Oh, Microsoft. Why do you make it so, so easy to make fun of you? Is it really that hard to hire marketing people who have a single original or interesting idea? You have a lot of money, don’t you?

This video was posted to YouTube by Brad Slavin. Here’s his description:

The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is an amazing store, the employees seem really excited and engaged, almost happy to be at work. My favorite parts are when people walking in the mall come inside the store, join in the dancing and have some fun. The amazing thing is that people are in the store for hours, they love interacting with the software and learning about new technology.

His website is titled “Subtle Persuasions” and subtitled “Marketing, Persuasion, Technology, Life — Finding Balance.” (Let that settle in for a minute.) He has an unusual number of posts about Microsoft stores and how totally, totally, totally awesome they are. Why, he almost seems like a real person! Not at all like a shill, right? He’s just honestly amazed at how much the employees and customers love this store!

Really, I’m not anti-Microsoft, I’m just anti-crap, and this is complete crap. Somebody help them.

Anthony Hecht is The Stranger's Chief Technology Officer. He owns no monkeys.

48 replies on “Electric FAIL”

  1. Back in the day at MSFT, you may have had to do something that unspeakably douchey, but you could retire at 30, set for life.

    Now you wears the t-shirt…you does the dance…and you’re locked into working till the end of your natural life.

  2. The Electric Slide? For four minutes? For real? Dear lord. This is seriously the saddest thing ever. Do they expect this to be a viral video sensation or something?

  3. I’ve dated a couple of guys who worked/work for Microsoft and let me just say; all of them represent some of the worse pieces of ass and cock I have ever had.

    And I think it shows in this video.

  4. omg, that is PAINful to watch.

    My boss makes me dance like a phony ass puppet half the time, too, so maybe it just hits a little too close to home.

  5. Well said, Anthony. It’s awful–you just want it to end after 20 seconds. But one can go on. The You Tube videos from which this is derived (spontaneous dancing in a London train or tube stations, or in Times Square, e.g.) do convey a sense of ordinary people spontaneously letting their hair down and having real fun, even though they’re every bit as staged. This just looked so pro forma, and the dancers so bored and dull, that it conveyed not a scintilla of excitement or interest. Most of all, though, if you were trying to create a sense of New! Fun! Edgy! More than Apple!, why would you put a gigantic pic of Mt. Rushmore along an entire wall? Wtf?

  6. This bad idea on display is underscored by the ridiculously outdated and hilariously unfashionable jeans that most of the employees are wearing.

  7. This would annoy the living daylights out of me if I were either in the store or wanted to go into the store for some reason. Why do I want to see a bunch of employees who are supposed to be helping customers dropping everything and doing line dances? That isn’t going to entice me to come into the store. It’s going to send me looking for the nearest Apple store, or shopping online.

  8. What?!
    They use a “popular” modern song and dance to it with the antiquated and repetitive Electric Slide?
    A metaphor for Microsoft products and marketing perhaps?

  9. There’s no way I’m going to watch 5 minutes of that stuff, but I’ll say that green-T-shirt-and-jeans woman at the start is pretty hot–maybe she’s the “choreographer”. LOL

  10. I can’t imagine those “people walking in the mall” aren’t all Microsoft employees themselves… This is too terrible. It reminds of some mandatory high school spirit week line dance assembly. Terrible. The customers on the sidelines are like… “Fuck this. I’m going to Apple.”

  11. I believe this is a further effect of Microsoft’s totally out-of-touch campus mentality, which infects every aspect of their world, from the way they dress to their lan security policies. Microsoft seriously believes that the entire world is a high school cafeteria, because that’s the only thing they’ve ever been around. You can no more expect Microsofties to get funky than you can expect New Guinea tribesmen to make chronometers.

  12. On a side note, Brad Slavin kindly links to his LinkedIn profile on his website. It only took him 8 (!!) years and change to get that BA in graphic design from San Diego State.

  13. Dang, @2 for the very early win.

    Actually, one of the band members of this Papua New Guineau electric rock band I knew was a watchmaker ….

  14. @16

    I’m impressed that you watched the video so carefully for at least two minutes and fifteen seconds. I couldn’t help but turn it off at twenty seconds.

  15. Mmmmmm. I used to loves me some Microsoft mices back in the day. For a time, I kind of believed that no matter what, the mouse department over there would never lose the magic.

  16. Still trying to decide if this is better or worse than working at a restaurant where you have to sing “Happy Birthday” to anyone who asks.

    I guess that they can’t have that much to complain about, since they have a job and all.

  17. I’ll bet the shoplift was the point, and that’s what they’re hoping will become viral.

    But, if so? Then total fail. Why would you want millions of people to see this dumb video and associate it with your brand?

  18. @34 Holy shit, you are right! That was so funny! And fully in the beat with the workers, too.

    Dancing on command like this is totally stupid. Dancing the electric slide at a wedding every once in a couple years is fine, but doing this more than that would really kill the joy out of it quickly. Personally, I would love to try to take some sort of solo in the middle of this boring activity. Or maybe steal some shit.

  19. C’mon, had this been a Mac Store, y’all’d be talking about how cool of an idea it was, but that it was obviously not filmed with an iPhone.

  20. OMG, i just read all 40 of the comments above before actually watching a few seconds of it, and it’s actually worse than I even expected! My view of Microsoft is now even lower than it was before!

  21. @38. I actually thought this “spontaneous” dancing to the Black Eyed Peas was kind of cool. But, the electric slide? For four and a half minutes? Boring. Not creative. All publicity is not good publicity in this case.

  22. You guys realize that this and many of the other Microsoft cringeworthy videos you never see on TV, never see on a Microsoft website, but find on YouTube are pretty much always leaked, internal videos – typically produced for product launch parties, internal conferences, and other “Morale” events. Typically they star the actual team members who worked on the product, usually doing something ‘hilarious’ like dancing, lip synching, or celebrating the company’s inner nerd.

    I know this, as to my complete shame I appeared in one, dressed like Elvis. Personally I like to think I looked more like K.D.Lang, but I digress…

    The reason you never see these videos on any sort of Microsoft official communication is that they aren’t official. But then, you know, folks who are in the video mail it to their friends, who mail it to *their* friends, who post it to youtube and then slog and a million other blogs talk about them as if they were for-reals.

    Actually keep it up as pretty sure this’ll lead to a company-wide ban on these nuggets, and I’ll never have to humiliate myself on tape again… well maybe until the next hump.

  23. Man, and then I watched the last two minutes, just to keep an eye on the shoplifter. She was high-fiving the employees at the end! Either we collectively misinterpreted what she was doing, or what a ballsy shoplifter.

  24. WET BLANKET ALERT!

    *sigh* I watched the first two minutes to eagle eye the shoplifter to see what she picked up… only to see her walk in the front door carrying A BAG FROM ANOTHER SHOP. That’s what she puts in her purse. There’s not even a shoplifter in it. LAME!

  25. At the recommendation of a YouTube commenter, I checked out 2:27 for a ‘bice bounce!’

    Bice bounce indeed!

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