Fact 2: Decrying Valentine’s Day as “mean to singles” is like decrying Mothers Day and Fathers Day as mean to infertile couples.

Fact 3: Valentine’s Day is stupid, and should be ignored by everyone, though things like yesterday’s marriage-law signing make this year’s stupid Valentine’s Day extra special.

Fact 4: I will take any opportunity to post videos of Dolly Parton on Slog, and will now use the combination of the death of Whitney Houston and the Official Holiday of Love to share this video of Whitney’s signature hit performed by its writer (who can make you cry without hitting notes that set off car alarms).

(And if you prefer your love songs to be more “I’m in love!” than mourning a loss, go here.)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...