Slog tipper Cheryl directs us to this charming article about one woman’s foray into going topless in New York, which is totally legal there:

To be able to walk around New York City all careless and fancy free like that, breasts unfettered, the cool breeze rushing across your chest…it all seemed so wonderful, yet unattainable. I would never have the gall to do that, I thought. Social conventions being what they are, there’s no way I could possibly carry that off without attracting an incredible amount of unwanted attention, making people mad, scarring children for life, potentially getting harassed by the cops, etc. Why, oh why, can’t I just air my tits out like it ain’t no thang? STUPID AMERICA.

And then I was like, well, why the hell not? What’s the point of having toplessness be legal in New York City if you can’t taste of its sweet nectars? Social mores don’t just change overnight; someone has to go first and make it look like fun, and then, with any luck, the rest will follow, and someday it becomes normal, right? In the name of being the change I want to see (as well as anecdotal sociology), I decided to swallow my fears and hang out topless in Central Park Sunday afternoon.

Without giving too much away, the crux of people’s negative reactions to her social experiment seem to be, “Think of the children!” (Because no child has ever seen a breast up close before.)

It’s illegal for Police officers can cite* Seattle women for exposing their nipples in public. And as a lady, there are legitimate reasons to be wary of going topless—hygiene issues, unwanted harassment, increased risk of nipple cancer (maybe it’s a thing!), etc. Still, to feel the wind between your breasts! The freedom of choice!

So I ask you, sloggers:

*A few people who love being naked en masse and have done so in Fremont that one time are now frothing at my “illegal” word choice, saying that there’s nothing on the books that specifically prohibits nudity. This is true. However, there is also no law that states “women shall be allowed to let their boobeths flyeth, etc**” and there are varying statutes that leave citation up to SPD discretion. So, basically, you can be hassled by police if you’re naked and someone complains or there are children about or an officer decides, for whatever reason, that you’ve been “acting obscenely.” Wow! You’re right, guys! That’s totally comforting!

**There is a pro-breastfeeding clause in some statute I read somewhere, but that isn’t at issue here.

Former Stranger news writer Cienna Madrid has been a writer in residence for Richard Hugo House, a local literary nonprofit. There, she taught fiction classes and wrote 4/5 of a book about a death-row...

102 replies on “Free-Flapping Boobs: Yay or Nay?”

  1. Our prohibition against topless women has always struck me as analogous to women being forced to wear burqas. And it is ridiculous considering a breast is the first thing a child sees.

  6. As an adult gay man, I have no interest whatsoever in breasts. But it has always struck me as bizarre that it is perfectly acceptable for guys to walk around shirtless, but not women. There is no logical valid reason for this to be so.

  7. It’s legal here in Denver, too. Which doesn’t mean I’ve ever seen so much as one woman do it. All things considered, that’s probably for the best.

  9. It’s also legal in Austin.

    Seattle, for all of its progressive values, is really full of pearl-clutching prudes when it comes to sex. That’s one reason why the kink underground is so strong here.

  13. Allowed? Of course! BUT… just like for men, being urban and shirtless puts you in a special class of weirdo like people who wear camo, ride mountain bikes on the sidewalk, and comb their hair on the train.

  14. Yes, it should be legal for women to be out in public with waffles on their breasts. Also pancakes and french toast, but not pop-tarts because they are disgusting.

  15. I’ll say yes, but let me just murmur quietly that it’s usually the people you least want to see naked or semi-naked that actually get naked or semi-naked in public – unless they’re being paid to take it off, of course.

  16. Women should be allowed to do anything that a men can do.

    It’s ridiculous to think that seeing breasts are harmful to anyone, especially children. Seriously, it’s the fucking source of life, the nutrient dense milk that comes from women’s breasts is the fucking reason we’re all here! God, this issue pisses me off.

    Cienna, you should definitely be allowed to walk around topless, and not just cuz you’re super cute…lol! Sorry Cienna, I hope that wasn’t creepy. But because it’s silly that ya cant. OMG! A nipple! It hurts, don’t look at it! But it’s totally cool to play video games where you can rob and kill, because obviously, violence is much less harmful than the human body in it’s natural form.

    However, there are a lot of people I wish would wear more clothes, so I’m not necessarily looking forward to seeing everyone naked.

  18. @11, I was thinking of going topless on the bus or sitting on public benches topless. It just sounds like an efficient way to catch ringworm or something.

    @12, yes.

    @16, thank you! You are not a creeper, Joe.

  19. I have this theory on why women can’t go topless and men can’t go bottomless. It’s all about the “dangle factor.”

    The more a part dangles and jiggles the more it attracts attention from the unconscious mind. Like a fishing lure.

    After the invention of clothes humans convinced themselves they had, more or less, this kind of symmetry of form and reinforced the Judeo-Christian notion of being made in god’s perfect image. And every time they got naked they got reminded of all these oddly shaped pokey bits hanging out which then destroy this shared delusional self image.

    That and people are afraid dogs, kitties, and turtles will come and attack their balls.

    I’m still working out the details on this theory.

  20. it’s usually the people you least want to see naked or semi-naked that actually get naked or semi-naked in public

    Yeah, like dudes.

  22. As a gay man for the record i must register a giant “Ewww”.

    But there is no logical reason not to let the titties fly, so go for it, i’ll get over my squeamishness.

  25. Look if adults want to be a little bit on the wild side fine, I always thought it was silly that the GOP wants more arrests and charges for obscene materials, but at the same time I feel one can go too far in the other direction which I feel this is. There has to be a sense of decorum in public places, where yes there are kids. We don’t let kids look at porn do we, or at least we try to put regulations in place. So that my two cents, but since this place is filled with people very much to the left, I expect to be flamed for this, so flame away.

  27. According to the women in my life, they get plenty of unwanted attention walking around fully clothed.

    Men are really visual creatures, to an extent that I really don’t think most (most!) women fully understand. So while *nothing* excuses threatening or harassing behavior, please don’t let the girls out and think we aren’t going to take a good, hard look at them.

    But in any case, it is completely absurd for toplessness to be a police matter.

  28. @19,

    Your theory doesn’t take other cultures’ attitudes about nudity into account. In many parts of sub-Saharan Africa, for example, no one bats an eye if a woman goes topless, but exposing the knees (or, God forbid, any flesh above the knee) is verboten. This is true even in some African Muslim communities.

    @17,

    Then I guess it should remain illegal because creepy assholes have a knack for ruining everything for everybody.

  29. 9/kitschnsync: Seattle, for all of its progressive values, is really full of pearl-clutching prudes when it comes to sex.

    I’d agree but not just with sex. Seattle is prudish when it comes to alcohol too. At our annual music & arts festival, Bumbershoot, for example, drinkers are confined in pens (er, I mean “beer gardens.”) In contrast, when I was at ACL years ago, I discovered that drinkers were treated as adults and could go wherever they wanted with a drink in hand.

    Remarkably, Seattle does allow one bit of very public nudity, during the solstice parade at our Fremont (a neighborhood) Fair when a large contingent of naked (although most with body paint) bicyclists kick off the parade. Cops hassled them a few times in the past but quit and now the numbers seem larger every year.

  32. So what? I see plenty of people of any gender that look gross enough with their clothes on, they’re not going to look that much worse without their clothing.

    I don’t care if kids see genitals that aren’t their own in a nonsexualized manner. Big whoop.

  33. Why stop at the boobs? In Portland full nudity is legal, and some Portlanders do from time to time exercise that right.

  34. @25 – Who says I restrict children’s access to porn? I don’t give them porn, mostly because I’m not in charge of their wellbeing, but by the same rule, I don’t really give a toss if my nephew sees a boob or a penis or whatever. He’ll be fine.

  35. It would take years, if not decades, for it to become normal in this society to see topless women on the street. While it’s a silly sort of morality, it’s still the one that most of our neighbors share. Sadly, many common sense advances need to be handled slowly and carefully, because it’s usually better to minimize the inevitable backlash.

  36. @35: “It would take years, if not decades, for it to become normal in this society to see topless women on the street.”

    Miami operates topless beaches and a fully nude public beach. Miami is a part of “this society”.

    Beaches aren’t generally located in the center of the country.

  37. In the street, though, how do you think it’ll normalize?

    “many common sense advances need to be handled slowly and carefully, because it’s usually better to minimize the inevitable backlash.”

    Specious reasoning, considering the act harms no one.

  38. Um, It is already legal for women to be topless in public in Seattle.

    In fact, it is not against the law to be naked in public in Seattle.

    That is why we have two World Naked Bike Rides every year (a day and a night), the solstice parade and a contingent of naked bicyclists as part of the Gay Pride Parade. I should know, since I’ve rode in about ten naked bike rides since moving here in 2005.

    It’s a shame that people don’t exercise their rights, even when they have them.

    For more information on top freedom, go to http://www.tera.ca

    Also, the World Naked Bike Ride Seattle is occurring on July 9th if you’re interested.

  39. Well, it’s not like you’re going to see bare-chested people of either gender in the lobby of The Olympic Hotel or the neighborhood QFC or any business that doesn’t want That Sort Of Thing.

    Although I did once see a naked lady in the lobby of the Westin, but I think she had mental problems.

    In any event, ten months out of the year it’s too cold to be running around Seattle in your naked strip. You could grow mildew on your naughty parts.

  40. @35

    In most countries in Europe, people walk around naked in public all the time, at parks and at beaches and at some public pools.

    My girlfriend just got back from Munich, where she sunbathed naked in a public park.

    So, are you saying that Germans are just better people than Americans? That they are smarter than us and that they don’t go beserk when they see a female areola?

  43. 38, while there may be no specific law in Seattle banning nudity or female toplessness, this website, Nudity and the Law in Washington State says…

    Municipalities may also prosecute simple nudity under various ‘disorderly conduct’ ordinances. For example, this is Seattle’s Disorderly Conduct ordinance (partial, relevant part): SMC 12A.12.010 Disorderly conduct.

    A. A person is guilty of disorderly conduct if he or she intentionally, maliciously and unreasonably disrupts any assembly or meeting of persons and refuses or intentionally fails to cease such activity when ordered to do so by a police officer or by a person in charge of the assembly or meeting.

    While nudity is not mentioned, note that if you are told by a police office to put your clothes on and you refuse, you can (and probably will) be cited for disorderly conduct, at the minimum.

  44. 41: Seriously, we need a critical mass type of gathering

    Are you familiar with Spencer Tunick? He’s an American photographer who has gotten thousands of people to pose nude at one time. Here’s an article (with a small photo and a link to other photos) about his 2003 shoot in Barcelona.

  46. @40: “So, are you saying that Germans are just better people than Americans? That they are smarter than us and that they don’t go beserk when they see a female areola?”

    People that think we should never make waves because society is “getting better slowly” are fools. There’s no teleological end that we’re “naturally” going to reach. Cultural “inertia” isn’t as strong of a force, and we have to constantly push the barrier so we don’t revert to what the conservative forces want us to become (the mythical 1950s-era society where everyone “knew their place”.)

  47. @38, I know women who’ve been cited for indecent exposure for sunbathing topless in parks. And then there’s this on SPD’s website (granted, it’s from 2008).

    http://spdblotter.seattle.gov/2008/11/14…

    I’m sure cops judge on a case-by-case basis; just as jaywalking is illegal, not everyone is cited for it. And I’m sure that at mass events like Pride and Solstice, cops have a prerogative not to cite people (it would mostly be a horrible PR mess for them). But in any case, it’s not as cut-and-dry as you’re making it out to be. Cops can make you put your clothes back on.

  48. I want the right to play my bongo in public, shirtless and barefoot.

    j/k. Well, about the shirtless and bongo part, anyway. Funny how being barefoot is rapidly gaining acceptance if you’re running a 10K or something, but people freak the fuck out if you pop into the grocery store on a Saturday morning for a loaf of bread without your shoes on.

    (FYI, in spite of all the silly signs, you’re not breaking any laws, spreading disease, or creating liability problems.)

  49. boobies, a congresspersons junk, gay marriage… all in the empire state?

    what’s next? that crazy thing called reason and understanding all across this land…. OMG!?!?

    WHA, WHA WHAT?

Comments are closed.