I never knew my life was lacking until I discovered GameChurch.com—the Christian site for gamers that combines video game reviews (Shadows of the Damned: “A bizarre yet fun game from hell”) and Bibles riddled with video game and science fiction references.

The online church is coming to Seattle this weekend for Pax, the largest video game conference in the US. Which means tomorrow night while all you heathens are drinking the devil’s juice and rubbing up against each other like horny matchsticks, books editor Paul Constant and I will be in video game church, discussing things like:

How do we know God exists? Isn’t God for the weak-minded?

The belief in God’s existence is a reasonable assumption based on evidence. If one were to concede that the Big Bang occurred, that accounts for all physical matter. However, the existence of “time” cannot be accounted for without the existence of something that transcends time. If time doesn’t “start” and has always been, we are left with the problem of an infinite past. Imagine counting from negative infinity to 0. It can’t be done because you couldn’t start. Using the same reasoning, the existence of an infinite past makes it impossible to be in the present. The fact that the present exists provides evidence for “something”/God to have started/created time.

And:

How does God decide who goes to heaven?

This might be strange, but think of an exclusive nightclub. It’s nearly impossible to get into, and security is tight, so there’s no sneaking in. Even your badass suit and aviator sunglasses won’t do you any good. But if the bouncer knows who you are, it becomes a lot easier to get into the party.

Obviously that’s not a picture perfect metaphor for heaven, but it’s an interesting perspective to think about. When you get to the front of the line, you’ll get one of two responses. If you know Jesus and he knows you, he will say, “Come on in! Join the party!” But if he doesn’t know you, he’ll say what any bouncer would say – “Who are you? I don’t know you.”

It’s not about wearing the best clothes, or being the most buttoned up or presentable, it’s about knowing the bouncer. Plain and simple.

I have a feeling we’re not leaving tomorrow until someone blows the bouncer. (PRAISE HIM!)

Former Stranger news writer Cienna Madrid has been a writer in residence for Richard Hugo House, a local literary nonprofit. There, she taught fiction classes and wrote 4/5 of a book about a death-row...

16 replies on “Finally: A Church for Video Game Nerds”

  1. Time = change. Change = perception. We make time exist. We and everything else that notices change and thus the passing of time. There is no time in a void.

  2. Yay, more well-meaning people trying to rationalize the irrational, and making themselves look silly.

    Either you feel the existance or presence of “god” or you don’t. You can’t reason or rationalize belief into existence.

  3. “The fact that the present exists provides evidence for “something”/God to have started/created time.”

    The fact that this argument exists provides evidence that this is the same old shit, new wrapper.

  4. Oh for fuck’s sake. Here’s a thought: talk to a few physicists and read a book before you go out in public and embarrass yourself with your moronic ideas about how time can’t exist without God.

  5. “If time doesn’t “start” and has always been, we are left with the problem of an infinite past.”

    it’s a problem because the church says it’s a problem. but it’s cool! the church knows the answer, so it all works out.

  6. I wonder what the GameChurch thinks about the Shin Megami Tensei series.

    Shit, I wonder what mainstream American media thinks about the Shin Megami Tensei series. I’m honestly surprised they’ve never gone after it.

  7. Unh, God, I couldn’t bear to actually talk to these idiots, but could someone point out to them that if they would read their own frigging book, they would know it’s not about knowing the bouncer, it’s about the bouncer knowing them. In that parable about separating the sheep from the goats, Jesus quite clearly states that some of the people he lets in will not recognize him and be quite surprised that he, a stranger, recognizes them, and that he will have to explain to them then, at Judgment, that they are being let in based on their good deeds.
    Their own frigging book…

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