My Dear Friends,
Greetings from the Lake of Fire! I don’t know if anyone is reading this, and my connection is really bad (they still use dial-up down here, LOL), but the afterlife has broadened my perspective and I wanted to reach out.
Firstly, I was wrong about Catholicism. You know who was right? The freaking Mormons! Which means freaking South Park was right about the Mormons being right! Just this morning, I saw Gandhi getting kick-fucked by demons while Louis Brandeis and Laura Ingalls Wilder did some crazy diarrhea-vomit analingus 69 thing on a mountain of knives. Meanwhile, no sign of Brigham Young or Joseph Smith anywhere! It seems I was wrong about a great many things…