Think back at the worst date you’ve ever been on—perhaps you were stood up or worse, your date turned out to be a bad tipper or Mitt Romney. Or maybe the date itself was fine but afterward, they ran you over with their car.
That last scenario might have happened, according to a police report filed by Officer Taralee J. Mabry. On Monday, May 9, a woman with tire marks on her leg told her tale of romantic woe to Mabry and her partner, Officer Jeffrey E. Swenson.
According to the report, the woman said she came all the way from Everett to meet a man for a classy pizza dinner and (her words) “half a drink.” Apparently, at this point the date was going well. So well that the couple headed to a nearby Plaid Pantry on the corner of 50th Avenue NE and Roosevelt, where the woman arranged for a cash wire transfer for a pack of Swisher Sweets for her date.
That’s when the evening went sour.
The man reportedly “refused to accept a wire transfer… to buy him Swisher Sweet cigars,” the report states.
This upset his date, who told officers that she then demanded the man take her home. The man, motivated perhaps by a desire to save a trip up I-5 or a revulsion to Swisher Sweets, got in his black Lincoln Towncar with “big chrome rims” and locked the doors. As the woman attempted to get into the passenger seat, witnesses claim that “it appeared the suspect was trying as gently as he could to drive away” as the woman screamed and shouted after him.
It was then the woman claims that the man ran over her right foot and leg, “leaving tire marks on her jeans,” the report notes, as the driver left “very quickly.” Nobody on the scene was in a position to determine whether or not the Swisher-spurner actually ran over his date or not.
After attempting to reach the driver and giving the woman a business card, the responding officers offered to take her to further medical attention. She refused the hospital transport and asked instead to be dropped off at the Northeast 45th and I-5 bus stop to head back to Everett.
This date went horribly awry, but it’s easy to see where it all fell apart: she obviously should have gone with Black and Milds.
At least she wasn’t a passenger in a car driven by Ted Kennedy.
Is your name REALLY Peter Johnson?
Posted by intern Richard P Wang
I think the date went horribly wrong when he realized she was from Everett.
plaid pantry at 50th: best beer deals in town. also, giant bags of lard-less tortilla chips for a buck-fifty. i wonder which mainstay was lording over the register this night?
Wire transfer for a pack of Swishers?!? Com’on? Really???
Methinks the cash was far, far more likely for what she wanted to roll up into those sweet, sweet Swishers!
@5
I lived a few blocks from that Plaid Pantry a couple years ago, and I still miss it.
I find it hard to believe that the woman would have a car run over her foot and part of her leg and not need to go to the hospital.
I’m not buying her story. As others have written, wire money transfer for buying a package of something called swishers? Not needing medical care after saying you got run over?
Really? She came from Everett, for a “classy” pizza dinner and half a drink, arranged a cash wire transfer for a pack of Swishers, and THAT is when it went sour. Bitch has staying power, I will give her that.
Poor people who make bad life choices are HILARIOUS.