A couple of days ago, David Goldstein over at Horse’s Ass (AKA Goldy) sung the praises of state Rep. Geoff Simpson (D-47) for his “thorough and courteous” reply to a woman named Barbara from Sammamish, who mass-emailed state legislators with a Bible-verse-strewn screed against gay marriage. In the email (which I found far more sarcastic than Goldy did) Simpson cited numerous Bible verses relating to marriage, the death penalty, shellfish eating, and animal sacrifice to make the somewhat obvious point that Christians don’t follow most Biblical laws to the letter, so why are they so obsessed with gay marriage? The letter concluded, “I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.” Goldy wrote: “Personally, I think Geoff replied with all the respect the initial email deserved, and I’m particularly impressed considering he doesn’t even represent a safe Democratic district. Bravo.”
Although I certainly don’t disagree with Simpson’s sentiment, the entire letter Goldy praised him for “writing” was lifted verbatim from various sources around the Internet. That doesn’t make the sentiments less true or truly felt, but it does make Simpson’s letter—cobbled together, as it was, from other people’s work— rather less “impressive” than Goldy’s initial post made it sound.
Contacted by email, Goldy said, “I didn’t know at the time” that the letter was cribbed, “but various folks told me afterward. I guess I’m just not diligent enough about reading the viral emails sent my way.”
The letter, with annotations, is below the jump.
From: Simpson, Rep. Geoff
Sent: Monday, March 30, 2009 5:11 PM
To: [redacted]
Subject: RE: Say NO to same sex marriage SB5688
Barbara –
What is it in the bible that leads you to believe stopping gay marriage should top your political priority list? Was there some extra-special **emphasis**, italics, bold or bold italics in your bible that called your attention to one aspect of god’s law to be the thing you should contact your elected representative about? Or did God himself point you to gay marriage as the issue that should be your tip-top, number one political concern?
Jesus opposed the death penalty, saying “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her” – yet George W. Bush set an execution record when he was governor of Texas, and boasted of it. I don’t recall ever getting a message from you opposing the death penalty as Christ did. [This entire paragraph was apparently written by the Charleston Gazette’s James A. Haught and distributed by John Kerry supporters during the 2004 Kerry/Bush campaign.
Why is your “Christian” political activism concentrated against gay marriage instead of against the death penalty?
In the interest enforcing the laws of the bible with regard to marriage, let’s not forget that;
*It’s ok for marriage to consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3: 2-5)
*Marriage does not impede a man’s right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives.(11Sam 5:13; 1Kings 11:3; 11Chron 11:21)
*A marriage is considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut. 22: 13-21)
*Marriage between a believer and a non-believer is forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25: 1-9; Ezra 9:12, Neh 10:30)
*Since marriage is for life, nothing in the scriptures permits divorce.( Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
*If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother’s widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and by otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
[This list of bullet points has been reproduced widely—for example, here.]
Finally, I need some advice from you regarding some of the specific laws contained in the bible and how to best follow them.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:17-21 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
[This entire paragraph, including not just the bullet points but the closing line, was taken from this letter, which has been circulating on the Internet for years.]
My favorite part of the Bible?
Thou shall not steal $8.99 bottles of red wine from QFC.
Oh, now you’re just being silly @1. QFC isn’t even mentioned in the Bible.
And yes, I thought Simpson’s response was a bit heavy on teh sark, but understandably so; it’s about time the Bible-thumpers had a bit of “sauce for the goose” as it were as condiment to their self-righteous sanctimony.
If they truly believe the Bible is in fact, “the unerring word of God”, as they claim, then where do they get off deciding which of their Lord’s dictates to follow, and which to ignore? And why should the rest of us be incumbent to follow only the handful of dicta the B-t’s have cherry-picked for their own bigoted convenience, when they themselves are so unabashed about ignoring all the rest?
If eating shellfish is an abomination in the sight of thy Lord, they by-your-God it’s an abomination, no two ways about it, and ALL violators should be punished according to the prescripts set down. Conversely, if THEY are not going to obey some of their God’s laws, why should WE be compelled to follow any of them?
The larger question certainly still stands: whether or not the selective use of the Bible’s edicts dismisses the idea there is in fact something called God’s law.
Goldy didn’t check to see if it was cribbed because Goldy doesn’t care. His blog is truthier and truthier these days. I think the Horse’s Ass is getting tired.
Yeah, because Barbara’s thoughts were all original too. No cribbing from the xtian mouthfrothers ten best rants for her, oh no. / rolls eyes /
Second most pointless post of all time. Hurrah for Simpson being intelligent enough to know that his time is too valuable for researching or rewording responses to bible-thumping whackjobs. I am glad he cribbed it and hope he used the time he save to do something nice for his mother. Erica, have you called your mother recently? You should do that instead of worrying about silly non-issues.
Adaptations are also seen in the Congressional record … here, for instance, from 2004.
what’s wrong with stealing?
6
Erica, have you visited your mom lately? She may have some unsecured bottles of wine laying around…
Yeah, gotta love the way that Bad Handling #5 of Erica’s arrest has been handled. Just ‘fess up and apologize and we’ll all move on.
Really.
Rapture now, please, or shut up, Xtians.
Researching a story is soooooooo Mainstream Media.
I didn’t see where Simpson claimed to be the original author. It was even on West Wing for godsakes! Was he writing a term paper and claiming it was his original thought? Erica, you whine about the stupidest shit.
So he didn’t know it was cribbed. I had seen parts of it before too. But he passed on a great reponse to that loser, which beats the hell out of your bullshit story
Erica, you just miss pounding on Joel Connelly,don’t you. Did Joel convince you to write this bullshit? Next big story: “Joel praises Erica for attacking Goldy”.