All the usual stuff that can’t be ignored: arms and legs, friends and family, my man and our dog.

But my feature selection of gratitude is the work of someone I don’t know at all—Steve Kardynal, who, with the help of wigs, Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” and a bunch of unsuspecting Chatrouletters, created this inexhaustible and enormously popular three-minute masterwork. It is my Love Actually. I watch it at least once a year and am healed.

For those who might need ’em: the basic facts of Chatroulette. (I am also grateful for Wikipedia.)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...