- These are Charles.
Let’s face it. Everybody likes reading interviews, but nobody (me) likes coming up with interview questions! FAQ You is a new series in which I ask hilarious comedians to tackle Frequently Asked Questions that I find on the internet. This week I asked local sketch comedy duo Charles to address concerns about the famous Nad’s hair-removal gel. Enjoy.
What is the Nad’s Natural Gel made from?
Seventeen of nature’s most astringent and corrosive plant extracts are combined into a boiling vat of weasel urine, the product is cooked down to a thick paste while old Andrew Dice Clay albums are played at 400 decibels, ensuring every batch of the Nad’s Natural Gel is infused with the utmost abrasiveness.
Where do I start?
Begin with the least hairy parts of your body (bottom of your foot, interior of your mouth, pyloric valve, etc.) These should prove relatively easy locations from which to remove hair.
What are the sticks for?
After you have applied the gel to your body, apply the gel to one of the sticks. When the stick has completely dissolved, it is time to apply more gel to your body. You’ll notice that all 64 of the sticks are different sizes; pick the size stick that you think best approximates your skin’s durability.
What is so different about the Nad’s Gel?
The Nad’s Side Effects™. The Nad’s Gel is the only gel that can cause permanent taxonomic class reassignment (e.g. Mammalia to Amphibia, Amphibia to Hydrozoa).
The gel is thick and hard to spread – is this normal?
This is not normal. It should be much thicker and impossible to spread. The gel removes hair by the same process that glaciers smooth bedrock to glassy veneer. This is why we recommend you leave the gel on for at least a year.
Why was none of my hair removed?
Nad’s Natural Gel is neither a magical, nor psychoactive product. Simply purchasing the gel is insufficient, you must also apply it to your body. If you have already done that, it is possible you are experiencing a special case of phantom limb syndrome.
What do I do if I accidentally get the wax in a place where I do not want to remove hair?
Our gel is designed specifically for individuals who strive for sleek, hairless, perfection. If there are hairs on your body you wish not to remove, perhaps you should consider purchasing a different product.
I developed a rash, what went wrong?
It sounds like there may be a leak in your hermetically sealed sterile isolation chamber. Remember, the Nad’s Gel decimates the body’s immune system. This means that until the molting phase is complete, even the slightest rash can prove fatal.
Local sketch comedy duo Charles’s current show, “The Ace of Bass,” which is pronounced exactly as it’s spelled, plays at the Satori Loft on Saturday and Sunday, July 30 and 31, and at the Ballard Underground on Friday and Saturday, August 5 and 6. I wrote about it in Chuckletown here. Tickets here.
I’m confused. Why would Mudede have insight on hair removal technologies?
One of Charles here. I just wanted to add that this was a really fun interview, Lindy. Usually we don’t get to talk about our craft in this much depth.