More Stupid Zombie Shit: “Everybody knows there are zombies, sometimes hundreds of them, in Fremont. What would happen if the crowd spilled east of Stone Way one of these days, and we were attacked by them? How do we protect ourselves? Would rubbing garlic all over ourselves do any good?” These idiotic questions—Jesus fuck, people, let the zombies die and move on to literally any other fantasy—will be answered Saturday at 10:00 a.m. at the Wallingford Walk, “How to Survive a Zombie Attack.”
In Actual Threats: Several Beacon Hill residents have spotted coyotes in their backyards. Hide your pets! Hide your kids! Hide your nonexistent zombies! And read the Department of Fish & Wildlife page on “Living with Wildlife.”
Aimless Youth! The president of the North Central Little League has retired, and the league is without leadership! The league is looking for a new president. Could you be the one for the job? No Catholic priests allowed.
Zombies are OVER!
I like this intern.
Zombies are the new vampire … eventually another monster will become the fad.
“Jesus fuck, people, let the zombies die and move on to literally any other fantasy”
Zombie Walk – Unicorn Trot.
I LAY DIBSES
If you’ve ever sat in a 4-hour staff meeting, then you understand the fascination with zombies. Just look around the room.
@4: I kind of thought the My Little Bronies fad was going to be the new zombie.
@6: I wasn’t aware that Bronies actually cosplayed.
I mean, it’s mostly a channer/Reddit thing, right? Guh.
@7: Good point. Let’s hope it stays there.
I for one have been building up my resistance to Zombie Attack thru constant exposure to Zombies by living in Fremont.
It’s like a resistance to an odorless poison that makes Princesses weep.
First I disliked clowns as a child and then really, mimes weren’t far behind. Then pirates and “talking like a pirate” crap took over and I wasn’t fond of that either. Cabbage Patch Dolls are in there somewhere too. Zombies are in the same classification as clowns, mimes and pirates. Irritating idiocy.
@10: Perhaps we should have a monkey cheese pirate ninja robot zombie-walk, where every past-its-prime meme gets a representative (then take a steamroller to all participants.)
I predict that “zombie” expands and expands in its connotations until it just means “monster”.
Zombies are the new pirate in that both are affectations adopted by those utterly devoid of personality.
I don’t know what the successor to the Zombie thing is but I not only liked it before it was cool, I stopped liking it and got over it before anybody else knew what it was.
Now you’re all just terribly late to the monster party that hasn’t happened yet, lol.
Yeah, if apocalypse fantasies got old, the Christian religion would’ve died out a long ass time ago. Sorry, zombies are here to stay. Especially if they’re Jewish.
An interesting take on why zombies are popular: http://www.danbirlew.com/why-are-zombies…
Zombies have entered the consciousness of a generation as a pop culture paradigm. They are just as likely to disappear as any other major generational disorder, like racism, red panic, insatiable consumerism, hostile divorce, or The Eagles.
@13 – Me love you long time.