18 replies on “Headline of the Day”

  1. After he developed an infected hemorrhoid and his symptoms worsened, including a fever, swollen genitals, bleeding from the rectum and a rash on his torso….. Surgeons had to remove several pounds of flesh, including his penis and a testicle, to save his life, DeLue said. A replacement penis was made with skin from Manning’s thigh.

    I don’t ever want to read the words “infected hemorrhoid” and “bleeding from the rectum” again. “Replacement penis” is okay though.

  2. Julie, you cut off the statement after “rash on his torso” and neglected one of the key points. All of those symptoms were considered an allergic reaction to cold medicine!! While you may not want to read certain words in conjunction, as a man with a penis, I will never feel safe taking cold medicine ever again.

  3. When I read the title, I couldn’t help but think of the other definition of lost. As in, “How does one misplace a penis?” Reading the article, I was sorely disappointed…and quite saddened.

  4. So, does this mean Bill Gates penis is only worth $300,000?

    What if he’s jailed as part of a plea bargain over trade violations?

  5. Of course it was Grays Harbor County. Stop the presses! Doctors in Grays Harbor can’t do anything right! That whole area is completely worthless.

  6. “Infected hemorrhoid” is the worst thing I have ever read. I want to forget how to read now so I never have to read that phrase again.

  7. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
    but I don’t know.
    Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass,
    I like having a detachable penis.

  8. @5,

    It looks like they misdiagnosed him as having an allergic reaction to cold medicine, but he actually was infected with flesh-eating bacteria. So, be more concerned about cuts or scrapes on your body, and about getting treatment from a competent doctor.

  9. I wanna know if the man will ever be able to have an orgasm with his thigh-dick. I mean, if I couldn’t ever have an orgasm again, I wouldn’t settle for $115,000.

    Can a guy come without having his standard-issue dick? Mr. Savage?

  10. #16 I’d say chances for an orgasm for this man are pretty slim. I’m sure the “several pounds of flesh” the surgeons removed include alot more than just his penis – I doubt there’s much left of his rectum, prostate or associated nerve endings either. A tragedy, but at least his alive.

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