It’s time for the Lindy West Lunchtime Mailbag Fun-Show!
This just in:

I don’t know either of these people. But apparently this nice woman’s husband is a fan of my work and added me as a friend on Facebook. How slutty of me!!!!
So….how should I respond?

I still cannot understand why she sent to you – a published columnist and blogger – a completely unhinged bitchy note like this and would not expect the bashing on slog she so richly deserves. I think it is a joke. It has to be.
I would like to think that no one is that insecure, jealous, and stupid at the same time. Except, that…well, there are people that are simultaneously insecure, jealous and stupid.
So, how to we sort out the has to be a joke / deranged unhinged bitch question? Any chance you would be willing to reveal the screenshot of the post – with the name? I am sure there are several sloggers that could help us get to the bottom of this… Enquiring minds want to know!
Now that I know you’re a slut, I’m so friending you on face book. I love sluts. And my slutty wife won’t mind at all that we’re friends.
Just 6 simple characters: A/S/L?
“Can’t talk–mouth full of your husband’s cock.”
@71 FTW
And please please please give us the update on your response and the inevitable next email from her
@89 – I cannot stop laughing at this. Yes, rick roll her! But first send her the note from 67.
Yep, 67 FTW. But oh… the possibilities!!
i’ll be totally honest: i love your writing. and i think you’re super cute. i have a huge crush on you and that’s why i wanted to be your fb friend. i have no idea what this has to do with the topic at hand – just wanted to mention that. (and no, i’m not the husband. i’m happily un-married.)
Lindy, tell her that her beef is with her husband and not with you. That biatch needs to go right to the source of the problem.
Waitasec. Lindy, you’re a slut? I have SO played this wrong. Crap.
Can’t you just have a threeway with us instead?
tell her ‘ what’s you frickin beef lady. i didn’t kiss him ‘
@77, 96, 98
I don’t get the joke… What’s so funny about ignoring the obvious sarcasm in #37?
Send her husband pictures of a vagina and say its yours. CC her.
praise the institution of marriage
I’m surprised that in over 100 comments no one has mentioned trying to let this play out like that Chappelle’s Show “When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong” sketch. just say you have no idea what she’s talking about and let it snowball until she winds up going to jail for something insane and her husband can go off with whoever he really is banging on the side.
oh, and @113, there is no obvious sarcasm in 37. they always tend to drop a big, stinky, moralistic turd into the conversation.
What 39 said, what 39 said!
Dear Lady,
I must respectfully decline your request. I don’t see anything inappropriate about people facebook-friending writers whose work they enjoy, regardless of their marital status. Furthermore, I do not think it is appropriate for a writer to unilaterally terminate a facebook friendship with a fan because the fan’s spouse requested it. Adults are entitled to manage their own facebook friendships however they please, and he may defriend me any time he likes. If you have a problem with your husband’s facebook friendship with me, you should take it up with him and leave me out of it, since your marriage is none of my concern.
Regards,
Lindy
All I learned from this is that Lindy accepts friend requests from strangers. Friend request sent!
And also, @26 ftw.