A reader writes from Germany:

Hey guy – I am on this journalism list serve and they claim that the Oregonian actually printed this on its cover (initially). Is that right?

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Dunno, but here’s what’s in today’s Oregonian:

The editorial boards of The Oregonian and The Portland Tribune have advice for Portland Mayor Sam Adams, whose new administration is being engulfed in a sex scandal: Resign.

Why?

We don’t believe the public makes much of a distinction when it comes to a man over 40 having sex with either a 17-year-old or an 18-year-old. And it makes no difference if the teenager is male or female – it’s sexual opportunism, pure and simple.

So—it doesn’t matter whether Adams committed a crime, it just matters whether the editors of the Oregonian and the Tribune find his sex life distasteful.

Brend an Kiley has worked as a child actor in New Orleans, as a member of the junior press corps at the 1988 Republican National Convention, and, for one happy April, as a bootlegger’s assistant in Nicaragua....

65 replies on “Everybody Makes Mistakes”

  2. Could someone please explain what role of power Adams had over the young-man? The article in the PI alludes to him being his mentor, but doesn’t say what for.

  4. Perhaps they don’t have a taste for his sex life. Or perhaps it’s…

    He asked one of the city’s leading campaign specialists to coach Breedlove in dealing with the onslaught of impertinent questions. He preached piously about the importance of mentoring young, confused gay men to help them through their identity crises. He derided Ball for falsely employing a vicious anti-gay canard in his effort to force Adams out of the mayor’s race and out of politics. He took care, he claimed, to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. He’d do it all again, Adams proclaimed back then, to defend these virtues. He fairly dripped sanctimony.

    But it was a lie, Adams now admits, cooked up to save his political career […] So now, Portlanders are left with a mayor whose election was built on a lie.

  5. This is just more silly, prurient, puritanical hand wringing over nothing.

    The ‘kid’ was 18, of legal age, was not working for Adams, and was fully capable of making his own decisions as a young adult.

    So many of the comments I see are from women that I read are mothers who are *horrified* that their own offspring might eventually have sex. Or it seems to me from people who have no sex lives of their own, and feel that they must tsk-tsk every time they hear someone else has had a relationship of any kind.

    No one has any right to judge this relationship, except the two people — both consenting adults — involved. Not based on age difference or sexual preference or one’s own religious or other sexual hangups.

  9. Jesus, this story is infuriating. Yeah, it was dumb to lie about the affair, and even dumber to coach the kid to do the same, but it was never anyone’s business to ask. They had no professional relationship. They used “mentoring” as a smokescreen to hide an affair between an older guy with a thing for younger guys, and a younger guy with a thing for older guys. Did you read the article? Did you see the guy Breedlove was dating when this scandal was breaking out? Another guy who’s a lot older than him. Nobody was taken advantage of, and it has nothing to do with Smith’s ability to be a good or a bad mayor. I think the only thing that kind of stinks is the Ruiz hiring.

  10. Paul @1 gets it right. Plus, the guy’s a big, fat liar. If he lied about it, he obviously thinks there’s something wrong with it…why shouldn’t we as well?

    I’m all for being sex-positive, but this isn’t about the homosexuality. It’s about crappy judgement.

  13. uh, fucking a barely legal person (and, I’m not really buying the whole, “we waited until he was 18” story) who is essentially WORKING for you and then lying about it, IS distasteful and doesn’t speak well for the judgement capabilities of an elected official.

  14. For those who have never worked at a daily paper, the reason for that odd headline is to give the press a chance to burn the color plates ahead of time. Newspaper printing presses use four colors: C (cyan), M (magenta), Y (yellow), and K (black). The page designer will send the press this dummy page so the press can make the first three plates (C, M, and Y). The color elements are therefore locked down on the page, and the final plate (K) is sent at the final deadline. It’s pretty common to see PDFs like these, and they cannot correctly be regarded as a “printing error.” They’re really just snapshots of an intermediate step that the public normally doesn’t see.

  16. Paul in Ballard is an ass-aching puritan. The kid was legal, no one forced anything on him. In fact, if he wanted, he could have blown a great big whistle right then, if he thought it was wrong. But he didn’t. That says consensual to me.

    Save your “power and validation” bullshit for your group therapy session. Normal people know how to deal with sex. Maybe someday you’ll learn.

  17. You know, if people in Portland have a problem with Adams just because he had a sexual relationship with a younger man, I don’t agree with that.

    If, however, they have a problem with the knowledge that their new mayor lied and attempted to suppress this information for the sake of political expediency, I think that’s justified.

    Think about what would happen if Nickels did something similar. We would all be up in arms about it and be asking ourselves “if he’s willing to lie about this, what else has he lied about?”

  18. @15: Agreed, but Amy used to work at The Stranger (and she was great). And certainly the career of another former Stranger writer (who was hired to work for Ron Sims) could be an interesting tidbit to help her case.

  19. OMG two consenting adults had sex!!! Off with the older person’s head!!!

    The only thing done wrong here was lying about a perfectly legal relationship. Or should we start regulating May-December, (Wait, 42 is hardly December) er, May-August relationships. What should be the government regulated age difference between adults for them to be allowed to have sex?

  20. I think you can break this philosophical logjam if you admit that Adams was not fully out of the closet.

    Sure, he was out about being gay, but he was not out about his barely-legal relationship. And like a million closet cases before him, he had to build a house of cards, lie upon lie, to stay in the closet.

    I don’t see how you can have Dan Savage faulting Larry Craig for staying in the closet decades after Stonewall without also admitting that Adams should have come all the way out too.

  21. I’m also having a hard time buying the whole “no, really, we waited until he was 18” argument. Sounds like one of those things people say when they get caught fooling around with a 17 year old.

  22. Of course he lied about sex. Everybody lies about sex – especially politicians – because everybody gets so worked up about it.

    The pearl clutching hysteria surrounding these kinds of stories, particularly when they happen in “liberal” enclaves, are beyond me.

    Now the opportunist who never wanted a gay mayor in the first place, will run with this. The sexual neurotics will fall in place behind. Both groups will be composed largely of people professing deep religious faith, but there will also be a smattering of secular types who are opposed to anyone having any fun.

    If I were him, I’d try to soldier through it. It worked for Barney Frank.

  25. RG’s right. And so is Catalina.

    You know, I don’t ever recall asking anyone for ID, although one might be suspicious about it if they couldn’t get into a bar … not when I was 20 (19 in BC to drink) or anytime after that.

  26. @16…

    This is not about Puritanism, homophobia, or whatever personal attack you are going to be throwing at me.

    This is about about expected someone in a public leadership position to act with Character and Integrity and when they are not able to do so that they be held accountable. I don’t know where you stand on this but I certainly hold people in power to that standard.

    If you want to get into the psychology of why and 18 year old is not mature enough to be in a relationship with a 42 year old, I don’t think any amount of time in the world nor argument would be enough to change your mind.

    Does this age gap meet the minimal legal requirements? Sure. Does it make the situation any better? Nope.

    Clearly from the lies and cover-up involved in all of this, this has not been exactly a win win relationship for either of them.

  27. Somehow people keep referring to the mayor’s position of power over some hapless youth. The kid lived and interned in Salem. Not Portland. The statehouse. Not city hall. I’ve no idea how old Breedlove was when they first had sex, nor do I care. The implication that he was somehow unwilling or coerced into this relationship is horseshit. I would have been chasing after Sam whether I was 18 or 80. He’s hot, smart, and showed (one time people, not repeatedly) poor judgment in having a relationship with someone half his age. Hello daddy!

  29. Paul in Ballard, what in your opinion should be the age of consent, since you seem to think 18 is too young?

    Is 18 too young to vote, or too young to join the military?

    Or what should be the government regulated maximum age of partners with which 18 year olds should be allowed to have sex?

    When it comes down to it, we have two consenting adults who had sex. Period.

  30. So its ok to have tons of columns about larry craig, in fact several, calling him out on his hypocrisy and also about Ted Haggard and harping on them non stop for days and now there’s one item in the Slog about the openly gay mayor of Portland having a affair with a barely legal 18 year old and covering it up for political expediency, i,e. winning the election and he (Since he’s part of the GLBT community) gets a pass for it so far????

    Wow, what hypocritical crap…

  31. @22: FTW

    @26: Politicians lie. It’s part and parcel of the job. I like this idea you have of integrity, but I can’t think of a local or national player who hasn’t gone back on their word, misled, or lied about something THAT IS NOT ANYONE’S BUSINESS.

  32. @30: Larry Craig was a hypocrite for having gay sex while passing anti-gay laws. What the mayor of Portland did was morally questionable but not hypocritical.

  33. 30, the harping about Craig and Haggard was about gay men having gay sex while pretending to be straighht, and condemning homosexuality. Do you not see the difference. (Not to mention both Craig and Haggard broke laws, Adams did not.)

    Now if Adams spent the time condemning sex with 18 year olds, as Craig and Haggard did on homosexuality, it would be the same.

    He had sex with another adult. He should not have lied about it, but since gay politicians are held to a higher standard when it comes to their sex lives, he felt pressured to cover it up. That doesn’t make the lying any better, but I can understand why he did it. It would have been better to just say it’s nobody’s business but ours.

  34. The main problem I have with politicians and sex scandals isn’t the sex itself, it’s that the politicians were dumb enough to think they can get away with engaging in acts that many people might find offensive when they’re employed in so high profile of a job.

    You would think that politicians would have the sense to give themselves a basic litmus test, (am I a horndogger?) and if the answer is yes, then they should probably look for other ways of serving the public good.

  35. Rob,

    You seem to be really hung up on it being appropriate the sleep with barley legal teens. Sorry man, just not my thing.

    Where does that stop for you?

    There are plenty of high school seniors who have just turned 18.

    – is it appropriate for the 42 year old fireman responding to a fire alarm okay to start combing the High School looking for a date?

    – How about a military or college recruiter?

    – A teacher at the school, but it’s okay if you don’t actually, you know, have them in your class?

    Would you consider these to be tasteful or distasteful scenarios?

    I let the mayor’s words speak for themselves.

    “”Although my relationship with Beau was legal and consensual, because of my position in the community and because of the difference in our age I also want to acknowledge that it was inappropriate for me to have a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old and I want to apologize for having done so,”

    I agree with the man on this point.

    “Adams also admitted that he never had a true mentoring relationship with the young man. Breedlove asked Adams for advice on being gay in the political arena, but Adams now says that was originally a pretext for meeting.

    “There was no proposition, but I felt there was some interest,” Adams said of their initial meetings. “Part of the lie was to play up the mentoring.””

    Now Rob, I am an adult and I think possibly you are as well. I’d be hard pressed to think that Mr. Adams did not use his power and position, especially as a successful gay politician as a tool on this kid (legally consenting adult). While both may be consenting adults, one certainly used his position and power as a way to influence the other.

    Sorry man, while I have met some bright 18 years old. I have never met one where you could not steer the direction of a conversation.

  36. Paul in Ballard, First off, Since you’re making it personal. I’m generally not attracted to anyone under the age of 35, let alone 18. I wouldn’t categorically rule it out, but I’ve never been in a situation where it was something that appealed to me. Now at 18, I would greatly benefited from such a relationship with an older gay man. I was never unsure about my sexuality, but because I didn’t know how to accept it, I stayed in the closet for way too long. That is something I deeply regret. (Anything else you want to know about my sex life, since you are so curious?)

    18 year olds are adults, even when they are in high school.

    A fireman should be putting out the fire to which he is responding. I would say he shouldn’t try to pick up an 18 year old, OR 42 year old teacher in that scenario, but both are legally adults.

    A military or college recruiter, if attracted to an 18 year old potential recruit, should refer that person to another recruiter if he or she feels that they want to start a relationship with said person, but the 18 year old recruit is still legally an adult.

    A teacher in High School doesn’t know future, if any particular student will be in a class or not. Plus, in the class or not, a teacher can still effect that student’s schooling.

    None of the scenarios you describe are even close to the relationship between Adams and Breedlove, who lived and worked not only in different offices, in different branches of government, but in different cities.

    The mentoring story was the cover story for their relationship, when they were trying to cover it up. That is why they now say they never really had a mentoring relationship. They shouldn’t have lied about, as neither did anything wrong.

  37. @20 and @30 are nuts to be comparing the treatment Smith is getting to the treatment Craig and Haggard got. As others have pointed out, Craig and Haggard were living the lives of straight men and advocating against gay people while they were secretly having gay sex. But furthermore, soliciting sex in a bathroom is illegal, as is paying a prostitute for sex. Having a dalliance with an 18 year old is not illegal, and was never anyone’s business.

  38. “While both may be consenting adults, one certainly used his position and power as a way to influence the other.”

    So what? If we didn’t have people using their position and power as a way to influence others into having sex with them, half of us would not be here right now.

    The key is “influence”: Was the younger person coerced in to sex? No. He was, by all accounts, into it. And the thrill being the object of affection of an older, attractive, successful man was probably a large part of that. It was what Adams had to offer. No harm was done, apparently, to either party – until this story came out.

  39. @37

    You know I put the key point in bold so you wouldn’t miss it. And the thing I put in bold does not say having a dalliance with an 18 year old is illegal, nor does the bolded text say it was anyone’s business. What it says is that being a closet case is the problem.

  40. Catalina, No, I think you are missing the point.

    It comes down to Ethics.

    If you comprehend the meaning of the term, no explanation is needed. If you don’t, no explanation is possible.

  41. So, Paul, since he lied about sex in a puritanical society that is filled with judgmental ninnies, we are supposed to believe that he is completely without ethics?

    That, because of this tryst, the man is completely disqualified him from being an ethical leader?

    Oh, I understand the meaning of ethics all right. You might want to try to wrap your head around the concept though. And, while you’re at it, study up on the history of some of our most truly ethical leaders. You might be surprised.

  42. Catalina,

    My God you are a drama queene.

    We are talking about opinions in Seattle, WA and Portland, OR. Do you seriously consider the school of thought of either of the cities to be those of a “puritanical society”?

    If anything, these are some of the most progressive cities in the world and if you are having your behavior questioned here, it should be a huge indicator that a big line has been crossed.

  45. @39: Dude, your reappropriation of the phrase “closet case” is really getting to me — Wanting the details of your personal life to remain personal is very different than being a closeted self hater…

  46. Paul, it’s Drama Queen, and yes, you’d better believe it.

    And yes, Washington State in particular and the NW in general are rather puritanical when it comes to matters of sexuality – just like the rest of the United States. Granted, it’s very ironic for a region that was supported by prostitution for most of its early years to be so priggish, but there you have it. Look at the laws surrounding strippers and alcohol, for instance. Oregon is a little less uptight, but still – compared to California, we’re more like the Midwest.

    And just who is “questioning my behavior” (other than you, of course)? I expressed an opinion. By expressing an opinion, what “line” have I crossed?

    Talk about drama queens… Take a look in the mirror.

  47. @44: They they are a part of the GLBT community that gets worked up over things that are cred-damaging; they they would prefer that they they see “Lesbians on Eco-Friendly Bikes” and a “Lesbian and Allies March” during Pridefest. They they are also attempting to maintain unfortunate lockstep with the rest of the mainstream Portland press.

    Also, blog post.

  48. Oh, wait a minute. Sorry, Paul I misread your last comment. You know how us drama queens are.

    In relation to:

    “If anything, these are some of the most progressive cities in the world and if you are having your behavior questioned here, it should be a huge indicator that a big line has been crossed.”

    Well, for one, we are not some of the “most progressive cities in the world”. We are some of the most progressive cities in the United States. There’s a big difference.

    The behavior is being questioned by those same puritanical ninnies I referred to above. No law was broken. No official duties compromised. In short, it’s really none of our business, no matter how “gross” some of the more uptight elements of our rather uptight society may find it.

  49. @42 the northwest may be politically progressive but “puritanical ninnies” is exactly how I would describe a great many — perhaps most — of its inhabitants. It is entirely possible to be politically liberal and prudishly uptight. Seattle personifies this. As do many comments in this thread.

  50. Dear Drama queen…

    Actually, the only person question your (Catalina that is) is you.

    The subject at hand deal with Sam Adams “if you are having your behavior questioned here,” refers to the Portland Mayor’s scandal.

    I’m not personalizing anything towards you. Having said that, I’ll pass the mirror back to you, have a look at yourself:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j4wjacJF…

  52. @45

    Whether a person is a self-hater or not is a personal problem. Whether they construct an ever-expanding web of lies to hide the existence of a LTR is a public problem if you are a public official.

    This is what is wrong with DADT. Not that closeted military members are self-hating or whatever, though they might be. The problem is that when you live a lie you have to keep making up new lies to go on top of the old lies. And you can be blackmailed. That is the issue.

    Nobody has a right to ask what you do in private, but most reasonable people think you ought to be open as to who your significant other is. If their very identity is a secret, you have no choice but to start making a house of cards to hide it. That’s all I’m saying.

  54. Thank you, @45. If a politician has a thing for twinks, or getting spanked, or role playing, and doesn’t disclose it during their campaign, I don’t think you can fairly call them a closet case. What should Adams have done? In his first speech announcing his candidacy, should he have “come out of the closet” and said, “And I want you all to know that I’ve had sex with an 18 year old boy. Three times, in these locations, and in these positions. I hope I have your vote!”

  55. @52

    But what does that say about a person who is able to live that life of lies? What do you believe and what do you dismiss as “exaggerated truths”

  56. @54, what should he have done?

    He should have aggressively admitted that he was proud of the relationship.

    ” I was involved with so and so from the period of x date to x date, contrary to what is being asserted, he was of legal age at that time, I find him to be a wonderful person, think the world of him and still have the privilege of calling him a friend”

    next question..

  57. here are some of the reasonable justifications coming from those who think he ought to resign. (please note none of them deal with the statement “he must be forced to resign”. this is not a legal matter, really.)

    1. he lied for political expediency. because of this, one might question his ethical qualities. not that he would lie all the time… but what else would he lie about if he felt the truth might be misunderstood?

    2. he has demonstrated that he made poor choices in the recent past. it might not be illegal, but when voting for someone, they evaluate the entire picture. this doesn’t mean someone has to be a saint. but just like i won’t buy something off craigslist if i don’t trust the person for whatever reason, so too might i not vote for someone if i feel they are making completely legal but poor decisions.

    3. someone who changes their story (from no sex to yes sex, but under 18) might be lying about the under 18 part. this isn’t making up a strange new story, as that was the initial accusation. yes, innocent until proven guilty, but the fact that he started off with a lie does not bode well for him, nor does it instill confidence in those he is now asking to believe him.

    i don’t think he should resign, but i don’t have a horse in this race. were i his gay opponent, perhaps i would feel differently.

    i also think there is some bias because he’s gay behind some people who choose #2 above. it’s difficult to say, though. people love a sex scandal if it’s illegal, legal, gay or straight.

  60. Paul in Ballard: I think you have a very unrealistic view of politicians. I’d love to meet some that meet your standards, but I don’t think they really exist — maybe a Comptroller somewhere or a good-hearted Highway Superintendent — but generally speaking, few politicians are completely honest and even fewer lead lives that everyone in this country would approve of.

    Also, I continue to assert it’s really not anyone’s business.

  61. These attacks on Sam Adams are 100% anti-gay.

    Beau Breedlove was an ADULT. Breedlove worked for the Oregon state legislator in congress and Adams worked at the Portland mayor’s office, 60 miles away. There was no abuse of power. What they did was ok. The reason Sam and Beau mislead was because of reaction just like this.

  62. Problem: When asked, during an election, instead of saying “none of your business” or “Yes, we did. What about it?” He lied. And he asked the young man to lie.
    I’ve been waiting since 1998 for a politician to say “none of your business”. Say it and let the cards fall where they may.
    That’s part of the deal of running for office. If he isn’t ready for this kind of scrutiny, maybe he’s not ready to be mayor.

  63. Amazing to see people, like you, Brendan Kiley, shamelessly hiding behind the issue of a whether or not a crime was committed. Sound familiar? It is ~ it’s the same tactic used by Bush and Cheney for the last 8 years.

    #9, YES, Adams used “mentoring” as a smokescreen. He sure did. Here’s what he said in September 2007 (Blue Oregon, 9/18/07):
    “I told my staff, ‘This is a 17-year-old. Make him feel welcome. Keep an eye on him,’ ” said Adams, 44. “I listened to his story. I tried to offer my own perspective, given my own background. I could’ve just said, ‘This looks bad, so I can’t help you.’ But I wanted to help….. If someone comes to me looking for advice or perspective, I want to be able to offer it. At the same time, I’m very careful. I set boundaries.”

    Not only was it a smokescreen for the affair, he actually exploited the “smear” for his own gain in his campaign. Don’t just read the WW article, read his “Open Letter to Portlanders” from Fall 2007, where he shamelessly exploits the smear as a lead-in to his public service to the issues of gay youth:

    http://www.commissionersam.com/node/2801

    He didn’t just deny something, he boomeranged it to the political bank. Two days ago, I felt a heck of a lot sorrier for him than I do now. HE SHOULD RESIGN.

  64. And why do people keep ridiculously claiming that those calling for Adams to resign are anti-gay? Have you forgotten that an overwhelming majority of us just voted him in to be our mayor? Who are you kidding? Are are you just not thinking?

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