Glennbeckjoker.png

Slog Tipper Wild Bill says:

“anyone seen this yet? Brilliant!”

This is a parody/satire website dedicated to exploring the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990. They are offering a 200 dollar reward for anyone who can prove that no girls were raped and murdered by Glenn Beck in 1990. Current polls show that 84% of everyone who took this online poll believe that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990. They are using the same probing journalistic skills to explore the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990 that Glenn Beck himself used to explore topics like President Obama’s birth certificate and health care death panels and the fact that Obama is going to douse the middle class of America with gasoline and then light us all on fire.

The parodic investigation is getting indepth:

Guys, this is getting kind of scary. I just did another Lexis-Nexis search, and there is not one record of the statement “Glenn Beck did not rape and murder a girl today” in all of the records for 1990. It is possible, then, that he raped and killed as many as 365 1/4 girls in 1990. We’re through the looking glass here folks.

Indeed, Mister Anonymous Online Commenter. Indeed.

(Above image of Glenn Beck as the Joker is from the parody/satire blog Did Glenn Beck Cover-Up a Rape/Homicide in 1990 blog.)

91 replies on “Glenn Beckwatch: A New Website Emerges”

  2. Minute man, look at it this way: If I’m in a room alone, I have the freedom to fart, scratch myself, jack off, pick my nose, etc.

    As more and more people enter that room, I still have that “freedom”, but I look like a real asshole if I decide to engage in it.

    That’s a lot like the way the world is: In the ultimate sense, we’re all in the same “room”, and believe it or not, we all have to figure out a way to get along. We’re not “surrendering” freedoms – we’re working together as a society to have a good common life. If you would pay attention to real life, you’d realize that a lot of the things you cite: smoking bans, gun laws, etc, come out of a public desire to limit undesirable behavior in the public square.

    If you want to be a paranoid sociopath, fine. But don’t try to paint yourself as some sort of patriot, because you’re not.

    And I’ll pass on September 12th, thank you. Cheap publicity stunts that depend on the stupid and the self-obsessed just aren’t my thing.

  4. I am a conservatiave and I watch Glen Beck’s show all the time. I really dont think Glen Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990, but I fear that it is true. I mean, I don’t THINK he did it, but I FEAR it is true. Know what I mean? It’s subtle.

  5. @44:
    While I agree with you in principle, I think the right wing’s hangups about sex pretty much require that Beck’s (alleged) crime must have involved rape somewhere along the line.

  6. I just have to ask… is there any group, in the history of crazy right-wing conspiracy theories, where the reality has been so utterly disconnected from perception as it is with ACORN? Jesus. What is it with you people and ACORN?

  13. Glenn Beck’s family has a history of taking their own lives. Now I’m not saying I want him to do the same BUT certianly we should take that into account with any website that starts rumors about him.

    Just sayin’ there’s a history there of mental illness….. *ahem*

  14. @50 spews:

    The Stimulus Bill is giving over 5 Billion Dollars to start up an Army of Civilians (Acorn, Youth Org etc) to help build up this country other than the US Military.

    OMG!!! Civil Service??? Building up the country rather than tearing it apart? Teaching kids the value of service and responsibility? Working to improve the lives of the poor and under-served?

    OBVIOUSLY Obama = Hitler. How could we have been so blind.

  15. This is not satire, this is proof that our president is a RACIST, who fears white people. Right Glenn? I sure hope he didn’t rape and murder that girl, but he has yet to deny it publicly or show us the police report so….

  17. @42 In February, he predicted that by 2014 all banks would be nationalized, unemployment would be at 12% and the DOW would be trading at 2800

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8wA8TovX…

    Whoops. He wasn’t “predicting” it, just making sure to “prepare us for the worst” so we could all stock up on ammo. I am not predicting that Glenn Beck will be found guilty by a jury of his peers for this heinous crime, but I hope he is preparing for the worst in case he is.

  18. @50: “Freedoms that will take 52% of our pay checks in taxes” – So we’ll have the marginal tax rate equal to when Reagan was president? Isn’t that ok? I mean, REAGAN WAS THE BEST PRESIDENT EVAH, RIGHT?

    Also, that is totally a BS number.

  20. Attack the messenger!!!

    The worst thing about betrayal is that those most deeply in love are the last to know…
    concider the president’s stand on
    *gay rights
    *indeterminate detention without charges,
    *Afganistan militarization…still no Osama as promised,
    *CIA
    *Black Panther prosecutions
    stayed tuned kool aide drinkers more 180s to come

  22. This rumor has assumed a life of its own. There is a tragic snowball affect. All he has to do is step forward and do the manly thing. Refute the rumor once and for all. PROVE it is not true.

    America is a forgiving nation, Glenn. Why is it celebrities always wait until the damage caused by their silence cannot be undone?

  23. @52, when you say “beware conrade,” are you warning your comrades or perhaps my cousin Conrad? I’ll be sure to pass on the message.

    True, it’s disgusting to joke about a rape-murder. But I sure had fun posting on that website.

  24. We have yet to hear glen beck deny these accusations. Why has he not denied these accusations? Please, would some of you beckbots please explain that? Can you not accept the fact that your messiah beck is holding back information by not answering this. All he has to do is prove these charges false. Yet he does not. Just start to think for yourselves, please, for once. And glen, produce the proof, show us the police report, the full, long form where you did not. That is all glen beck has to do to put this to rest. Yet he does not. Why?

  25. mr. beck did not – DID NOT – savagely rape and murder a 9 year old little girl in 1990. his DNA will prove it, and this scandal will go away. we are WITH you mr. beck! don’t get discouraged. i know you didn’t do it – because you are a very good christian.

  26. @75 I agree!! Glen, oh saintly one, just provide your DNA to be compared against all rape/murders in 1990 and we will all know that this was a crazy left wing fantatic stunt. Lets get back to uncovering the insanity of 32 Czars (well, appointed officials who have been called “Czars” since Nixon coined the phrase to make it easier to understand complicated titles), Death Panels (well, making sure any public health plan gives you the opportunity to discuss your end of life choices with your doctor) and Obama’s REAL birthplace (another birth certificate has shown up, THIS ONE must be real . . . right?).

  27. I read on a website where it said we might never know the truth as after the “alleged” Rape and or Murder, Mr Beck, or in truth I can’t prove it wasn’t some other white haired pundit at Fox News, ate the person and the genitals were so mutilated they couldn’t tell if it was a male or female. The website said it didn’t actually believe Mr. Beck was capable of such a thing, but had a hard time disproving the rumor. As such they were waiting for Mr. Beck to produce truth of his innocence or the bloody dental floss. Which ever the case may be. I know that this of course is ridiculous as who keeps dental floss for over 10 years.

  28. Your supposed understanding of slander doesn’t provide protection in the case, or even because you simply couldn’t get your own NAMBLA site registered. Good luck on hiding on this one. I hope he hires the right people so your noticeable futures become just as interesting as you think your satire extends.

  29. He (allegedly) got my dog too. But killed first then raped, allegedly. He never allegedly apologized or denied killing and raping my dog. Some family values patriot he turned out to be! And now we hear he teabagged his high school gym teacher allegedly.
    And where is his birth certificate? How do we know he isn’t a german nazi or russian communist or albanian? How do we know he isn’t a Shiite? HE HAS NEVER DENIED BEING ANY OF THESE, SO THEREFORE WE BETTER ASSUME HE IS UNTIL HE SPECIFICALLY SPEAKS UP. Not to mention him allegedly being the brains behind ACORN. And didn’t he help out the unibomber allegedly?
    LETS TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK! COUNTRY FIRST! ONE NATION UNDER GOD! STOP GLENN BECK BEFORE HE MAKES US REGISTER OUR ASSAULT WEAPONS AND TAKES AWAY OUR SHOTGUNS! GLENN BECK WANTS OUR WHITE WOMEN! GLENN BECK STARTED SWINE FLU! GLENN BECK INTENTIONALLY CONTRACTED SYPHILIS AND AIDS AND PASSED IT ON TO OUR TROOPS IN HARMS WAY! GLENN BECK SOLD THE SECRETS OF THE ATOM BOMB TO IRAN AND NORTH KOREA! GLENN BECK PUT ANTHRAX IN POSTAL ENVELOPES! GLENN BECK FARTED IN THE ELEVATOR AND PRETENDED HIS SECRETARY DID IT!

  30. Beck is not stupid. He’s a super rich charlatan. He knows how to push stupid people’s buttons and appeal to their base instincts. The people who believe in him are ignorant of the fact that they are getting played. They’re too proud to admit it. The idiot demagraphic has always been easy pickins. TV preachers, snake oil salesmen, blowhard political pundits, and conspiracy theory booksellers are eternally cashing in on the gullible.

  31. The point, to me, is that Glenn Beck is a sick and dangerous man who hurts other people…and has no conscious or sense of his self and his actions. I’m not an expert, but that might be anti-social, socio-pathic behavior by definition. He obviously hasn’t gotten the message from the sponsor boycott, so perhaps this will be the “thing” that makes him hit the reset button. I guess it goes to prove…what goes around, comes around…all the bad karma, lies and hurt he has put out into the universe must be grouping somewhere for a big splat back on him…maybe this is it?

  32. By the way, Mount Vernon’s Washington mayor, Glenn Beck’s “home town” has decided, to give Glenn the keys to the city on 9/26/09. I’m embarrassed for the mayor and the town and will make every effort to not spend a cent in that town. I support the boycott of anything to do with furthering Glenn Beck’s tenure on the airwaves. To consider this man a worthy role model for success is a sad day indeed. The mayor’s address?
    mvmayor@mountvernonwa.gov
    should you wish to express an opinion.

  33. #40 Posted: “I don’t care for the idea of joking about a girl being raped and murdered. Why are you so sadistic? Where has common decency gone? Why don’t you make up a rumor about something else? People with sick minds like yours make the world shitty.”

    That’s really the whole point. What Glenn Beck is doing – except that it is not done as parody, is sadistic, lacking common decency, and is making the world shitty with his sick mind.

    The people who fail to see the point being made have the same problem that the Beck followers have – they are unable to separate fact from fiction.

  34. What I can’t figure out is why Glenn Beck spent an hour gloating on the badness of the ACORN and the prostitution thing yesterday…and yet, one of HIS program sponsors is a certain company that sells “escort services” when “divorce is not an option” (I’m sure you know who I mean)….now, maybe that’s a religious escort service that helps people find comfort outside the marriage, but I….don’t think….so. In addition to being a “crazy” dangerous person, he’s also a hypocrite…know that’s no surprise…but, there, I feel better now (LOL)

  36. So far I’ve seen no proof that Glenn Beck did not rape and murder a young girl in 1990. All I’ve seen is evidence that he it may have been possible for him to do so. The evidence.

    Glenn Beck raging on a disagreeable woman on his radio program…..and, calling for killing people with a shovel

    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/9…

    If he is able to rage so quickly in public what evil hate and rage is he capable of in private?
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    And some quotes to quantify Glenn Beck’s state of mind in 1990….Interview given by Glenn Beck in 2007 discussing his past..

    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,514…

    Actual Quotes from Glenn Beck:
    “I was the one you didn’t want to go out with your daughter but you didn’t know it.” (page 3)

    “I was a monster,” says Beck. “I just wasn’t a good guy. I was a scumbag.” (page 3)

    “I was taking drugs every day of my life since I was 16 years old,” (page 3)

    “I’d buy Pope John Paul’s book and then ask myself, who would the pope tell me not to read? Well, probably Nostradamus, so I’d buy his book. It was the library of the insane,” says Beck (page 4)

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    The Urban Dictionary defining the term GlennBeck showing the growing use of the term in our lexicon.

  37. I’ve been reading that Mr. Beck’s attorney fees are in excess of $200,000, trying to put a stop to the GB1990 movement! Why would Mr. Beck spend $200,000 on a goon-squad of high-priced fancy-pants lawyers if he didn’t in fact rape and murder a young girl in 1990? What are you hiding Mr. Beck? This story is NOT going away!

    I also think Fox News Channel should reveal what they knew, and when they knew it with regard to the purported rape and murder of a young girl in 1990 by Glenn Beck. What do they have to hide? Why aren’t they releasing any records? I smell a cover up and it stinks like a rotting corpse raped and murdered in 1990!

  40. Stay off Glenn Beck! He is very even minded because I heard that his grandfather slept with a Black lady and he supported her secretly with the help and advice of the late Mr. Thurman. Glenn , for the record has never raped a woman, I cannot vouch for men or boys but he does not look like a murderer – but then again his heritage is at conflict with itself.

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