Jalopnik reports on some of the larger trucks on display at the Chicago Auto Show, including the full photo of this behemoth from Ford…

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…which Jalopnik determines is the perfect zombie-fighting vehicle. How did Ford ever go nearly bankrupt? They’re clearly producing the cars that America needs for these greener, cheaper times.

17 replies on “Finger on the Pulse”

  2. this guy doesn’t know shit about fighting zombies. if you try to run over even a small crowd of zombies your just going to smash up your fancy looking giant truck and wind up dragging around a bunch of dead weight, literally. what are you gonna do, get out and scrape all the corpses from your wheel wells? speed and maneuverability are more valuable than size. you drive that thing around and you’ll eventually get caught up in a large crowd of zombies, they’ll tip you over with the shear inertia of their numbers and you’ll soon be lunch.

  3. This is just a technology demonstration. The F650 is a commercial truck for use by utility companies or dump trucks, for example. And, technically this XUV, http://www.autoblog.com/2009/02/12/chica…, isn’t actually made by Ford, but rather by Alton, main.altonco.com, a custom chassis manufacturer. The F650 was never built for use as a passenger vehicle in the sense of an SUV. With amax GVW of 29,000lbs it would be insane overkill for anything but serious commercial work.

  8. If I had to drive through a giant crowd of angry, hungry, unemployed Slog comment zombies in order to reach food or safety or 70 virgins, I suppose I would choose that truckcerotops over say, a fixie.

    Plus it looks like it was designed by Michael Bay. Who, incidentally, turns 44 today.

  10. @3
    Funny, that is the same thing they said about Hummers before every asshole right-wing idiot was driving one.

  11. @10

    I’m just defending the technology’s true purpose. Big vehicles aren’t bad, it’s the assholes who market them as consumer vehicles and the fools who buy them that I have the problem with. So, Alton is a company that I don’t much like, however they are a tiny coachbuilder so there isn’t much to worry about as they only survive on rich people and custom business applications. Ford stopped making the Excursion, based on the 650’s little brother the 350, a few years back and I don’t see them building a replacement any time soon, if ever.

  12. The implication here is that those smart japanese companies are in the black and sitting pretty because they made super green cars.

    Actually, no. Toyota and Nissan both make gas gulping vehicles that provided most of their profit margin. They’re laying off and cutting costs too (including canceling a Prius plant in North america). Toyota may not be at death’s door like GM, but they’re all suffering because people have stopped buying vehicles all around. Toyotas merely in better shape because their SUVS and luxury cars were more popular than GMs. Not because they made a $100 profit per car on selling 175k Priuses last year.

  13. No @9, I mean the Avalanche featured in the gallery when you follow the link and click “Head back to our list of the Apocalypse Vehicles Of The Chicago Auto Show” underneath. This one. Thanks for playing.

  15. The best vehicle for escaping a zombie outbreak is a bicycle. It’s easy to maneuver, nearly silent, simple to maintain, and doesn’t need gas.

    For mopping up an urban zombie infestation, the best truck to use is a small pickup like a Ranger. Keep a spare gas can in the back, mount two chairs or a bench with seatbelts in the bed, put on a gun rack, and strap a bicycle or two to the roof. A brush guard would be a good add-on, too; you don’t want to run over too many zombies or you’ll mess up the chassis.

  16. If you would read anything abotu what you are commenting on (I know, I know, that’s not really in the style of The Stranger’s staff), you would know that Ford is doing far better than GM/Chrysler. Seriously, sometimes you guys are such douchbags…

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