This detail in the reports about the seven other sex tapes and 30 additional “salacious” photos—so many youthful mistakes!—kind of makes me feel bad for Carrie Prejean…

Some of the new sexy photographs that have been unearthed Prejean allegedly took herself, of her own reflection in a mirror, alternately topless and completely naked.

Carrie Prejean is young, beautiful and not very bright. And she wasn’t politically active until she gave a convoluted and inaccurate answer to a question about same-sex marriage at the Miss USA pageant. Here’s the answer that launched a hundred billion blog post. From her response it’s clear that Prejean believed same-sex marriage was already legal in all 50 states:

“I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what, in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Carrie thought it was great that Americans were free to choose between same-sex and opposite marriage—we’re not, of course, but she thought we were—but she personally believed that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I can live with that. In fact that’s all gay people really want. Gay people should be free to marry and other people should be free to believe that our same-sex marriages are wrong because their religion forbids it or because that’s how they were raised or because they just think it’s icky. Just because same-sex marriage is legal doesn’t mean that everyone is required to approve. Interracial marriage is legal despite the disapproval of some; inter-faith marriage is legal despite the strong and sometimes violent disapproval of most religious traditions; divorce is legal despite the disapproval of Jesus Christ himself and despite being forbidden by the Roman Catholic Church. Gay people want the same deal interracial couples, inter-faith couples, and divorced-and-remarried couples all have now: our marriages should be legal even if some people disapprove.

Anyway, back to Prejean: I thought Perez Hilton went too far when he labeled Prejean a bitch for her response to his question. But I quickly came around to Perez’s position—she is bitch—after Prejean leapt into bed with Maggie Gallagher and the National Organization for Marriage. (Did you know that Gallagher had a child out of wedlock? And that she’s currently in an inter-faith marriage?) It seemed like a transparent effort on Prejean’s part to cash in, to parlay her loss at the Miss USA pageant into a career as a spokesmodel for the religious right. Prejean’s sudden passion for anti-gay politicking seemed insincere and opportunistic—she hadn’t been publicly religious, politically active, or rabidly homophobic until after the pageant—and that’s why she drew the scorn of mean-spirited bloggers everywhere.

And now we have proof that the person Prejean pretended to be after that pageant—the good Christian girl with a strong moral code who was chosen by God to stick it to the homos—doesn’t jibe with the person she was before the pageant, i.e. a highly sexual and sexually active young woman with breast implants and a string of ex-boyfriends to her name. Carrie Prejean was not the very model of modern right-wing Christian conservatism that she pretended to be to ingratiate herself with the likes of Maggie Gallagher. She was an average young American woman, a little prettier and dimmer than most, with sexual urges and desires and agency. She was just another young woman aware of her own erotic power, a young woman with a digital camera, another young woman sexting her boyfriend because it turned her on to turn him on.

This aspect of Prejean’s life—her ownership, control and delight in her own sexuality—is newsworthy because Prejean was working to deny others the same ownership and control over their sexualities. Prejean endorsed discrimination against others based on sexual expression and that invited scrutiny of her own sexual expression. Prejean wasn’t exposed as a “hobby pornographer,” as Dave put it, because she believes that same-sex marriage is wrong; the woman who replaced Prejean as Miss California also opposes same-sex marriage and no one has pried into her private life. (I can’t even recall her name.) Prejean was exposed because the only justification she was able to give for her opposition to equal rights for gays and lesbians was her good Christian upbringing (her parents had an ugly divorce), the way her Christian values shaped her worldview, and her moral superiority. None of that stood up to scrutiny.

And now the gig is up: Carrie’s new friends—her hater friends—are dropping her and scrubbing her from their websites. Her book tour ended before it began and the only thing anyone is going to remember about her book is that Prejean—with all her sex tapes and dirty pictures—condemned pornography and urged young women not to show too much skin.

And honestly—now that this is all over—I feel kind of sorry for Prejean. She thought she was being attacked by All Gays and Lesbians Everywhere (AGLE) after one gay dude, Perez Hilton, called her name. And then Maggie and NOM and the conservative Christian movement offered her a chance to get back at the homos and make herself a huge pile of money in the process. The praised her, advised her, and pretended to be her friends. All she had to do was play the martyr and tell her story. But when her real story got out—when those pictures and videos got out—Maggie and NOM and her new friends dropped her. Perez abused her, Maggie used her, and now she’s done.

65 replies on “Feeling Sorry for Carrie Prejean”

  1. I, too, feel a bit sorry for her at times. Sorry that she was living an internal life that didn’t match her external image. Still, I’ve never seen an interview where she wasn’t rude, condescending, and full of herself. I don’t care if she makes money off of all this. I just hope she’s free of her own falsehoods now, and she’ll keep her beliefs to herself in the future.

  2. Thanks, Dan, for pointing out the stupidity of Prejean’s answer during the pageant. The Christian right love to crow about how she lost the Miss Whatever title because she “spoke out in support of her Christian beliefs,” but forget that her answer was stupid and wrong.

  3. And she’s pretty typical for Orange County: pretty (maybe), blond (definitely), a Fox News-watching airhead who sees no dichotomy in keeping with the Relgious Right’s special brand of Fascism while flashing cleavage and coin slot even before lunch (not to mention 4 PM).

  5. She was an average young American women, a little prettier and dimmer than most, with sexual urges and desires and agency.

    I generally try to make sure that the sentence in which I call someone else stupid doesn’t have any grammatical or spelling errors in it. And yet, it seems karmically destined to happen. So you have my sympathies on that one.

    As far as the rest of it, something I noticed during the Bush years and found interesting is that conservative Christians actually don’t have a problem with people being fuck-ups; in fact, they actually seem to get pissed off at the suggestion that they might. What they have a problem with is people being fuck-ups and a) denying it and b) being demonstrably insincere in their current commitment to Christianity. So basically, if an axe-murderer admits that he’s an axe-murderer and says he’s accepted Jesus into his heart and he’ll never do it again, most CCs are okay with that. If he relapses and kills someone, admits he had a relapse, but says he’s back with Jesus and he’ll never do it again, they’re still okay with that. But if someone gets him on tape talking about what saps the CCs are for believing him, it’s all over.

    I gather that CCs are reading Prejean’s behavior as a version of that last thing. And probably rightly so. But it’s still interesting to me that CCs basically have no morals outside their religion.

  8. I just like that she thinks “it’s great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage.”

    I, too, am glad no one is forcing me to marry some dude. I like having that choice.

  9. The true traditionalists of true traditional marriage are the silent majority, as we’ve seen in every state where gay partnership rights were put up to vote. Carrie realized she could not stand in her old life any more and took a moral and holy route. NOM is too weak to stand up for true traditional marriage and should be disbanded. Maggie Gallagher is in a non-traditional marriage and should be shamed, as should Brian Brown the closeted homosexualist “leader” of this sham of a farce of an organization.

    Carrie should be sainted for taking fire from the fakes and phonies in the homosexualist camp and from the practitioners of interracial “marriage” like Maggie Gallagher.

    We’re with you, Carrie. All the way. Hopefully one day you’ll find another fair-skinned, blond haired, blue-eyed perfect specimen of holy purity to help you advance the agenda of the pure-blooded inheritors of God’s graces.

  13. Well said. I can’t say I feel too sorry, however; she may have never considered that it could happen to her, but children’s tales and young adult fiction and movies are full of characters who try to be something they’re not and ultimately get into trouble because of it. She was exposed to that lesson and didn’t take it to heart, and being 20 and dumb isn’t any excuse or reason to feel sorry.

  14. @ 6 : how is Dan’s post sexist? I thought it was completely reasonable and made clear several times that the problem with Prejean isn’t her looks, her sexuality, her religious beliefs, or her penchant for home-made porn, but her hypocrisy.

    Elaborate, please.

  15. LOL TRU OGZ NEVAH GO BACK DAN SAVAGE U A FLIPFLOPPER WIF BAD HAIRCUT BAD WRITING BAD IDEALS/IDEAS?.

    TRU OGZ PRESERVE FOR OG NESS AND POSTERITY THEIR RITE OR WRONGNESS. U R A COVER UP. U R CENSORSHIP. U R BEEG LAME FISH IN POND OF UNKNOWN SIZE. HURD U SYNDICATED IN MINNY, PHILLY, ETX. CUTE, BUT I WISH U WULD RITE BOOK. TAKE TIME OFF (FOR FAMILY???) OR MEBBBZ FOR FUN! WHO KNAWS NUTT MY JOB TO DO UR JOB BUT THEN AGIN SUMONE GOTTA DO IT.

    RECAP – U FLIPFLOPPER, U IDJIT, U CAN’T TOUCH MISS.

  16. oh, she’s not done. she’s not. she’ll marry a rich dood, spit out about 4 kids and teach them all her good, christian values. god bless america.

  17. I don’t necessarily feel sorry for her… I pity her… not sure if that’s really just saying the same thing?

    She made a fool of herself, but she was too naive to realize it. That’s why I pity her. If something like this happened to someone less ignorant and more malicious (like Ann Coulter, for example), I wouldn’t feel pity, I’d feel justice.

  18. I think this post is spot on, or rather, g spot on.

    Anyone who goes up for a beauty pageant like that should have known the risks of being in the public eye. And she should have known her exes would come out of the woodwork with damning evidence.

    The problem is that as a beauty queen in training, she was more than likely taught to go for the easy answers, never thinking through the consequences of her actions, never taught anything but how to win a beauty contest.

    The real tragedy is the degradation of women in beauty contests. Carrie was probably taught how to parade and wave before she was taught how to read. Hopefully hers will become a cautionary tale for thinking young women, instead of an inspirational one for bigoted tiara junkies.

  19. “Carrie thought it was great that Americans were free to choose between same-sex and opposite marriage.”

    I took that to mean that she thought it was great to live in a country where SHE could choose for YOU whether you get the right to marry or not. Not that you just have the option of either.

  22. Good analysis, Dan, but I still don’t feel bad for her. I feel liberal glee when people like these are exposed, even if it seems like nothing changes.

  24. God, Dan- you’re dumber than Carrie.

    “From her response it’s clear that Prejean believed same-sex marriage was already legal in all 50 states:”

    Do you know what Perez asked?
    In his question Hilton stated that Vermont had recently become the 4th state to legalize gay marriage and asked if the other states should follow suit.
    There are more than 4 states in the union, Dan.

    Carrie thinks it’s great that Americans get to choose.
    As most of them have, in their states’ referendums.
    Some of them, Californians like Carrie, twice.
    Carrie thinks it’s great that they get to choose instead of having some judge force his opoinion on the entire state or nation.
    Cause we live in a republic.
    Not a HomoTheocratic dictatorship.
    Of course, in all 30 states where Americans have gotten to choose they have chosen to make homosexual marriage illegal.
    Maybe that’s what has you flustered, Dan.

  26. @24: Except in Washington State, where folks have decided that they approve of advancing an incremental approach to marriage equality.

    You know, the “everything but marriage” law
    that Ed Murray has said is part of an incremental approach
    Whose end result is full marriage
    that Larry Stickney said was part of an incremental approach
    Whose end result is full marriage
    In a referendum that both Murray and Stickney said the same thing
    that this is the last
    big push and that marriage would come quickly

    It’s very convenient that you
    Or carrie
    Forget this little thing
    Because you hate reality AND freedom

  29. @3, this “atypical” OC native (brunette, non-airhead) is always embarrassed to be represented by the Prejeans of the world.

    It’s just a matter of time before her videos and pics are available. It’s hard to feel too sorry for a hypocrite, because she did it to herself. Of course, expecting a 20 year old to really know much about life is kind of ridiculous–I’m glad my 20 year old self doesn’t have to stand up to this kind of scrutiny!

  30. 26
    you realize that when they say “everything but marriage” that means it’s not marriage, don’t you?

    and carrie didn’t forget, because the vote was a few weeks ago and the question from perez was way before that.

  31. Oops, my edit didn’t take..I meant “didn’t have to stand up to this kind of scrutiny.” I’m well past 20 now (thank God!), and know better than to make an ass of myself publicly.

  33. @31: JunieGirl, I’m sure that your “20 year old self” was a far wiser person than the one being discussed. I say that based on the quality of your posts, since you come across as an intelligent and caring person.

  34. Considering she is currently being offered millions of dollars just to sign a release form (essentially getting paid for the softcore porn that she has already made,) I guess I’d say I feel about as sorry for her as I do for anybody who is rich and famous without displaying any particular talent or skill. I suppose it’s a shame that she has to face so much public humiliation, but on the other hand she’ll probably never have to work a real job, so in terms of the humiliation factor she still comes out ahead.

  35. @30: you do realize that this is an incremental approach

    and that everyone knows it
    even carrie
    because all opinions are congruent
    regardless of when they were issued
    like how 30 states banned gay marriage
    which applies to washington state
    because they banned gay marriage
    by voting to approve all the rights of marriage
    which isn’t marriage
    even though ed murray and stickney warned it’s the last stop before marriage
    and that voting to approve R-71 was a de facto vote to approve marriage equality
    since everyone knows it’s part of a process to legalize marriage equality

    I like how you think
    it makes sense
    if you choose your reality wisely

  36. She could make a great name of herself if she “saw the light” and realized that she has made more mistakes than just the sex tapes.

    Her mistake being not understanding Democracy and equal rights for all, even if you don’t agree with them. That’s the underlying foundation of our country: “with liberty and justic for all”.

    Maybe that could be here saving grace. After all, her sister is liberal. Her mom is a divorced mom who had to go back into the closet (photos of her have appeared in magazine when she was at “girl night” at Hunter’s in Palm Springs.)

  37. I can’t feel sorry for her since (as indicated by her answer at the beauty pageant) she obviously never had a strong opinion on gay marriage until she became the right ring’s media darling. She probably never had a strong opinion on anything until she thought she could become famous and make tons of money by joining the Christian fundamentalist movement.

    I cannot respect someone that so shallow.

    Now, if only there was a Palin sex tape out there somewhere!

  39. 35
    you DO realize that when they say “everything but marriage” that means it’s not marriage, don’t you?
    and that ‘de facto’ doesn’t mean what you think it does?

  40. Regarding the sexism argument:

    Is it sexism to pity a woman for their naivete when they’re publicly ridiculed? Most of us had the same reaction to Monica Lewinsky; we ridiculed her and pitied her at the same time. Or Anna Nicole Smith (nod to you, @ScrewYouRusty). I know lots of people who pity Sarah Palin for “getting in over her head” – she clearly didn’t anticipate the negative consequences of anything she said.

    We don’t seem to have the same reaction to Levi – and isn’t he doing the exact same thing to his future as Carrie Prejean? Did we ever feel sorry for Joe the Plumber after he jumped in the spotlight at the first opportunity? Is it because we think male idiots will be able to recover without the same stigma, or because we give them more responsibility for being public jackasses in the first place?

    I don’t have any answers, would love responses. And, for the record, this is said by someone who would absolutely, absolutely love a Palin/Prejean ticket in 2012. It would be the most hilarious election cycle ever. My philosophy is that if you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.

  41. I feel equally sorry for the bloggers who have spent months following this woman’s every move and word, all for nothing. And the bloggers who blogged about the bloggers following her every move and word. As well, I pity the television and print media who wasted time covering the bloggers who followed her every move and word, and those who blogged about that. And finally, my heart goes out to the bloggers who blogged about the TV and print coverage of the bloggers and those who blogged about them.

    I’m just happy that, finally, finally, someone has blogged about feeling sorry for Prejean and I could express that I was also sorry for those blogging and reporting on this and each other.

    I’m also just a wee bit sad for myself and my own role here.

  43. She could end up as Rush Limbaugh’s 4th wife or something. Yes she is a bit old for him, but it could happen. She has to stay in the money somehow.

  45. @33, thanks for the kind words, but I WAS pretty stupid at 20. I had plenty of school-smarts, but my real-life-smarts were fairly non-existent. I’m proud of how much I’ve learned and grown in the following 20+ years, because I think I’m a lot more fun now that I know better!

    But I guess if I had to rank my 20 year old self against Ms. Prejean, I was definitely better off back then than she is now. Not that that’s hard to accomplish….

  46. 39
    you should not be bothered by inconvenient
    facts like the reason for this approach
    because it is easier to scream that this is marriage
    before the vote
    then scream it is not marriage after the vote

    maybe you know something we don’t regarding murray’s plans
    but everyone else was sure this was a last stop before marriage
    unless both sides were wrong

    most domestic partnerships will become marriages
    in under 5 years
    maine and california are not good gauges
    nor is your word
    because didn’t you say we would lose?

    us girls is cryin’

  47. Come to think of it, yeah, her answer to the gay question was overblown. everything that happened afterward she walked right into and asked for, dumb as all hell to think her implants and sex tapes wouldn’t be exposed

  48. don’t feel the slightest bit sorry for her…she was greedy AND stupid AND mean-spirited. She’s getting what she deserved.

  49. @3 She is from San Diego and lives in El Cajon (a suburb of San Diego. She is not from Orange County and does not live here. Though Your assesment of the power-base here in Orange County is correct, there are exceptions. I’m pretty, blonde and dispise the right-wing. We also have a huge hispanic and asian community.

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