a6ee/1237223770-jeep.jpgOnly in a Jeep what.
Only in a Jeep what?
Only in a Jeep WHAAAT!?

Only in a Jeep can you grow 14 gross chin hairs?
Only in a Jeep can you wear your midlife crisis bandana?
Only in a Jeep can you hide from the children who cruelly make fun of your jaundice?

Apparently you can buy this stupid thing here, and “Only in a Jeep” is some sort of “famous” “catchphrase”:

Only in a Jeep. This popular Jeep tire cover features the Jeep Smiley Face guy, wearing his stubble and his American Flag bandana. Underneath him, it says Only in a Jeep.

YOU CAN’T JUST SAY ONLY IN A JEEP. ONLY IN A JEEP WHAT.

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

32 replies on “Explain yourself, Jeep!”

  5. @2-there is a jeep that parks in the parking garage at my work, but they back in to their spot so you can read that saying “It’s a jeep thing…” across their front windshield. I want to burn it.

  8. I used to think Jeeps were cool and would be fun to drive, especially in the summer.

    Then I drove one. It was like riding on the back of a drunken camel.

  13. It is the tragedy of the American male. The stubble represents his wish that he was fourteen days out in the high country pulverizing wildflowers and shooting at things; the bandana represents the patriotism of fear, and his favorite song, “Born in the U! S! A!”. The jeep itself represents military order and American freedom, which mostly exists in the narrowest confines imaginable. The wheel cover is the expression of a man who is forever emotionally eight years old. He works as a middle manager for a cell phone company but in his heart he is a warrior.

  16. only in a jeep can you get in my way of my ford explorer for 20-30 miles going down steven’s pass in a blizzard.

    I CAN’T ROLL THAT SLOW!

  18. The jeep actually represents the burgeoning middle class of educated former soldiers, and the $1 a day CEOs who fought for America, instead of their own personal greed.

    Plus, makes for quick getaways to the beach with your duffel in the back and can haul two surf boards easily.

  21. Only in a Jeep can you get all your shit ripped off from a locked vehicle without any of the windows being broken. That’s what you get for using doors that zip as security.

  22. Will, I don’t understand your “save gas” statement. Jeeps all get terrible gas mileage, worse than most comparable SUVs. The Wrangler pictured gets 19 MPG highway. You’ve often bragged about the gas-mileage miracles you achieve; is it possible that in reality you are just another stupid, gas-guzzling moron?

  24. It’s funnier when you see it on completely un-Jeeply Jeeps like the Compass or the Patriot, which are just Dodge Calibers with silly bodies.

  25. You ever driven in a real Hummer, Fnarf, not the H3 hybrid?

    Next thing you’ll start arguing with me about the gas mileage (hint it’s not gas) for military tanks …

  27. Ya got me there, Will, I’ve never driven in a REAL HUMMER, or even a fake Hummer, or any kind of Hummer at all. Nope, never even sat in the seat of one. Not like you. I guess I’m not a REAL MAN. Not like you.

    Funny, when I see a wheel cover like that one, Will in Seattle is EXACTLY the kind of person who comes to mind. Someone who thinks that fetishizing military vehicles for city street use is going to make up for his pudge and general uselessness.

    But feel free to tell us all about military tanks. I won’t interrupt, I promise — I don’t have a thing to say about them. I don’t exactly understand why you DO, but hey, everybody should have a hobby.

  30. @13 etc. Wow. Fnarf, I never ever get tired of reading your comments. Honestly. And the use of punctuation makes me happy! (“Born in the U! S! A!”)

  32. Only in a Jeep is the catchphrase that WE understand. And non-Jeepers don’t. And that’s okay with us.

    You have your fun. We have ours.

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