A recent text message exchange:

Wouldn’t it be funny if Barack Obama really was a secret Muslim?

If Barack Obama really is a secret Muslim, then what will I put in my Barack Obama Secret Muslim Keepsake Box? Not secrets!

It will have to be renamed Barack Obama Muslim Well-Known Facts Box.

I mean, you have to admit it would be very slightly hilarious if, on the morning of November 5th, Obama was all, “Sike! AS-SALAAM ALEYKUM, BITCHES! Shoulda listened to crazy Uncle Pete’s e-mail forwards!!” I mean, just a little? Just a tiny bit hilarious? …Guys?

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

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