House.
Oh, and it gets better. According to Charlie, the FEC doesn’t allow corporate lawyers like Alan to meddle in campaigns. Whoops! Now Charlie has filed a complaint with the FEC, which will hopefully step in and strap all parties involved to a rocket that is sent to Mars—problem solved.
