All three of my credit cards—my VISA/ATM/debit card from my giant terrible bank, another credit card from that same giant terrible bank, and a third credit card from a completely different giant terrible bank—were fraudulated last night/this morning. The cards are all still in my possession (and two of them have not been used in a long time). This is very unsettling. Does it have something to do with this? Am I inside Have I been ejected from The Matrix?* Can I borrow $20?

*Per Paul Constant: “Not to TMI you to death, but inside The Matrix, Keanu Reeves could do all sorts of neat kung fu computer tricks, and outside The Matrix, he was a pasty, weak victim who was preyed on by evil computers.” So, The Matrix, let me back in, I guess!

18 replies on “Fraudulated!”

  5. My guess is that you use the same password everywhere, someone obtained it, and used it to get your other information. Change your passwords, especially for your email accounts.

  7. Take this the opportunity to move your damn money, please! Every second you keep your business with big banks you’re helping to support those tax cheating, middle class destroying fuckers. Wasn’t “Inside Job” required viewing for Stranger staff?

    *And note to Paul, outside the Matrix, Neo also had the inexplicable power to stop robots with his mind, which was fucking Deus Ex Machina bullshit.

  8. @7
    Not really since as the 6th version of “The One” Neo represents a whole new step in the nature of reality and brings about peace between the machines and Man. He is Jesus Fucking Christ.

    Making Trinity cum using PIV in the missionary position –now that’s some Deus Ex Machina bullshit.

  10. @8 “a whole new step in the nature of reality” is spiritual mumbo jumbo and tells me exactly jackshit about how a human is supposed to be able to control robots with their mind. He would have had to have some way to communicate with them in the real world, and the next step in the nature of reality didn’t put a radio transmitter in his head.

  11. Hackers steal entire databases now. There’s a long list of things that could have happened, all equally scary.

    1. Some retailer you’ve used was hacked, and every credit card they’ve used in the last, something like 5-10 years is at risk.
    2. Someone has gone through your, or everyone’s trash and/or taken pictures of everything you/anyone else around you has done with plastic cards.
    3. All your bank’s database was hacked, this seems less likely cause it happened to all 3, but it’s not out of the bounds of probability, they didn’t design the system to protect against these kinds of attacks. Attacking all the banks at the same time, after spending years mining data, is exactly the kind of bomb hackers drop to shift blame. While investigates try to figure out just one of the culprits, everyone else gets away. It’s very impressive. 😀

  12. You know it, considering how this targeted every card you own, you may want to look closer to home.

    I have a crazy ex who decided that cutting off my money supply would be the ideal way to get me to come crawling back. And he happened to have access to a lot of personal information because we’d been living together.

    So he called up the banks and reported all of my cards as stolen. And they were all shut off. I got on the phone and argued and begged and pleaded (and most of all pointed out that I was the cardholder, they’d verified my identity and I had all of my cards in my possession and had never reported any of them missing). All to no avail. I had to use cash and (shudder) checks until replacements arrived.

  13. That sucks about your cards – I’m glad you are keeping a close eye on them though! I’ve gotten e-mails from 7 different places about the hacking (a couple credit cards, a couple store cards, and some travel related stuff) and am now checking daily to see if my accounts are OK.

    Good luck with getting it all straightened out quickly!

  15. I know, I know—credit union—keep meaning to. Thanks for the credit watch tip, emma’s bee; Paul told me to do that too, and I’ve called Transunion.

    The creepy thing about all of this is that I don’t do any online banking, don’t have the same passwords for anything, don’t throw out mail with account numbers on it… none of the stuff y’all have suggested. I don’t even do much online shopping (though I bought one thing from Amazon recently for the first time in years, and some shoes from Zappos—am I being punished by the bricks-and-mortar gods?).

    It does seem like the only way someone could get all this info is COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! However, my roommate just doesn’t seem like the type…

    I remain unsettled, but thanks, everybody!

  16. I have been the victim of fraud. My bank and card carriers were very sympathetic and quick to restore lost funds and gave me some good advice. Do not shop online or do any online banking via unsecured wifi. That means don’t check your account in coffee shops and don’t buy tickets to shows there either. Never use an ATM in a small business if possible, especialy if they are “swipe” type machines. The safer machines require you to insert your card. If possible always take out cash from an ATM attached to a bank.

  17. @10
    Fine but where you’re drawing the line on suspending your disbelief is arbitrary. What about the obviously wrong story Morpheus tells in the first movie? There’s something that logically is impossible even if you accept all the sci fi and supernatural aspects (like The Oracle). It wouldn’t matter that a long time ago there was a man who could reshape The Matrix as he saw fit and that he was the “first of us.” You just watched a whole procedure for getting someone unplugged and there’s no way for anyone to conceivably do that by themselves.

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